YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Feb 4, 2010 All Things Charli, Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, DUH, Friday Eye Candy, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Ranteriffic, Yum... or Lack There Of.
Hello and welcome. Happy motherfucking FRIDAY to you all!
Blind yet? Heh.
Alright. Let’s get on with the open lettering.
Dear IDIOTS,
Idiot #1: You are so fucking stupid. I feel sorry for your kids who have to grow up in an idiot filled environment. Because of you, there is now a clan of idiots roaming the state of Oregon freely and idiotically.
Idiot #2: You are totally unaware of the level of idiot you possess. To have to be near you on a regular basis is fucking paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainful.
Idiot #3: Really?! Lies? All of them? No one feels sorry for you anymore. In fact, it is the opposite. What happens after, is going to be well deserved for all of the lying.
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Dear Everyone,
I don’t give a fuck about the following:
1) The Olympics
2) Your issues.
3) Lost
4) Twilight
5) Avatar
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Dear Sickness in my Throat and Sinuses and Ears and Bodyaches,
FUCK THE FUCK OFF. I am not submitting to your nastiness. I refuse. GET OUT OF MY AREA.
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Dear Self,
You need to stop letting your own doubt prevent you from success. What are you so god damned scared of? What do you have to lose? Just ASK for it. The very worst that can happen is that the answer is no.
Stop giving yourself roadblocks. It is unnecessary stress that you do not need.
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Dear Charli,
Please leave me to sleep alone for like 3 nights a week. That is all I am asking. I love you to death but seriously?! I would like some sleep without you in my personal space. I am over your feet in my back. I am over your face in my face. You are a kicker and a bed hog and I would really like a night of sleep in peace.
I am | | <--- this close to begging for it.
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Dear Writers Block,
Seriously? Get the fuck out of my life. I have the ability to write an entire manuscript of poetry and another SC, which is what everyone is waiting for ... but when it comes down to actually putting content on paper, you are there ... COCKBLOCKING my creativity.
FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF AND DIE.
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Dear You,
Blah. Why is it that half the time I hate you and the other half I dont?
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Dear Tarable,
I am glad you are being an adult. I am proud of you and I love you and I am here for you always.
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Dear Sunshine,
I miss you. Can we catsup soon?
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Dear Inner Fat Girl,
If I could reach inside of myself and stab you to death I would. You are counterproductive to my goals.
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And now for some Friday Eye Candy... Thanks to Cass's recommendation I present Mr. Taye Diggs!
Annnnnd … Ms. Cameron Diaz 
There you have it folks. You know the drill … purge your weeks in open letter form, so you can go and thoroughly enjoy your weekend!
Tags: cameron diaz, Friday Eye Candy, idiot, open letter, taye diggs
February 4th, 2010 at 23:37
Dear Zan:
Kudos to you for getting over that person you were head over heels for. HE WAS NOT FOR YOU. Kudos to you for taking steps to get rid of the weight you gained while being depressed over aforementioned impending breakup. But you really, really, really need to be more motivated. Passing out after doing only 10 minutes of a level one workout from the 30 Day Shred IS NOT GOING TO HELP. You can do it.
Dear Work:
Stop treating us like children. I know things are rough right now, but reducing the morale of your LOYAL employees is not going to make matters any better.
Dear Best Friend:
I am so glad that your husband has found a new job and that y’all are moving into a new and bigger place. I’m proud of you for not letting the worries get you down. You go girl.
Dear Vagina:
I know you want me to call him. But I can’t. I just can’t. You’re going to have to be happy with B.O.B. for a while, okay? Okay.
Dear Zan (again):
I’m glad that you made up your mind to go back to the military, and it WILL be a much harder undertaking now…STICK WITH IT. Do NOT GIVE UP.
Dear Courtni’s Bug:
GO THE FUCK AWAY. You are not wanted.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 5th, 2010 at 00:14
military?!
splain, lucy!!
February 4th, 2010 at 23:59
Dear Funk,
GTFO already. I’m sick of you and I’m sick of feeling like this.
Dear Self,
Get with the program and start doing SOMETHING already, you’re starting to look like a fat slob and I KNOW you’ve gained at LEAST five pounds since Dec 4th. You disgust me.
Dear Self (again),
I just want to remind you that that extra chin you’ve been sporting isn’t in style.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 5th, 2010 at 00:15
i hate funks. but i loveeeee you.
xoxo
February 5th, 2010 at 00:16
Dear Lingering headache… you can go away now please, it’s the weekend and I you’re not welcome, 5 days is enough already.
Dear Courtni,
1. I hope you feel much better very soon
2. I totally agree I am sick of hearing about fucking Twilight.. enough already.. I am refusing to read the books or see the movies (although I will admit this is largely because I am a purist when it comes to vampire lore and from what I have heard they have messed with that and pissed me off)…
I am however looking forward to the Olympics, and I do admit to being a lost fan…
February 5th, 2010 at 03:57
Yummmy. I have a big crush on Taye Diggs. He’s pretty much the reason I watch Private Practice. That man is hot. Seeing him half naked on your blog is a good start to my day.
Oh, hey, it’s my birthday. I’m 31 today. So far all the mailing lists that I’m signed up for from various online shopping places have sent me emails that pretty much have a version of “happy birthday from us, feel younger with (insert product)” and I’m all FEEL YOUNGER? Screw you! lol
I am a Lost fangirl.
Twilight can DIE.
My only vent is that bf needs to get back from California already. My vagina is missing its penis.
Funny how I could pretty much numb myself to that desire for a long ass time but now that I’m getting it regularly I’m going mad after a week of his absence. Sigh.
I keep putting line breaks in my comment forgetting that it’s going to squish it all together when I’m done.
February 5th, 2010 at 05:34
Dear landlord,
I told you to stop messing with the stuff in my bathroom and you broke something I really need daily. I got it to work again and you messed with it again and now their are parts missing. Go away or sober up and stop being a freak.
Dear Crush,
I get it. You are adorable and you think I’m the shit. And all I can honestly say is that I’m trying to get closer. But I have this bad feeling that this is gonna hurt.
February 5th, 2010 at 06:35
Dear Wicked….
I <3 LOST… =)
February 5th, 2010 at 08:22
dear mother in law
How fucking dare you try to ruin my vacation by sending those insulting texts to me. I thought we were over the issue at hand, but apparantly not. I am being told to try and brush it under the rug by everyone in the family because they do not want to deal with the fact that you are truly mentally ill, and need to have your rights revoked and sent to a facility. I have never had someone freak out on me like that and write so many nasty texts to me. I would never do that, which is why you have no heard word one from me. You told me in one of them to tell you to fuck off, so here it is FUCK OFF!!!!!!
Dear hubby,
you know I love you and would do almost anything for you, but for you to ask me to let this one go is too much. Not only has she not apologized for what she said, she completely denied it. And that is crazy because I have it all saved on my phone. You were pissed at my mom for like 5 years for something so much smaller than this, and I never asked you to drop it. I allowed you your anger, and you should allow me mine. I have a right to be upset and I am, and I don’t want to drop it. If she doesn’t have the balls to admit she lost control and made a big mistake, then you cannot make me talk to her again. I don’t care if you think I am being difficult. I love you, but you can stuff it on this one.
I really like the eye candy today, and I totally agree:
I don’t care about stupid Avatar, lost, twilight, or anything else you had up there.
Whew I feel better now. I really needed to purge that. Thank you!
February 5th, 2010 at 15:31
Dear Guy I no longer want to call Dad.
WAY TO GO! Stealing 6000 dollars from my mothers savings account for drugs. Bra-fucking-vo.
Stop texting me, when I tell you “I don’t want to talk to you.” it means I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
Blah.
February 7th, 2010 at 14:13
Awesome letters this week darlin. LOVE TAYE DIGGS!! NOMNOMNOM!
February 9th, 2010 at 12:06
damn….I want to be the meeat filling in a Taye Diggs/ShemarMoore sammie…..just sayin