Cuz Mommy Says Eat
Mar 9, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, DUH, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage.
So the question has been directed my way…
“How do you retrain the wheel… in the oral department… when the other person just isn’t as into it as you would like them to be??”
Specifically referring to “dining out”.
I call this oralsexophobia.
When it comes to oral, there really isn’t a retraining. I think oral sex is like sushi. You either like it or you don’t. It isn’t really an acquired taste/talent/fetish. I know several men who just do not prefer to put their face in-between ANYONES legs. I don’t care if you have the prettiest most famous vagina on the planet. They just are not gonna go there. On the flip-side, I know several women who not only refuse to suck a cock… but DEMAND to have their coochie knife and forked regularly.
Um. What?
Granted, I haven’t been a regular Blow Job Betty lately… (not because I am not in a giving mood by any means..) and usually the snatch to cock ratio favors my pleasure… but I don’t demand head if I am not willing to reciprocate.
“So,” you ask… ” what am I supposed to do if I want it, and he/she just doesn’t want to give it?”
There are many different layers to this loaded question.
1:Are YOU giving oral with no reciprocation?
If yes, I would stop. Period. Give ‘No McOral’ a taste of their own medicine. Why should you be the only one giving presents. (yes, I understand that most of us who DO give oral, actually enjoy doing so… however it is absolutely unethical to have Mr. Man in ElBoat-o stranded in lake neglect when Penis McBall is being coddled like a 7 month old infant.)
2- Have you talked to Neglector 2010 about their oralsexophobia?
If you haven’t, PLEASE do. Find out why. Talk about your needs. Tell them how important it is to you to not only receive it, but to give it as well. Explain why it is important in your sex life. Communication is SO key in any relationship. ESPECIALLY the sexual part.
3 If N-2010 is not receptive to your needs, and cannot get past whatever it is that turns them off………
Then you as the needy one, has to decide exactly the level of importance oral sexcapades are to you.
Personally, I would tell D to go take a long walk. I absolutely MUST be the main course on a regular basis. I need frequent stimulation. Period. Need it. Like life or fucking death. There is nothing better than a fantastic tongue fucking related o-face.
Dining out, in my opinion, is more than just a luxury. It is as important as cock penetration. Period. If your ball-and-chain cant get it together… I would tell them to kick rocks, OR find someone who WILL do it on the side.
On a side minirant…. if I catch wind of another bitch that doesn’t swallow…. I am going to fucking scream. Giving head and not at least letting him cum INSIDE your face is like giving him a hot fudge Sunday without the fudge. If you don’t want to digest his seed, fine. But don’t make him tell you when he is about to cum so you can move out of firing range.
He.Might.As.Well.Whack.Off.
Nothing irritates me more than a half-assed Betty. DON’T give them then. DON’T get a mans hopes up and then shaft him at the end.
DON’T make us full BJ givers look bad. We give 110 percent, so you need to as well.
K? K.
Thoughts on oral? Do you dine out?
IF you were to name the emotion that you waste the most time on, what would it be?
Name five songs to which you know all the lyrics.
Tags: blow job betty, cunningulus, fellatio, oral sex
March 9th, 2010 at 23:03
I have no thoughts on oral. LMAO I think you have enough thoughts to cover me on this one.
Emotion: Fear/anxiety. Followed closely by self-pity/self-loathing. Earning the bronze in that race would be depression. But thankfully I don’t feel those TOO often.
Five songs: Under the Bridge – RHCP, 4 AM – Our Lady Peace, Nuthin’ but a “G” Thang – Snoop and Dre (yes, I googled the title to get it exactly right), Love Shack – B52’s, One – U2. But there are TONS more. I picked a pretty good variety for you.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 00:36
Love Shack is my drunk karaoke song.
Heh.
March 9th, 2010 at 23:09
I give, I take. I like taking a bit more, but what woman doesn’t… Oral sex is a different kind of monster that produces a different kind of orgasm, if you ask me. I hate bitches that say they won’t put a cock in their mouth, which is bad enough, and then go on to say “because penises are dirty, and that’s gross”. Well, I don’t know about you, but women shouldn’t be putting dirty things in their cunts in the first place. If it’s that dirty why do you allow it into your body? Or you could just tell the dude to take a shower really fast…
-”Drive” by Incubus
-”Interstate Love Song” – by Stone Temple Pilots
-”Everlong” by the Foo Fighters
-”Sunday Morning” by No Doubt
-”Killing Me Softly” – by the Fugees (or Roberta Flack, doesn’t matter, same song)
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 00:37
You bring up such a great and valid point.
The reason I give less than I receive is mainly due to the fact that his O after oral puts him to bed.
Heh.
LOVE Killing Me Softly.
March 9th, 2010 at 23:19
Hmmm…to be honest with you I have only given oral sex to 3 men in my life. These 3 men were the only men I truly loved. I am an all or nothing girl when it comes to oral. I HAVE to swallow. To these women that refuse to swallow I would ask, “Are they in love with these men?”
Aymie Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 23:26
That reminds me of the movie Vanilla Sky.
“I swallowed your cum. That means something!”
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 00:38
I love that movie.
Anne Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 15:08
Hopefully I’ll remember to come back, since I’m jumping in on this one. For me, it’s not a refusal to swallow or even practice the fine art. It’s not a matter of NOT loving the man. I’m just…without a long-life jaw, really tired at the end of the day and needing more time simply connecting with the DH. For me, there’s just not enough time in my day to fully prepare mentally for the act.
I think I have hurt feelings that my reluctance could be construed as a lack of love.
Bama Riley Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 19:49
When we forget to take care of ourselves, or we have so much to do during the day that we can’t switch into sexy mode, to makes it really tough.
I know, because, hi, we haven’t met yet, but totally been there. Sex has in the past become a chore, especially when men can switch modes instantly and we are still on the #25 of the mental daily checklist of things that need to be done, and they don’t realize that you have to make love to the brain before it works for the body, and just want to rut it out. (hello run-on sentence and overuse of commas)
Anyway. I have learned something that helps me. Odd in the beginning, but helpful. Anytime I start to feel that way, I carry a notepad with me and write down any fleeting sex thoughts I have during the day. It helps me tap back into the sexy that has gotten pushed to the backburner.
And if I tell my man I want sex in the morning right before he leaves for the day, it builds up the anticipation.
*shrug*
Then again, I swallow.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 23:08
I have found that sometimes, you just gotta fake the interest … simply to get started.
Once I am there, I am all in and I am so happy I forced myself to get in the mood.
If that makes sense.
March 9th, 2010 at 23:31
Ok, I DEF have a response to this one. A: I have had a man that is sooo good in bed an stimulation in so many other ways, I didn’t care about gettin head. Now that’s not all men, an gettin it sometimes is great. Ok a lot,but not necessary if they r great in EVERY other aspect.
B- giving head is awesome,BUT,if ur not my man u might not get it at all an you surely aren’t cumming anywhere near my face let alone in my mouth. Now if ur my man, that’s another story. I am VERY giving any every way, when ur mine. Booty calls don’t get the full package:)
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 00:39
I don’t think that in a booty call situation … oral should be a part.
To me it is an intimacy thing.
March 10th, 2010 at 01:50
Y’all are a bunch of prudes. Giving is just plain fun. No love required, no intimacy required, no caveat that swallowing = undying loyalty. Swallowing comes standard. Facials, now, those are for special occasions.
As for receiving, I’ll demand a good fingering, but oral doesn’t exactly turn my key.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:07
I don’t know how you can say that from this blog anyone is a prude, but whatever.
Just because I prefer to not put a strange mans cock in my mouth … call it what you want … I call it being safe.
awol Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:12
It is somehow preferable/safer to put a strange man’s cock in your vagina? Where you are at a higher risk of contracting HIV and becoming pregnant? I think not. If anything, blowjobs are non-committal, whereas vaginal intercourse should be taken more seriously.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:15
That is what a condom is for.
And, I have tried to use oral condoms and, to me, they are not a pleasant taste to me and completely pointless.
awol Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:21
Follow this link to a Planned Parenthood birth control effectiveness chart: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
15-25 women out of 100 become pregnant using condoms as BC. How many women get pregnant from blowjobs every year?
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 11:17
I don’t know how you found my blog, but this was not intended for an argument.
I do not need you to link me anywhere. It is a matter of preference and opinion. If yours differs from mine then great.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 11:19
and furthermore I would rather not have some random sore on my face forever. But thanks.
Bama Riley Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 11:51
Awol sounds like a guy posing as a girl or a person hanging out specifically to piss you off.
By the way, I take unbrage with the use of ‘y’all’. No self respecting southern belle would come to someone’s blog and try to lecture a group of ladies on the virtues of blow jobs versus sex, they would probably extol the value of pleasuring one’s ‘mayun’ in ‘evary weay’.
Now. I know that you, Wicked, do not like a drama bitch fest, so I will now bow away from the type, but I was reading over this and couldn’t resist tossing in my pennies.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 14:35
I am glad you did. I was sitting her, baffled as to how this blog of all blogs brought it on.
Seriously.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 14:35
*here
Anne Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 15:02
See, reading the original comment, I totally thought this was a guy. And too random to be truly random…
But this will not kill my buzz and hopefully I’ll get to have some fun tonight. (Psst! It took me three tries to find the period key!)
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 23:09
It shouldnt. The commentary was a tad ignorant in my opinion.
March 10th, 2010 at 02:47
I give and take .. the last few men I was with were into taking, not so into giving.. so I stopped.. nothing, nada…
Emotion I waste the most time on – anxiety for sure.. I am a worrier..
5 songs I know all the lyrics to.. off the top of my head though – Angels by Robbie Williams, Wicked Game, Love Shack, Tainted Love and The Weakness in Me (which are 2 of my favourite songs of all time) … but I know all the lyrics to a LOT of songs.. I sing around the house all the time..
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:08
WICKED GAME!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
March 10th, 2010 at 04:09
You know a couple reasons why my heart just went pitter pat!
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:08
Anne Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 14:52
I could still totally do unspeakable acts with you right about now.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 23:09
March 10th, 2010 at 04:11
I love oral sex both as the giver and the receiver.
Emotion I waste the most time on – anger. I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business.
I know all the lyrics to a lot of songs but I just woke up so my mind is like …music….uh….errrr?!
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:09
I can hold a grudge too. It is not a pretty color on me.
March 10th, 2010 at 09:13
Thoughts on oral? I miss it
Been 3 years.
Do you dine out? Yes. Although you make a good point and I am DONE with that.
IF you were to name the emotion that you waste the most time on, what would it be? Anxiety. Is that an emotion?
Name five songs to which you know all the lyrics. Pfft.. LOTS OF EM. And of course I can’t think of ONE right now.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:09
WHAT?! Why?
I would say for the most part, anxiety is an emotion.
BigMamaCass Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:40
Don’t know. I have asked but gotten no answer. It stopped when I got pregnant.
My therapist thinks it might be because he saw a baby come outta there. I dunno. He won’t say.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 14:36
Hmm.
I am not a fan of this.
big fat [X] DISLIKE.
March 10th, 2010 at 09:21
I definately have something to say on this subject. I have been married a long time. We enjoy oral quite often, we both love to give and receive. and yes, I also agree on the swallowing, that is so lame to make them pull out mid orgasm. Come on ladies, you know how it would feel if you were starting to cum and then they took their tongue away. How frustrating would that be. do you just not know the technique to do it? Anyways, I love oral sex, I think it’s great and people should not be so stingy with it. I agree with you on how to deal with someone who is not willing to do it. It is really best when both parties are pleased.
The emotion I waste most time on would be worry/anxiety for sure.
5 songs I know all the lyrics too. . there are lots of them
1)Money can’t buy it, Annie Lennox
2)Hotel California, The eagles
3)It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none, snoop
4)Bust a move, young mc
5)don’t stop believin’, Journey
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 10:11
HA HA HA @ Snoop!!!!!!!! That is my favorite Snoop song ever.
Annnnnnnnd Bust a Move!!!!!!
Annnnnnd Don’t Stop Believin! I get loud about every single time it comes on.
March 10th, 2010 at 10:40
Don’t know. I have asked but gotten no answer. It stopped when I got pregnant.
My therapist thinks it might be because he saw a baby come outta there. I dunno. He won’t say.
March 10th, 2010 at 11:17
I think I am bad at it. But it’s because I have a strong gag reflex and my jaw gets stuck and it hurts. But that doesn’t mean I won’t do it. I like the power it brings. As far as receiving, I have to have it and the man likes to bring it. Sometimes too much. Hello, my face, body and other parts like attention too. INTIMACY is more than sex and a series of moves.
TO AWOL, no like.
Sexist commentary.
Plus not only is there a risk of catching an std from strange, we now get to worry about oral cancer from hpv. Like I told my husband, I really have to love a man to put my mouth around his cock. Then again, I really have to be on that verge to let his cock come near anything of mine so I wouldn’t be fucking some strange guy either.
That doesn’t make me a prude, it makes me an elitist cock snob. I’m no indiscriminate slut. If your cock is worth sucking, I am worth working for. If you don’t like it, step.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 14:38
Depending on the situation, I dont swallow due to the gag reflex. HOWEVER. He still cums in my mouth. No matter what.
Bama Riley Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 19:43
Ditto. I can discretely spit into a discarded tshirt, sheet corner, or towel quickly…And encourage pineapple juice.
March 10th, 2010 at 11:22
Is procrastination an emotion? If not I would say worry is the one I waste my time on.
Songs I know all lyrics to:
Strong enough, Sheryl Crow
Phonography, Britney Spears (shutup)
Lie to me, Jonny Lang
Dreams, Fleetwood Mac
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls
LivingWicked Reply:
March 10th, 2010 at 14:38
<3 Fleetwood Mac
March 11th, 2010 at 01:54
Holy crap, I’m late. I knew I should have gotten on before bed last night. What I want to know is this: do I get extra credit points for knowing which movie the last picture is from? Because that’s important.
And also… what was the question again? Oh yeah. I can do oral, and I really do enjoy it, but I can’t let him come in my mouth. See, I can deep throat but only if I’m lying on my back. Therefore, I would drown in cum if he were to squirt in my mouth in that position. I like to use oral as a pre-requisite. As in, we 69 until I can no longer stand it and then ride it out. It works well. For the record, I’m not against swallowing by any means. All that extra protein is VERY good for me
And also… I waste waaaaaaaaay too much time on jealousy. It’s ridiculous and I hate it, but it is what it is.
I’d also like to note that at least 95% of this reply was brought to you by jello shots. You’re welcome.
March 12th, 2010 at 13:51
I’m glad I skipped this one……