God Don’t Like Stupid

I really really R E A L L Y fucking hate stupid people.

Like, really.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I am convinced that I was put on this earth to deal with fucking idiots.

When I am driving: Stupid people.
When I am at work: Stuuuuuuuuu u u u pid people.
When I am in public places: Stupid STUPID people.

It all boils down to me NOT being the one and people (yes the stupid ones) assuming that I actually am in fact the one when really I am not the one. The stupidity starts right there in the assumption.

The problem is, either they 1) don’t think I will bitch slap them (which I probably wont because I really have zero desire to have my 31 year old self in front of a judge over an assault case) or they 2) dont think I will ever tell them about themselves. (which I totally will except for if I am at work because I really do not want to get fired all that bad and if I tell these people what I really think of their stupid asses … I absolutely WILL get fired.) Where this problem affects me is in that they keep on keepin’ on with their stupid selves and I keep on keepin’ on being surrounded by them.

Example 1:

While driving the other day, minding our own business … it becomes our turn. The light turns green and if you were unaware … GREEN MEANS GO and RED DOES NOT. So we have a green arrow and Tarable is on her merry way. Whistling and shit. Out of nowhere, this jack-hole stupid ass cuts over into OUR lane and she almost rear ends him. Does he acknowledge this ASSWIPE move? No. Does he even look in our general direction? Um No. He does not. He just gets loose like he was all to the good.

Idiot. Motherfucking dumbfucksonofabitchidiot.

What I wanted to do was chase his ass down and bust his window out. I did not do that. But I WANTED to.

The point: He doesn’t know me. I very well could have and then what? His dumbass took on a pretty significant risk right there.

Example 2:

I work in sales. Sales people enjoy hearing the sounds of their own voices. I am an offender of this on occasion, however I am not a fucking IDIOT so I know when it may be the correct time to simply shut the fuck up.

Some people do not have this mouth mechanism.

So we are forced to listen to them spout off at the mouth in the most IDIOTIC and RETARDED moments.

Moments where their idiotness ruins shit for everyone.

The most frustrating part about this is that ALL OF THE SIGNS POINT TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. But, because they are THAT fucking STUPID … the signs fly over their brainless heads like a 747 jet at take off.

Just SHUT the FUCK UP for once. Seriously.

Example 3:

Some of my owners. Gah. It is like at one of the presentations, the criteria to become an owner was simply to be the stupidest fucking person on the planet.

And when I say stupid, I mean stuuuuuuuuuupid.

Stupid enough to spend MONEY on a product that you never use.
Stupid enough to not even do the research on how TO use the product … instead just bitching about it. <-- that is gonna get a resolution. Let me tell you.
Stupid enough to KEEP paying and out of STUPID stubbornness, purposefully not use it. What fucking point are you trying to prove?

Example #4

Stupid bitches.

God. These cunts are the worst. They give women a horrible name and reputation. And they are EVERYWHERE. It takes every ounce of strength I have inside of me NOT to just slap the shit out of these whores on sight.

What kind of water were these mommies-to-be drinking while pregnant? How could they allow such DUMBNESS out into the world?

It really is not the stupid bitches fault either. It is the parents fault. I want to slap a mom for allowing such a thing to take place.

I swear to Jesus I will beat the stupid out of my daughter before I let her walk out of my house and infect the world with unnecessary stupidity.

Say I wont.

Example #5:

The Unknown Phone Breather.

I pray to The Holy Spirit that you read this blog because are you serious right now?

What a stupid worthless fuck you are. Blocked call breathe in my phone at 8AM? Have we met? If I ever find out who you are (or WERE for that matter because I changed my motherfucking NUMBER you stupid fuck) I will chicken choke the shit out of you.

You must have me twisted with some other fuck that actually IS THE ONE.

In conclusion, stupid is as stupid does. The only person being affected by the aforementioned stupidity is the stupid person. (Well, and me too because every other city I go, I see the same stupid bitches.)

*deep breath*

Would you like to chime in on any examples in your life of total STUPIDITY?

What three adjectives might other people use to describe your personality?
If you could re-live a day of your life again, which would it be and why?

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Cuz Mommy Says Eat

So the question has been directed my way…

“How do you retrain the wheel… in the oral department… when the other person just isn’t as into it as you would like them to be??”

Specifically referring to “dining out”.

I call this oralsexophobia.

When it comes to oral, there really isn’t a retraining. I think oral sex is like sushi. You either like it or you don’t. It isn’t really an acquired taste/talent/fetish. I know several men who just do not prefer to put their face in-between ANYONES legs. I don’t care if you have the prettiest most famous vagina on the planet. They just are not gonna go there. On the flip-side, I know several women who not only refuse to suck a cock… but DEMAND to have their coochie knife and forked regularly.

Um. What?

Granted, I haven’t been a regular Blow Job Betty lately… (not because I am not in a giving mood by any means..) and usually the snatch to cock ratio favors my pleasure… but I don’t demand head if I am not willing to reciprocate.

“So,” you ask… ” what am I supposed to do if I want it, and he/she just doesn’t want to give it?”

There are many different layers to this loaded question.

1:Are YOU giving oral with no reciprocation?

If yes, I would stop. Period. Give ‘No McOral’ a taste of their own medicine. Why should you be the only one giving presents. (yes, I understand that most of us who DO give oral, actually enjoy doing so… however it is absolutely unethical to have Mr. Man in ElBoat-o stranded in lake neglect when Penis McBall is being coddled like a 7 month old infant.)

2- Have you talked to Neglector 2010 about their oralsexophobia?

If you haven’t, PLEASE do. Find out why. Talk about your needs. Tell them how important it is to you to not only receive it, but to give it as well. Explain why it is important in your sex life. Communication is SO key in any relationship. ESPECIALLY the sexual part.

3 If N-2010 is not receptive to your needs, and cannot get past whatever it is that turns them off………

Then you as the needy one, has to decide exactly the level of importance oral sexcapades are to you.

Personally, I would tell D to go take a long walk. I absolutely MUST be the main course on a regular basis. I need frequent stimulation. Period. Need it. Like life or fucking death. There is nothing better than a fantastic tongue fucking related o-face.

Dining out, in my opinion, is more than just a luxury. It is as important as cock penetration. Period. If your ball-and-chain cant get it together… I would tell them to kick rocks, OR find someone who WILL do it on the side.

On a side minirant…. if I catch wind of another bitch that doesn’t swallow…. I am going to fucking scream. Giving head and not at least letting him cum INSIDE your face is like giving him a hot fudge Sunday without the fudge. If you don’t want to digest his seed, fine. But don’t make him tell you when he is about to cum so you can move out of firing range.

He.Might.As.Well.Whack.Off.

Nothing irritates me more than a half-assed Betty. DON’T give them then. DON’T get a mans hopes up and then shaft him at the end.

DON’T make us full BJ givers look bad. We give 110 percent, so you need to as well.

K? K.


Thoughts on oral? Do you dine out?

IF you were to name the emotion that you waste the most time on, what would it be?
Name five songs to which you know all the lyrics.

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Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s: Knowing Your Place

Welcome to Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s!

This week is about a little thing called “Knowing Your Place.” Ever heard of it? I know I have.

Some people have never in their lives heard of it. Wanna know how I know?! I am glad that you asked.

Exhibit A: Assuming that you can walk in the door and be above the rules. In ANY situation.

Know your place. Follow the rules. Show up with the correct attire. Accept the fact that you are low on the totem pole. Submit to not knowing everything and fucking LEARN something for a change. Understand that there were others before you.

Just saying.

Exhibit B: Your foot doesn’t belong in your mouth. I promise.

Know your place. Sometimes … it is okay to shut the fuck up. You may even gain a little bit of respect from someone if you say nothing rather than everything. Take it from me. I have learned this lesson the motherfucking hard way.

Just saying.

Exhibit C: If you are a parent … then BE one.

That means that you absolutely H A V E to be the motherfucking bad guy sometimes. It is a part of parenting. If you aren’t ready to be the bad guy, and if you are okay with a child running you like a pimp does a hoe on Sunset Blvd… then use some motherfucking birth control.

Just saying.

Exhibit D: Assuming that you are better than everyone else around you.

i.e. No one cares about your motherfucking Lexus. Nor do they give a fuck about how bored you are or how qualified you think you are. Not a one of us.

Just motherfucking saying.

To all of you bitches who don’t know your place …

The end. (Unless I missed an exhibit where a bitch doesn’t know their place.)

Would you rather be forgotten or hatefully remembered? Why?
Would you rather end hunger or hatred? Why?

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Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s?: Mirrors.

I think the images that I will use for this week’s Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s will explain why the title of this blog involves mirrors and why I am wondering what in the fuck happened to them.

(In case anyone forgot what a mirror was.)

What I want to know is … do people really have mirrors … and then look into them, and actually make a decision to leave the house looking like this?

Is it just me that thinks that looking like this is not only unacceptable… but also fucking offensive? I swear to fuck if I was at that Walmart when the last bitch was sauntering through the dairy isle … I promise you that I would have let her know about herself. Especially if my kids were with me.

And the bitch with no panties? Really? Reeeeeeeeally? Gah.

We were at Walmart today in fact and in no way was there anything as extreme as any of these images above but … there were some people who I just had to literally take a moment and stop to ponder the lack of decision on their part to find a mirror and realistically make a decision whether or not to fucking change before leaving.

Like the woman who was in possession of some tigolbitties like down to her knees and decided that today was the day to not wear a bra. (or maybe it was every day … I dont know.) How do I know she wasnt wearing one? Because her tshirt was almost see through and her nipples were cutting through it down by her belly button. No lie.

It was like she had 3 outties.

All I am saying is, double check your shit before you leave. Make sure that your unmentionables are covered. Because really? I have no desire to see your beef curtains in the motherfucking paper towel isle.

Now don’t get me wrong … just like the majority of the world … I have made bad leaving the house just to go to Walmart decisions before … but you can bet your ass that I 1) had panties on (or at least something that fully covered my vagina) 2) had some sort of bra on and 3) looked somewhat publicly presentable before I left my house.

I would like to donate mirrors to all of these people who seemingly do not own one. Seriously.

Would you rather find you parents having sex or have your parents find you having sex?
Would you rather have your eye fall out at random times or have uncontrollable constant drool?

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YGWM & Friday Eye Candy

Hello and welcome. Happy motherfucking FRIDAY to you all!

Blind yet? Heh.

Alright. Let’s get on with the open lettering.

Dear IDIOTS,

Idiot #1: You are so fucking stupid. I feel sorry for your kids who have to grow up in an idiot filled environment. Because of you, there is now a clan of idiots roaming the state of Oregon freely and idiotically.

Idiot #2: You are totally unaware of the level of idiot you possess. To have to be near you on a regular basis is fucking paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainful.

Idiot #3: Really?! Lies? All of them? No one feels sorry for you anymore. In fact, it is the opposite. What happens after, is going to be well deserved for all of the lying.

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Dear Everyone,

I don’t give a fuck about the following:

1) The Olympics
2) Your issues.
3) Lost
4) Twilight
5) Avatar

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Dear Sickness in my Throat and Sinuses and Ears and Bodyaches,

FUCK THE FUCK OFF. I am not submitting to your nastiness. I refuse. GET OUT OF MY AREA.

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Dear Self,

You need to stop letting your own doubt prevent you from success. What are you so god damned scared of? What do you have to lose? Just ASK for it. The very worst that can happen is that the answer is no.

Stop giving yourself roadblocks. It is unnecessary stress that you do not need.

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Dear Charli,

Please leave me to sleep alone for like 3 nights a week. That is all I am asking. I love you to death but seriously?! I would like some sleep without you in my personal space. I am over your feet in my back. I am over your face in my face. You are a kicker and a bed hog and I would really like a night of sleep in peace.

I am | | <--- this close to begging for it.

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Dear Writers Block,

Seriously? Get the fuck out of my life. I have the ability to write an entire manuscript of poetry and another SC, which is what everyone is waiting for ... but when it comes down to actually putting content on paper, you are there ... COCKBLOCKING my creativity.

FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF AND DIE.

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Dear You,

Blah. Why is it that half the time I hate you and the other half I dont?

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Dear Tarable,

I am glad you are being an adult. I am proud of you and I love you and I am here for you always.

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Dear Sunshine,

I miss you. Can we catsup soon?

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Dear Inner Fat Girl,

If I could reach inside of myself and stab you to death I would. You are counterproductive to my goals.

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And now for some Friday Eye Candy... Thanks to Cass's recommendation I present Mr. Taye Diggs!

Annnnnd … Ms. Cameron Diaz :)

There you have it folks. You know the drill … purge your weeks in open letter form, so you can go and thoroughly enjoy your weekend!

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Wicked Disorganized.

I am so unorganized. But I am not. When it comes to work and school … and blogging … I am overly organized.

At work especially. I am suuuuuuuper organized. I have files and labels and places for everything. My desk stays clean 95% of the time. I cannot function in chaos at work. Same with school. Being that my time is so limited, I really cannot waste any minute on trying to find some shit I need for school.

At home though? Fuck. I could really use some help.

I have bills upon bills upon papers upon random letters and cards and shit that I do not need all over the place. My closet is a hot mess 95% of the time. I swear I go and get it all organized … and the next day it is as if I never even put forth an ounce of effort. My dresser drawers do not have any order what so ever. There are the most random fucking things in every single drawer. I have clothes that I know for a fucking FACT that I will never wear again because they are mostly 200lb clothes and uhm I don’t weigh 200lbs anymore, (YAY) nor will I ever be again because I stay working on my health and fitness. (most of the time anyway.)

Annnnnnnydisorganized…

My linen closet is hilarious. I don’t even know where to begin … and don’t even get me started on the boxes in the coat closet.

I have no idea why this is. I am not the hoarding type, with the exception of paperwork. I am a fucking w e i r d o with a capitol W when it comes to paperwork. Bills, letters, bills, statements, letters, cards, pictures, school shit for me and Xavier… yet there is no system for it. None. Like, if you were to come over and open a random drawer or box, you would find all kinds of shit that was completely unrelated to one another. They might be in a box with like … I dunno … some board games, or VHS movies that I will never watch again but cannot seem to get rid of to save my life.

Fuck. Am I a part-time hoarder? WTF is wrong with me?

No. Nope. Nuuuhuhhh. *shakes head*

I am making a late entry resolution. Not a “New Years Resolution” but more of a life resolution. I am going to take baby steps to get myself organized. First step is to rid myself of shit that I do NOT need. Second? Get a file cabinet with file folders to implement some sort of bill/ppwk filing process in my house. This means that I am going to have to start actually opening them when they come in the mail.

Fuuuuuuck.

I may or may have forgotten to mention that I am notorious for simply tossing a bill that I don’t feel like paying or that I know I cannot afford to pay. Or simply putting it off and saying I will “deal with it later” and then never dealing with shit.

If I am going to ever pay down my debt and fix my credit … I am going to have to stop pretending that my debt isn’t there. Truthfully, I am a great pretender. Not in 2010 though. This is something that I absolutely must do this year and in order to do it, I need to be focused and clear minded and ORGANIZED.

So that is precisely what I will do … tomorrow … heh.

What is your organizational style?
Am I alone with this?

Would you rather … Run your tongue down ten feet of a New York City street or press your tongue into a strangers nostril?

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YGWM & Friday Eye Candy

Hello! Happy Friday! Without further ado, I shall open the floor for some much needed open letters.

Dear New Guy,

If you keep that attitude up, I promise you won’t last. When a person says hello to you, it might behoove you to fucking acknowledge them. Especially being that you are the new guy. The rookie. The green one. I don’t know and really don’t care if you worked here before or know someone who works here. We are family on this team. Find the place in it where you fit or get the fuck on.

Word?

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Dear Fucking Douchebag,

I am beyond disgusted with what you did to my friend. I am almost positive that I have never known of a more fucked up situation where a supposed friend takes complete advantage in a time of grief. You are going straight to motherfucking hell for this.

—————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Charli,

I had a crappy day and making silly faces with you made me feel so much better.

I love you.

—————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Courtni,

You need to get it together. Seriously. This lack of confidence is fucking bullshit and furthermore, it isn’t YOU to not have any. What is wrong with you? Figure it the fuck out already before I slap the shit out of you.

—————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Arch Enemy,

Everywhere I go, I am convinced we will meet face to face again. Then the communication between yours and mine on a more frequent basis nails yet another in the coffin of what is going to happen.

This time though, there will be no bitch moves. Nope. What is going to happen is that you are going to get yours for the fakeness that you are. Your fake happy little life is about to get revealed. I cannot wait to clown you.

And, once and for all you will be put in your fucking stupid fake place.

Know that.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Henrysan,

You are hands down the sweetest guy I know. I can’t wait til I am able to spoil you a lil bit like you spoil your friends.

Thanks for being such a great friend to me. I don’t think I tell you enough.

Oh and PeeEss: OPEN EYE! ;)

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Dear You,

God you are such a moody baby sometimes.

———————————————————————————————————————–
Dear Fat Girl,

Stop taking over my normal thought process. I DO NOT WANT A CHEESEBURGER. K?

Wicked
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Dear D,

I am so appreciative of you. I hope you know it.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Dear X,

Please keep up the effort. I know you aren’t perfect … but I am happy to have had no calls from the principal in a week. I love you no matter what but I like you that much more when you aren’t in trouble.

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Now … for the Eye Candy

Jensen Ackles. Who IS this guy? I just started looking for hotties because I am out of ideas and NO ONE HAS SUGGESTED ANY (hinthint) and he popped up. Yum.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Mila Kunis. I <3 her.

Alright ladies and gentleman … you know the drill!

Purge your weeks frustrations in the form of open letters so that you can go and thoroughly enjoy your weekends!

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Same Shit, Different Day, Etc.

I am bored of blogging.

Maybe because the same shit happens every day. Maybe because I feel like I repeat myself all the time lately due to sameshitdifferentdayitis.

Maybe I should quit. Whatever. Suggest some shit. KThx.

I mean, it isn’t like my same shit different day is bad shit … it is just the same. So when you are a daily blogger … and the same shit happens, it is like watching the same episode of Friends that always seems to play at 10pm on TBS. Yeah, that shit is funny … but pretty soon … you can regurgitate all of the banter between Phoebe and Joey or Ross and Rachel. You know when Monica is gonna freak out over a misplaced item in her OCD filled life. Funny? Duh … but same nonetheless.

I was thinking about things that I hate a great deal the other day … which then led me to things that I also like a great deal as well.

For instance:

I hate deadbeats. Not just “parents” … but deadbeats in general. To me a deadbeat is anyone who 1) doesn’t own their responsibilities 2) trys to abusively control another human being OR 3) has nothing in life but a negative ass mouth piece and tries to bring others down with their sorry deadbeat asses.

On the same token:

I like them. I like having them around to fucking clown on or bitch about when I want to feel better about my sameshitdifferentdayitis. If it weren’t for them, we would have no one to talk about. And to be honest, I like talking about folks who deserve it.

I also really really hate liars. Like for no reason bold faced fucking liars. They could almost be put into a deadbeat category … but not always. I happen to know for a fact that there are some bold faced fucking liars who are upstanding citizens in all other ways BUT their lies. The only time lies are acceptable are when you are telling kids that Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy etc exists or when bill collectors keep blowing your shit up and you dont have any money to pay them so you act like “Alicia” and “just got this number yesterday so you have no idea who so’n’so is and stop calling.” “Alicia” may or may not be my fake name for bill collectors. Just saying.

Anyway, Liars suck. The end.

Speaking of sucking, I really like sucking. Literally. Not like sucking at life sucking … but suuuuuuuucking. On lollypops or dripping ice cream or penis or … yeah that.

I also like lint brushes. Nothing says bad sameshitdifferentday than lint all over the place.

I hate when I get out into “natural light” and my outfit looks like my cat dry humped it all over the place. Orange hairs all over the place. That fucker waits until I get my shit set out to come and purr all on it like it is his special bed. Helllllooooo spray bottle … meet Jacksons in my business ass.

I like D fat. He is a fatty and I love every fat inch of him. He is not allowed to get skinny again.

I hate that Charli doesnt sleep through the night yet. It is all my fault too.

I hate processes.

I hate how it takes someone super quick to take your money but fucking forever to give it back.

I like getting paid every week.

I also like my co-workers. Especially the non baby ones. (heh.)

I like my job. When someone closes a deal and rings that bell … that shit rules. Why? Because we all rally and make that person feel awesome for their accomplishment. FIST BUMP!

So yeah. That is where I am at. I am also at LMFAO at this pic:

Does anyone else feel the sameshitdifferentdayitis? Tell me about it.

Also, would you rather be … born with an elephant trunk or born with a giraffe neck?

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YGWM & Friday Eye Candy

WAZZZZZZZZUP!!!!!!!!!!! TGIMFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No bullshit, I am 1) Glad that it is Friday. 2) Glad that it is the weekend. 3) Glad that it is Open Letter FUCKING FRIDAY!

Dear New Piercing(s),

Fucking HEAL already.

Love Tarable & Wicked

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Dear D,

Bllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (breath) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (breath)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Fine. Fucking fine. FINE.

Courtni.

———————————————————————————————————————

Dear Stupid Boy,

You are fucking STUPID. I just wanted to you to know.

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Dear JWow and Snook’s,

We are your West Coast soul sistahs. We would beat any bitches ass or even a dudes if he pressed the right buttons. It is like the East and West ATeam. Or really the Bteam. B= Bitches.

Yeeeeah.

Tarably Wicked.

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Dear Jamie,

If the open letter isn’t signed … then I wrote it.

Love Wicked.

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Dear Tarable,

I gotcho back. Always.

Love, Your Bestie

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Dear Jersey Shore,

Why are you so addicting?!

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Dear You,

I appreciate you. Love you, mean it. ;)

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Dear Emotions,

Why? Why do you have to come out at the most inopportune time? Why do you have tear ducts? Like at work when you are looking at yourself in the mirror … or when you are talking to your bestie and she realizes that you are crying and she asks you as you are crying and when she asks you, you cry harder? Why ruin your makeup? Why?

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Dear Friday’s,

We have 60 of you that are just to ourselves. We vow to do really awesome stuff together and without boys or kids or drama filled people. Just us. A bestfrienddate.

Love TarablyWicked

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Dear 2/12,

You have been scheduled as our bestfriendvalentinesdayfridaydate. We are gonna kick it and get drunk and watch a funny movie. The end of that.

TarablyWicked

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Dear Snookin for Love,

Really?!

————————————————————————————————————————

Dear Credits,

Fucking get bought. K?!

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Dear Self,

You are good enough. You are going to be successful. You will make President’s Club. Why? Because. You are not average. You work your ass off everyday. You are TRYING.

It will will will will will will pay off.

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Dear Charli,

GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE.

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Dear Carbs,

Fuck the hell offfffffffffffffff. FUCK OFF.

TarablyWicked

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Dear Old Man,

I get that you are grumpy because you haven’t eaten dinner. I bet your dinner involves complex carbohydrates. Guess what?! Mine doesn’t and I am just as cranky if not more.

Fuck you stupid owner david.

Tarable.

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Dear Ken Adams,

Fuck. Seriously, the thin line is getting thinner by the moment.

Regina Philange
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Dear Hungry,

We legitimately hate you.

TarablyWicked

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Dear Girls Trip,

Its GONNA HAPPEN.

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Dear Courtni,

You need to make a decision for yourself for once. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. You can never say that you didn’t try.

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And for some FRIDAY EYE CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

First… Gerard Butler … YUMMMMMMM.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Minka Kelly ….

Now you go. Purge your weekend so that you can thoroughly enjoy your weekends!

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Honest Tuesday’s: Say What You Need to Say.

Hello! Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s. A place where you can come and be honest about shit that you would be dishonest about otherwise.

So this topic today is not something that I am admitting any dishonesty about. Because if any of you know me, you know that I am 99.9% gonna tell your ass about yourself. Unless 1) I might get fired or 2) I might go to jail. And even then I have taken the risk.

Anyway…

Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by cowards. People who are so scared to just tell someone how they feel.

“We really aren’t friends.”
“I am in love with you but I am too stubborn to say it first.”
“I didn’t invite you out for a reason.”
“No. I am NOT going to call you.”
“I think you are repulsive and would rather not have sex than have sex with you.”
“I am cheating on you.”
“If I wanted you to show up, I would have invited you.”
“We don’t hang out because your significant other is a complete fucking douchebag.”
“Your breath smells like someone took a shit in your mouth.”
“I hate it when you constantly interrupt me in the middle of a sentence.”

I mean seriously?! Are you that afraid of being a real person to where you lead them along their merry way … believing something to be true that is complete and total bullshit? How is someone ever going to be able to fix that annoying thing that they have no clue is in fact annoying in the first place?

Say what you need to say. You are doing no one any favors by keeping it to yourself. Especially not the person whom you are keeping it from.

Furthermore, how asshole-ish are you to talk shit about a person behind their back? Anything you have to say behind their back … you need to figure out how to say it to their face. What are we? 12th graders? Is this fucking Mean Girls but in real life?

Say what you need to say. Fuck sparing someones feelings. Fuck being polite. Fuck smiling in someone’s face in an effort to not cause a scene or drama.

Just fucking tell them. I am over hearing about how so’n’so is blah blah blah all of the time. If you don’t fucking like them, then God damn tell them already.

Or don’t. Whatever. You are the one being a fake, 2 faced fucking asshole. Not me.

Fuck.

Get your weekly honesty out. Say sumpin!

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