Honest Tuesday’s: I Don’t Like You. It Is Easier That Way.
Mar 8, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Etc., Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
’scuse me while I ramble a bit… and feel free to relate if you wish.
I am sure that I am not alone when I say that I feel most content surrounded by the people I love. But I am probably one of few that doesn’t have that many people surrounding them anymore.
It seems like no matter how hard I try, the people I love the most diminish with time and happenings and exchanges of words. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. It causes me to look in the mirror and ask myself what I as a friend could have possibly done to push them so far away.
But then, maybe it isn’t me.
I am difficult to love, and I like it that way. Why should my devotion come so easy to everyone? Is it fair to think that the people in my life should work hard to earn my love, trust and loyalty? I would work hard to reciprocate for theirs. In every relationship that I have ever encountered, I have worked hard to show them exactly how important they are to me.
I wonder why I find less and less people willing to do the same. As if, it is acceptable to give 50% in a friendship all of a sudden?
D tells me that so many people are terrified of me. Intimidated even. That they are afraid of what I might say to them. What do you mean? You are afraid of someone possibly telling you the truth? Is that what “friendship” has come to? Lying to one another? It makes me sad to know that people walk on eggshells… but at the same time, my guard remains up because really, I don’t give a fuck. I am gonna be me and say what I think, and ask for forgiveness later if it comes down to having to.
Fact is, I don’t like people. I don’t trust people. So excuse me if I don’t run and hug you and tell you all of my deepest, darkest secrets when we first meet.
Regardless, my life and my love are mine… and I choose who to share them with. If it isn’t you… then you haven’t proved to me that you are worth my love. If I shared it with you, and it was betrayed by you… then shame on me for allowing you in in the first place… It is too bad that you are gone, but with or without you…
I am going to love life, and live love.
Because that is how I roll.
Thoughts?
If you could have any car you wanted, which car would you choose? Would it be practical or flashy?
Imagine you woke up one morning to find you had switched bodies with me. What would you do?
Tags: eggshells, Friendship, guard, intimidate, love
March 9th, 2010 at 00:59
I feel ya, babe. I try hard to be the kind of friend I want to have, and it’s rare to find others who are willing to try as hard.
I’ve already had my dream car– a purple Beretta Z26. It’s currently broken down in my dad’s garage, as it has been for over 2 years. My next venture will hopefully be a 5-speed Stratus RXT. And when I win the lottery, the first thing I’m gonna buy is a purple Viper.
I have a thing for purple cars…
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:22
I remember the purple Beretta.
Toni Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 01:57
That makes me happy in my no-no place.
March 9th, 2010 at 03:48
I can be such a bad friend at times but the people that I allow to be that close to me know that it’s not personal when I withdraw. I am grateful that they are so loving and forgiving when I come back out of my shell. But they also know that if they really need me, I’d be there.
I’m more practical than flashy but a little flashy would be nice.
If I woke up in your body? I’d be in bed masturbating all day long, in front of a huge mirror.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:23
All day? That would hurt after awhile!
March 9th, 2010 at 06:29
The way you roll is alright by me.
If we switched bodies? I’d be looking forward to some amazing sex…
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:24
Aww! Thanks!
March 9th, 2010 at 06:53
Thoughts? I love every one of my friends, sometimes they reciprocate that, sometimes they don’t. I have w a big problem NOT be there for someone…anyone that I have loved. For example, a chick I knew in college sees me and out of the blue asks if I have any money she can borrow…I give what I can. Not so much for HER, but she has a child, you know….
maybe I’m pretty naive, but that’s OK.
If you could have any car you wanted, which car would you choose? I want my 1967 FORD Shelby…green, or my 1969 Camaro with a spoiler on the hood..Black….or a 1963or 67 Corvette, convertible, red with black top
Would it be practical or flashy? I would be FAST….I’m not worried about practical OR flashy
Imagine you woke up one morning to find you had switched bodies with me. What would you do? hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:25
LMFAO.
March 9th, 2010 at 08:27
I think I’m the opposite of you. People think I’m too approachable and that can sometimes be a problem… I’m starting to be a little tougher, but that’s hard for me. As for cars.. I want a Model T. That would be amazing.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:27
Model T’s are rad.
You will get tougher.
March 9th, 2010 at 09:26
THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY!!!
I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE RIGHT NOW!!
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:27
I fucking LOATHE you.
March 9th, 2010 at 15:03
i’d rather have two great friends than twenty fickle ones ANY day! quality over quantity, i say.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:27
I say that too!
March 9th, 2010 at 17:09
I couldn’t agree more.
Sorry your heart is hurting right now.
(btw Bama will return to Fb after April 4)
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:28
I will be okay.
I wanna plan a trip this summer.
Bama Riley Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 11:04
Vegas timeshare?
Or somewhere. Definitely somewhere.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 22:28
No come to WA dammit!!!!!!!!!
Bama Riley Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 06:47
OK!
Gawd.
March 9th, 2010 at 21:16
I really don’t have a million people surrounding me, either. I’m happier with three wicked good friends than 30 semi-acceptable friends.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:28
<– wicked.
March 9th, 2010 at 21:50
A new Yukon. A black one. With a 3rd row seat.
I would lay in bed all day with a mirror and a vibrator
too honest?
LivingWicked Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:28
Never “too” honest.
BigMamaCass Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 22:45
yay!
March 10th, 2010 at 06:04
I read this on my phone the other day. I’ve been trying to come up with some fabulous words of wisdom, but am drawing a blank.
Got loads of hugs for you, though! I’ve been there and have felt hurt that people I loved didn’t find the time to at least call and say “Hi, I’m in town and thought of you.”
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 22:28
I love you. That is all.