An Opportunity to Say Hello.
Mar 7, 2010 Family, Friendship, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
When did I become such a big ball of emotional?
I know, when I realized that 1) I am a grown up and 2) the friends I have mean more to me than I could ever express into words.
I feel like I am consistently reaching out. Phone calls, Voicemails, Texts … Emails … Many of them go unreturned and that is okay. I know that life is busy and that the world doesn’t revolve around me. However, I just want for them to always know that they are loved and thought of by our family. Fact is, we used to have a tight knit group. Our family. Most of them were boys, and as boys do … the revolving door of female counterparts was a frequent one.
Anyway, the tight knit group have since dissipated. Most of them have moved away and started lives with different friends and love interests. I get it. It is rare that what happened 10 years ago will happen 10 years from now and the entire group of friends will grow old together, spend holidays together … have their kids grow up together. What is hard for me to accept is that, in everyone’s lives … the importance of those friendships aren’t that much more important when distance is involved.
Or is it just me?
D and I found out that one of (or so I thought) our closest friends and his wife and daughter came home for a visit this past week. We found out the day that they left. I hate to be this way, but it stung a little bit to know that, after all of these years … we weren’t important enough for a phone call. It doesn’t really matter how long or short the trip was. It doesn’t make a difference to me. If it were me, I would make every effort to include all of the most important people in my life. If it didn’t work out, then fine … but at least they knew that it was important to us to wrap our arms around them … share a laugh … have a drink … break bread. Whatever. Something.
Even just the opportunity to say hello.
I am watching through photographs. Kids are growing and all of these memories are being made. I want to know them. I want their babies to remember me and love me like I love them. But as it stands, I am a stranger to them. That hurts my heart. Especially because my kids have uncles out there … and now nieces and nephews … whom they barely know. Not by blood, but by bond. Bond to me is that much more solid than any blood relation ever could be.
But I guess I cannot expect the world to see things through my eyes all of the time and I sure as hell cannot expect it to give as much of a shit as I do about the people in it whom I care so God damn much about.
Tags: brotherhood, distance, emotional, Family, Friendship
March 7th, 2010 at 13:48
You know that this is something I’ve been battling with for the past couple of years…and with everything that’s happened in the last year, I try my best to reach out to people even if we’re all busy.
It’s harder when people are local and I find out they become more and more distant to me…sometimes you can do all you can to reach out and there are times you just have to let go…even if it hurts.
<3 you to the moon.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 13:53
I know. I think the realization of the lack of importance is what hurt the most.
Because I genuinely thought that we WERE that important.
It literally broke my heart to see.
DC Princess Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 13:57
Oh trust me…I can relate and I am so sorry you had to feel that way.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 13:58
Yeah we were talking about this a few weeks ago. With the wedding situation, right?
March 7th, 2010 at 15:13
One of my college roommates is in Austin every few months, but I never find out until the pictures are posted on facebook. I totally get this feeling. It sucks to find out that you are not anywhere near as important to someone as they are to you…or as important as you thought you were to them.
It’s a big reason why you and carol, cassie, etc… all mean so much to me – because we do make it work despite the distance.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 15:34
That is heartbreaking.
It angers me that someone can hurt you like that. I wanna punch em in the face.
March 7th, 2010 at 16:25
I have been there. And it definitely hurts. I have also come into cities where friends reside, informed them of the trip and everything, and had them fail to make the effort to see me on my trip. Ouch.
Finding out you don’t rate as high on someone’s priority list as they do on yours is a horrible feeling. But I guess I’d rather know, in the end. My time is precious, life is short. I want to spend it with people who return the respect and love.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 16:51
Very ouch all of the way around.
And yeah, I guess I would rather know as well … in retrospect anyway … the initial realization is the hard thing.
I will get over it and learn the lessons. Eventually. But it doesn’t change the hurt.
Trista Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 18:53
No, it doesn’t…I know. <3
March 7th, 2010 at 20:16
I must admit to being that flaky friend that comes into town and calls last minute, but it’s mostly out of “I’m not important enough to interrupt their lives so I’ll just say a quick hello” syndrome.
I miss my friends. I miss the bonds I used to have. The sad thing is that the friends I miss the most are only 15 minutes away but too caught up in their own hype to make time for me.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 20:21
How long had it been since you had the chance to see them?
Because it is going on 3 years in this case.
You better never in your life come into my area and not call because you don’t think you are important enough. Ya digg?
Pecosa Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 22:18
the friends here, about two weeks. which is way too long for bffs if you ask me.
And never…now that I know that.
LivingWicked Reply:
March 7th, 2010 at 22:38
March 8th, 2010 at 08:42
Thanks for sharing, I found this story while searching for music news, interesting comments and great points made.
March 8th, 2010 at 10:33
Did you create your own blog or did a program do it? Could you please respond? 61
March 9th, 2010 at 21:41
Awww
I have been in those shoes though and it is virtually impossible to call all of our friends when we go home. We always hurt feelings. It’s a lose/lose every time I go home. 
Not saying it is ok, just saying I sort of understand. Sorry hon.
March 11th, 2010 at 08:43
I found this post while searching for music news. Thanks for sharing I’ll be back regularly.