YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Jan 28, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, DUH, Family, Friday Eye Candy, Out of Wicked's Mouth, P.O.E. Biz, Ranteriffic, You've Got Wicked Mail, bitch
Hello! Happy Friday! Without further ado, I shall open the floor for some much needed open letters.
Dear New Guy,
If you keep that attitude up, I promise you won’t last. When a person says hello to you, it might behoove you to fucking acknowledge them. Especially being that you are the new guy. The rookie. The green one. I don’t know and really don’t care if you worked here before or know someone who works here. We are family on this team. Find the place in it where you fit or get the fuck on.
Word?
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Dear Fucking Douchebag,
I am beyond disgusted with what you did to my friend. I am almost positive that I have never known of a more fucked up situation where a supposed friend takes complete advantage in a time of grief. You are going straight to motherfucking hell for this.
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Dear Charli,
I had a crappy day and making silly faces with you made me feel so much better.
I love you.
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Dear Courtni,
You need to get it together. Seriously. This lack of confidence is fucking bullshit and furthermore, it isn’t YOU to not have any. What is wrong with you? Figure it the fuck out already before I slap the shit out of you.
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Dear Arch Enemy,
Everywhere I go, I am convinced we will meet face to face again. Then the communication between yours and mine on a more frequent basis nails yet another in the coffin of what is going to happen.
This time though, there will be no bitch moves. Nope. What is going to happen is that you are going to get yours for the fakeness that you are. Your fake happy little life is about to get revealed. I cannot wait to clown you.
And, once and for all you will be put in your fucking stupid fake place.
Know that.
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Dear Henrysan,
You are hands down the sweetest guy I know. I can’t wait til I am able to spoil you a lil bit like you spoil your friends.
Thanks for being such a great friend to me. I don’t think I tell you enough.
Oh and PeeEss: OPEN EYE! 
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Dear You,
God you are such a moody baby sometimes.
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Dear Fat Girl,
Stop taking over my normal thought process. I DO NOT WANT A CHEESEBURGER. K?
Wicked
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Dear D,
I am so appreciative of you. I hope you know it.
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Dear X,
Please keep up the effort. I know you aren’t perfect … but I am happy to have had no calls from the principal in a week. I love you no matter what but I like you that much more when you aren’t in trouble.
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Now … for the Eye Candy
Jensen Ackles. Who IS this guy? I just started looking for hotties because I am out of ideas and NO ONE HAS SUGGESTED ANY (hinthint) and he popped up. Yum.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Mila Kunis. I <3 her.
Alright ladies and gentleman … you know the drill!
Purge your weeks frustrations in the form of open letters so that you can go and thoroughly enjoy your weekends!
Tags: jensen ackles, mila kunis, POE, work
January 28th, 2010 at 23:40
Dear fake ass friends, get the fuck out of my life an kick rocks off a cliff. I’ve kicked some to the curb an will cont to do so. No mercy anymore.
To the rude an ignorant jerks of the world, get on ur roof an jump off. Ur gonna get urs one day.
Dear life in general, GIVE ME A FUCKIN BREAK! I am a gooood person, my god, can I get a lil somethin awesome???
PS, to my awesome friends I freakin love you!! You know who u are.:)
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:24
“kick rocks off a cliff”
LMAO.
Love ya girl. Its gonna get better.
January 28th, 2010 at 23:46
no ranting from me again this week cos it’s my birthday week and I won’t let negativity in…
Dear Loved Ones,
Thank you all for my lovely birthday messages through mail, text, phone and facebook.. it made me feel very loved..
Dear Courtni,
Thank you for granting my request from way back when you started Friday Eye Candy and FINALLY putting up a picture of one of the Supernatural boys Jansen Ackles.. YUM.. I love the show in general but I am not ashamed to admit that those boys are a BIG BIG part of what keeps me glued to the screen…
You gave me a birthday pressie without even knowing it… <3
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:29
I do not remember you asking me to put him as an Eye Candy. Sorry for the delay.
Happy belated birthday, beautiful!
January 29th, 2010 at 00:41
Dear Me,
Now keep making that recent divorcee with the two year old smile at you.
You stood up to your bullies and laughed and called them out on their bullshit and everyone cheered you for it. You are the man.
Dear Wicked,
You are at the top of a short list of bad mutherufckers. Get your confidence back before you meet a timetraveling version of yourself who slaps the shit out of you. You rock. Own that.
Mila Kunis is hawt.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:32
January 29th, 2010 at 01:08
Dear life,
Please, please, PLEASE quit fucking with me! First I lost my job and cannot find one. ANYWHERE! Mickey D’s isn’t even freaking hiring for JHC sake! Then you repo my freaking car! And THEN my son moves back in with his dad which I’m not even sure I’m severly pissed off about but whatever. But now if I don’t come up with at least a grand by 2/5 then I go into foreclosure! And since I was counting on that nice little eic to catch up and I’ve had NO earned income I am sca-rude! Seriously, a break is in order.
Signed,
me about to meltdown.
Love the new layout,btw. Don’t know how long you’ve had it that way but it loads so much faster for me!
Oh, and thank you for putting the eye candy at the END of your blog. If you put it at the top I’d never make it this far down. Yum! (Vin Diesel, just saying)
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:33
Oh man. I hope something turns around soon. Seems like lately, when it rains it pours.
Stupid life.
January 29th, 2010 at 04:06
UNREAL………I FUCKING LOVE MILA KUNIS…….like onanothermotherfuckinglevel!
Id climb inside that and pummel…………..well you know the rest…….well verbally anyway….heh!
What is it about her?
Btw, dear you….fucking NICE ONE today…..laughed MAO for the rest of the day. (Sporadically) Nice and original, and UNEXPECTED, which always makes for the best ones.
Dear YOU TWO……..awesome to see how happy you’ve been the last couple days….and your writing! funny how those go together…
Dear you OTHER TWO….keep it in the bedroom….ANDDONTEVENTHINKABOUTTHESECRETSPOT!!
Dear EVEN YOU OTHER TWO! If you cant wrap up a deal without having a better than 20% retention by now…….do us all a favor and either STOP WRITING THEM OR QUIT. I WONT BE GETTING ON YOUR PHONE.
Dear boss, hell of a week bro….I know. Me and you till the fucking wheels fall off and you know it. luv ya bro. And THANK YOU for all you do behind the scenes.
Dear best man…..didnt mean…..(ok, I did) to say your new baby looks like your girls ex man……..whoops! :-/
Mr. NEW GUY, Mr. MARINE, Mr. SALES KNOWITALL……you FUCKS ALWAYS FALL FLAT ON YOUR ASS IN TRAINING. When will you ever learn? Seriously? Its like you will never get what we do. You keep doing it your way. Ill take your badge, key card, and passwords please.
^^^^^^^^**Above entry** Dear Boss, I think you were right…..we’re EVEN again.
Dear Tupac….FUCK, I COULD USE SOME SICK BEATS/LYRICS TO FUCKING GET INTO RIGHT NOW……..R.I.P.
Dear Metlife……GET A CLUE!
Dear 130% of target…..Im coming for your a$$.
Dear Team…..Im FUCKING PROUD OF YOU.
Dear L.A. ……..DROP OFF INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN ALREADY AND DROWN!!!
And Finally………….Dear Vegas……What MAN goes to Vegas, and in a 22 hour period goes from chillin at home watchin TV, to a decision to say “fuck it, Im going to Vegas”, then convinces his Brother in Law to go as well, hits the airport, arrives in Vegas, decides NOW is the time he should call his wife and let her know of the plans (with her brother), then arrive to a Penthouse (to a bottle of Patron, and a man in a bubble bath btw), then commences to get HHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEDDDDDD, then go to TRYST and rack up an $1800 bar bill and puke in cup only to have three black suits escort him out, then pass out at the Pentheezy and wake up to the guy that got stuck paying the whole bill with this looking at me
/————, ALL AFTER I BROKE HIS CAMERA?? Then fly out to Salt Lake, hit Dick Clarks “American Bandstand” burger joint, only to have some fucking ASS CLOWN next to us try to fit in, and tell us he ordered the “DICKS SAMPLER”………(REALLY fuck face? And you SERIOUSLY got mad when we laughed at you?)
Oh Yeah……..it was THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where we goin this tomorrow?
Happy MOTHERFUCKINGFRIDAY.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:35
Happy MOTHERFUCKINGFRIDAY.
And yeah. THAT new guy is the same fucking tool I was referring to.
He is an assclown.
January 29th, 2010 at 04:58
I don’t know who he is either but I want to do naughty things to him.
I’m feeling good. *gasp* So, again, no ranties from me this week.
I mean, my job is stressful as ever and all that crap but I’m taking everything in stride. Getting laid on a regular basis appears to be good for me.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:40
RIGHT!?
You are getting laid on the regular? WIN!
January 29th, 2010 at 05:59
Dear Courtni,
<3 you
that's all
as for hotties…..James Denton, Karl Urban, Orlando Bloom, have you done Taye Diggs, yet?, Jay Harrington, Jason Gedrick, james bond era Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, Eddie McClintock, Jason Gedrick, Richard Burgi, Josh Holloway, Henry Ian Cusick…
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:41
So you have a list then?!
HA!
<3 you back!
Cassie Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 10:49
ummm, MAAAAAYBE!
January 29th, 2010 at 07:36
Dear nonstop fatigue,
Jesus H. I would like to wake up and feel refreshed, not drugged, and I would like to be able to stay up past 9 to get some homework done. I would like coffee to make a dent in the drag ass feeling I constantly have. I wake up tired, I go to bed tired. I know a lot of this has to do with the sudden change in meds since the one that works for my body is on hiatus, but goddamn.
Also, if you are a latent symptom of some other health issue that the docs are still trying to figure out, tell that issue to make itself known soon so that we can begin treating it.
Furthermore,
Docs, I don’t think it’s something that needs antibiotics. I don’t lick petri dishes, doorknobs, dirty needles or skanky cooch. Nor have I kissed any frogs or been around streptococci.
Dear friends,
you guys don’t know just how much it would mean to be within an hour driving distance.
Grandparents,
I miss y’all. I bawled my eyes out when Loo got her letter from Grandma last night and read it to me.
Gunny,
Gah. This life of ours sure it a nonstop rollercoaster.
Courtni,
Maybe one day we will be stationed near you and we can hang out and build a 4d friendship.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:42
Thank god you don’t lick stanky cooch. That would be a travesty.
We will build one. Life is just chaos right now. Don’t think for a second that I don’t think about you every day.
January 29th, 2010 at 07:39
Dear New Guy,
1. You need a nickname for blogging/tweeting purposes.
2. Please stay as nice as you have been. You’re awesome so far, but with my history, I’m just WAITING for something to go wrong and crossing my fingers that it doesn’t.
Me
Dear head cold,
GTFO! I would like to, at some point, kiss the new guy and I can’t do it with YOU IN MY BUSINESS.
NO LOVE.
Dear Museum,
OOH I don’t care if it makes me a total dork, I am SO excited about you tomorrow. Like, excited to the point that I have zero problem skipping a party tonight to be rested up. Yessss.
Love, I’mANerd.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:45
I am excited to hear about this one.
I love your nerdiness.
January 29th, 2010 at 09:28
Dear Courtni-
I love your blog, and your sense of humor. I have to admit that sometimes I get flushed in my cheeks when I hear you say some things, but it is such a great example of a rock hard woman demonstrating her freedom of speech. You go girl!
Dear T,
Congratulations on paying off your debt! You have worked your ass off for 4 years trying to pay off the debt you accumulated after your divorce. You’ve taken excellent care of your children w/o support from their father, and now you have the means to save for their education. Pat yourself on the back and have a motherfucking drink on me!
Dear Mom- was it really necessary to make such a scene at JT’s B-day that the fucking police showed up! Really? You’re a grandmother, and you need to be able to control yourself better than that. And Joe- if you ever touch my son again, I will punch you in the fucking throat. Don’t ever fool yourself into thinking that I will allow that crazy shit to fly. He’s 9, you’re 62. Get some help man.
Dear D- Thanks for helping me with my kid’s while I’m back in school. I think it’s good for them and you to have extra time to bond.
Dear Ms.O- when you sit with your legs spread open on a fucking table in front of class, every single one of your students can see your bits, and maam, no one wants to see that shit in English class. You’re no MILA KUNIS- so keep it shut!
Thanks C- loves ya! And for fucks sake have a fanfuckingtastic weekend!
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 09:50
Loves YA back!!!!!!!
I plan on having a fanfuckingtastic one.
I am glad you got to vent. It is amazing what some open letter venting will do for the soul.
January 29th, 2010 at 10:57
Dear mother fucking asshole, Really? maybe it’s my fault because I fell for it again… but no. I trusted you. You told me to. You are a liar, and completely insensitive. And what is your address? I’ll send you the bill.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 18:51
UhOh…
January 29th, 2010 at 12:51
Well she is hot on a stick! NOM!
And I wrote out my letters today and you know how to get to them.
xoxo
January 29th, 2010 at 18:53