YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Mar 12, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Friday Eye Candy, P.O.E. Biz, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, This Thing Called Marriage., You've Got Wicked Mail, bitch, love
Jesus I am elated that the weekend is upon us. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
So, without further ado … It is time for some motherfucking open letters.
First, we have a guest letter:
Dear Penis that thinks something happened,
My vagina is wondering what you THINK you did, because we are confused and feeling untouched and disappointed. We have decide mutually, that you are fired.
sincerely, HM
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Dear You,
Heh at the fact that you know who wrote the above letter. You are welcome. *grin*
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Dear D,
I don’t know how else to tell you how proud I am of you. You know why.
The you that you are right now is the best you ever and I love you so very much.
Especially all of the sex.
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Dear Tarable,
Gah sometimes. And then I remember that you are always gonna be you and I love you for that. I just wish that you would freaking listen.
Then again, I was there. I did me and learned the way I wanted to learn.
So, I will just love you.
I love you.
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Dear Self,
You are starting to get it and it feels rad.
Stay focused. Stay focused. It is not a far shot to remain on track for the end goal. You are gonna achieve it, and then you and D are gonna have a trip of a fucking lifetime.
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Dear KenAdams,
Keep dreaming.
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Dear Numbah1,
You are gonna be so great at adulthood. Stop worrying so much.
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Dear WorkDouche,
Shut the hell up already. When are you gonna get the hint that your shit in fact DOES stink? You are annoying and I am not interested in being your friend.
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Dear Girls Trip,
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Dear June 14th,
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (breath) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Dear Tricky,
I cannot freaking wait to high 5 you for being literally as awesome as me. We are awesome sisters.
I am so proud of you. I am in awe of the challenges that you not only faced, but fucking Chuck Norrised to get to where you are today.
You deserve all the love in the world. Every single ounce.
*cheers*
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Dear Unknown Pranker,
Fuck your face. Seriously. Prank calls? Breathing in the phone? Really? Are you 17? What kind of coward ass bitch are you to call my phone 4-6 times in a day and breathe in the receiver.
You need help. Or me to whoop your ass. Come out of the woodwork you fucking sloppy vagina.
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Dear Spam Commenters,
GEOUFHERE. Gah.
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Dear Charli,
You are almost a diaperless toddler! Woot! Mommy is proud of you. Next task: Sleeping in your own mfing bed all night.
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Now for some eye candy:
Fantastic Four’s Chris Evans
And Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks
Now it is your turn: Purge your weeks so you can thoroughly enjoy your weekend.
Tags: chris evans, christina hendricks, fantastic four, mad men
March 12th, 2010 at 00:34
Dear Friend,
I am so so sorry about your Mum.. what a bad fucking week.. I wish I could do more to help you through this time, you know where I am if you need me. I love you..
Dear Universe,
Fucking stop it already, our parents are not old enough to start dying on us and 3 parents of friends in 2 years is just 3 too many.. Leave my friends be please.
Dear Mum,
I love you… thank you for dropping everything to come and see me just because I needed to see my Mum…
March 12th, 2010 at 04:00
oh my. Christina Hendricks. Can’t.process.thoughts.now.
Mommy Dearest:
Remember when you were sick and giving me a helluva mind-fuck over asking my sister to pick up the food that I prepared since she was going over there anyway and I really didn’t care to see you but you laid into me about how I’m upsetting her? Remember that? Cause I do. But bitch look in the fucking mirror cause the one upsetting my sister is you. You are a grown fucking woman and I am your daughter but you can’t just fucking speak directly to me? Always putting my sister in the middle to relay messages to me? That shit is juvenile and it’s upsetting her. So knock it off you stupid cunt.
*deep breath*
Now I just need to clean that up and say it to her face. If she ever decides to speak to me, anyway.
God, I am happy it’s Friday. Though, Saturday would be better cause then I wouldn’t have to go to work at all.
Mmmmm. Christina Hendricks. *happy place*
March 12th, 2010 at 05:29
“Dear Unknown Pranker,
Fuck your face. Seriously. Prank calls? Breathing in the phone? Really? Are you 17? What kind of coward ass bitch are you to call my phone 4-6 times in a day and breathe in the receiver.
You need help. Or me to whoop your ass. Come out of the woodwork you fucking sloppy vagina.”<————–OK, I'll stop, I promise!! lmmfao
The two eye candies are the best ever two together eye candies…..yummmmmm
I don't know if I really have any letters to get out today….meh
March 12th, 2010 at 05:32
<3
Can't wait for June baby!
March 12th, 2010 at 07:46
squeee.
March 12th, 2010 at 08:13
Dear Supervisor:
Shut up. shut the hell up. Why do you talk to yourself all.fucking.day. It’s soo aggravating. And stop trying to be my friend so bad! Your a good person but your trying to hard and its annoying as fuck.
Dear stuffy nose:
I hate you.
Dear Friend:
I’m really glad you finally talked on the phone with me. I was getting kinda sad that you were so involved with your boyfriend that you weren’t even texting me back. I hate that the only time you consistently call me now is when you fight with him.
Nice eye candy! Happy Friday!
March 12th, 2010 at 09:22
dear self: stayin sucka free is great, keep it up and brush it all off.
dear handy manny: youre boring.
dear courtni: fanfrickintastic eye candies this week… oh and youre beautiful.
dear dad: im over it. OVER it.
dear yardwork: pls do yourself, not to be confused with fucking yourself — thats a letter all on its own.
dear yardwork: go fuck yourself.
dear house: i love you more everyday. i actually feel like im getting somewhere with your born in 1969 ass. youre old, we get it.
dear greg: i cant believe how far you’ve come… you make our family proud.
dear snoop: pls come back soon… i love to dance like a whore to your music.
dear shark club: thx for closing… its about goddamn time.
dear weekend: i cant wait for ladies night in bellevue. its always nice to see some old lady friends.
dear coffee: i like jasmine tea better.
dear matt: i miss you. i hope you are well… i may be youre boring older sister but i still think about you daily… so do the kids so dont give them the navy shaft just cuz youre ‘busy’. the kids don’t understand ‘busy’.
dear kids: dont catch an ass whoopin today…
March 12th, 2010 at 09:55
Dear my daughters dad,
I’m over and have been forever now! Stop trying to change things around on me. Its not me and never has been and MOST definitely NEVER will be!! Just waiting til my lease is up.
Dear Blaze,
I want you!! It feels so right being with you.<3
Dear Me,
I'm so proud of you! Its taken you a looooong time to figure it out, but I'm so glad you did. You'll be a lot happier in the long run! Promise!!
Dear Baby girl,
I love you so very much! Love Mommy
March 12th, 2010 at 10:43
Dear Courtni,
Stop posting such sexy ass eye candy that I forget all my letters.
Dear Christina Hendricks,
Sit on my face. The end.
Dear Chris Evans,
Never wear a shirt again. Also, I want to hold your hand. With my vagina.
Dear Courtni again,
Seriously.
March 12th, 2010 at 11:19
Dear June,
I want to know what is going on in June. What girls trip?
Dear School…
I am glad I made that “a” in the impossible A class. But seriously? This ‘top of my class’ pressure is BULLSHIT. Because you know goddamn well I am going to keep pushing myself to keep it. You’re killing me here and I am going to have a heart attack, especially now that I know I can’t graduate until fall 2010. That’s months more of overambitious stress I get to face. Fuck off! Stupid school.GAH.
March 12th, 2010 at 13:10
Dear NutriSystem,
What the hell is wrong with your food? If I have to eat one more item of food that has “textured vegetable protein” in it I am going to commit a random act of violence.
And why does all your food look the same coming out as it did going in?
You’re lucky I’m losing weight.
Signed,
Disgruntled and Starving
March 15th, 2010 at 17:44
Love your letters as always
March 23rd, 2010 at 07:58
I guess I’m gonna need to read up some more, but this is a really good strting point.