Offensive Cunt. (or) There is Some TMIThursday in here Somewhere.
Jan 7, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Out of Wicked's Mouth, P.O.E. Biz, Ranteriffic, TMI Thursday's, bitch
For some it is TMI for most it is not. Either way, Lilu always has a great spread of inappropriateness. Check out her blog and the list of TMIT blogs she pimps every week. You are guaranteed to puke in your mouth and laugh.
It has been brought to my attention (for the eleventy millionth time) that I am offensive.
I am offended. I am offended that people are offended by me. Who cares if I am vulgarly stimulated? How does that personally affect you? What does it matter if the word “cunt” makes me wet in the britches?
The fact is, I really get off on watching people squirm in my presence.
When I talk like a trucker, and I see the look on peoples faces… I cum in my pants a little bit. Not a lot. Just a little.
Squirming yet? C’mon baby… give it to me… awww yeah. Jusssst like thaaat.
*ahem*
So yeah. About my offensiveness.
Apparently, bitches are beside themselves with offend. Their offendedness reminded me of this one time at my old job … these one bitches kept looking at me over their computer monitors all nosyevesdropperlike as I told the story of my friend who re-enacted the nip tuck episode with the plastic bag? Yeah, I didn’t know either. Apparently there is an episode where this guy did a chick with a plastic bag over her head.
Anyway, my friend told me that he wanted to try it… and *I* said he couldn’t pull it off. Of course he accepted the challenge… and well, lets just say the pic he sent did the act no justice.
Whatever. These sick things are arousing. Mentally and well… in my panties.
*ahem*
So the friend who I was actually speaking to… not the nosyevesdropperbitches says: “why do you instigate these things? What if she died?”
So I laughed. Loud. My response? “If a person is stupid enough to allow someone to put a plastic bag over their head… and then go even further to allow said person to fucking take a pic of it… while getting rammed from behind … then maybe they are getting what is coming to them if they died.”
Just saying.
I think that was where the offendees had their last listen. I distinctly remember said bitches commence to whispering about me right in front of my face… you know, where they are talking shit and you KNOW they are cause they keep glancing in your direction while doing so??
Yeah. I am different than most. I don’t anxiously look away. I was all in this broads face as she talked shit about my vulgarity. As she glanced, our eyes met. And I didn’t avert. I made damn sure that her eyes moved before mine did… and I hope that she got the point that I aint scared of her or anyone else.
I have been me for this many years, and I will continue to BE me until my last cunt filled breath.
Fact: I like to curse.
Fact: I like to talk about cocks, and face humping.
Fact: I am as vulgar and crass as they come.
Fact: I would put a cock in my mouth in front of just about anyone, and give lessons if needed on how it is handled while in said mouth.
Fact: Watching and being watched while fucking is an amazing discovery.
Fact: Wicked is obsessed with a good fisting.
Wickedpedia Entry: Talking about sex, cocks, cunts, fisting, horny, tits… and anything else porn in nature is what I do. Get over it or stop fucking eavesdropping. That is your punishment for being nosey.
Cunt.
Have you ever actually awakened in bed with someone whose name you didn’t know?
What is your favorite curse word and why?
January 7th, 2010 at 00:33
I am in motherfuckingtearslaugingrightnow!!!!!!!! That is fucking AWESOME! btw….MUST.SEE.THIS.PIC!
Anyhow, I say,. Anyone who doesnt find you GENUINELY entertaining for who you are…..AINT.REALLY.FUCKING.LIVING……and should have a plastic bag shoved over thier head and pummeled from behind……..I bet THEN they would lighten up. Fisting, REALLY!!!??? WOW!
Luv ya girl. Awesome blog.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 00:39
Yes. Fisting is the BIZNESS.
January 7th, 2010 at 01:27
Considering I would eat a girl out to show people how it’s done and think being watched during sex would be fantastic, I just find you hilarious.
The closest I’ve gotten to waking up to a stranger was when I woke up and I had forgotten the girl’s name. I keep it classy.
Favourite curse word will always be fuck. As for why, watching The Boondock Saints proved just how versatile it was.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 13:38
Kendall, you and I could be great friends I think. I hope to see you ’round.
January 7th, 2010 at 02:10
You voice what I think, but apart from here don’t really have anyone I can share these thoughts with….
No
Favourite curse word is fuck although I don’t actually curse much, in the bedroom and if I’m really really mad about something… people know they’ve pushed me too far if I use the word fuck towards them
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 13:39
heh. @ in the bedroom. Meeeeee too.
I have missed you. Where have ya been hiding?
Kylie Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:15
I’ve been a bit unwell this last week – have been reading everyday just not mustering the energy to think and comment…
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:13
Oh ok. Just makin sure. Hope you are feeling better!
Kylie Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 21:48
Feeling much better now that I’m on antibiotics.. Will be back to normal soon… thanks, it’s nice to know I’m missed.
January 7th, 2010 at 05:39
[...] LivingWicked’s Offensive Cunt. (or) There is Some TMIThursday in here Somewhere. [...]
January 7th, 2010 at 05:42
I have never woke up to a stranger. Would never happen.
I swear in front of some people and don’t in front of others. I do this without thinking about it.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 13:59
Why not? Because you are a gentleman?
David Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 14:03
Kinda, though not for that reason.
Not sure which you were referring to. Maybe both.
When I was younger I learned that beauty and initial attraction was a horrible gauge for being with someone. I appreciate beauty on a sensual level. I don’t trick myself into thinking it is more than that. Not that I shun beauty. But I do get to know a girl first and I wouldn’t end up in bed with someone I didn’t know. My mind is no longer wired for that kind of thing.
I am not easily offended. Nor am I out to offend. If you are down with cursing, I probably will. If, not… It’s being respectful of an audience.
January 7th, 2010 at 05:45
heheheheheh
I feel the SAME way…let’s just say that I have had someone report me for sexual harassment in the work place. I’m with you though, you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have been listening to it. I do make it kinda hard, b/c I have a booming voice, but that I cannot help……
Have you ever actually awakened in bed with someone whose name you didn’t know? ALL THE TIME!!!
What is your favorite curse word and why? I have no favorite and to pick one might make the others jealous…..and we wouldn’t want that.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:04
Really? I am somewhat surprised but not.
January 7th, 2010 at 06:08
Boo Yah!! I also like to use ALL my adjectives in conversation. I’ve had friends think fondly of me every time they see A Christmas Story and Ralphie is explaining how his father wove a tapestry of profanity that still hangs over Lake Michigan today.
Never woken up with someone I didn’t know. Woke up once two states away in an apartment full of no ones I knew, that was awkward.
My favorite go-to lately has been fucktarded little ass clown.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:10
I love your go-to.
January 7th, 2010 at 06:34
You know I wholeheartedly respect this.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:10
Well of COURSE you do. HA!
January 7th, 2010 at 07:43
I love your awesomeness in every way! I look forward to your blogs every day! You are Da Bestest!
Did I wake up with someone who I didnt know their name???
YES~! I didnt even know where I was or what happened! I think I was slipped ruffies or something…But that was YEARS ago.
My fav curse word would have to be Shit or Ass Hole. I say them ALL the time. Guess I am giving a bad impression to my kids. LOL
~Donna~
PS: Are lessons free???? heehee
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:15
I <3 “asshole”.
Also, yes the lessons are free. For you anyway.
DonnaY Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 05:48
Love Ya~! I will be taking you up on thoses lessons!!
*Donna
January 7th, 2010 at 07:59
Girl…..You say it bestest for me every time!! I also am a huge fan of the word CUNT….just because it offends people….too cool!!
As for waking up next to someone who’s name you didn’t know….hmmmmm, I pretty much kicked him out before I went to sleep, and I believe I might have known his name at one point in the night….does that count?!
How many more days ?!?! sooooo close to a good fistn….
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:34
It totally counts … and 4 FOUR DAYS
January 7th, 2010 at 08:21
hahahahaha. love.it.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:36
January 7th, 2010 at 08:53
That plastic bag line made me snort. Then again I know I’m a crazy fucker.
It’s not my favorite curse word, but schmuck is really fun to say, as is douche. doucheschmuck.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:36
I love the word douche.
January 7th, 2010 at 09:26
there is nothing better than making someone uncomfortable for extended period of times.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 14:37
It is pretty much my favorite thing (other than sex) ever in the history of favorite things to do.
January 7th, 2010 at 10:37
Please don’t you ever change. Your wickedpedia definition was just amazing.
I’d say cunt nugget is def. one of my favorites.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:11
I promise I wont. It has been 30 years.
What exactly IS a cunt nugget?!
January 7th, 2010 at 13:16
cunt is a great word and also an excellent book.
i don’t offend easily either.
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:11
An excellent book?!
floreta Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:16
yes, a feminist one, of course
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:24
Well I now have new reading material via Amazon.com.
You made my undercover feminist day.
January 7th, 2010 at 13:24
I’m an old man, so I love dirty talking little girls. Platonically of course. I’m gonna follow you and list your blog on mine.
Good blog. Keep it up.
Thanks,
Greg
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:12
I am a platonically correct dirty talking little girl.
I will be reading yours. As soon as I get home. Nice to meetcha!
January 7th, 2010 at 14:25
I can’t say I’ve ever woken up in bed with someone I don’t know but my favourite naughty word is definitely “cunt”. I always get a thrill saying it because I KNOW it is the NAUGHTIEST of naughty words.
I wish you worked in MY office. I think my day would be so much more fun…
LivingWicked Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 15:13
Maybe, I should be a corporate office offender floater. Where I spend months in office settings, offending the fuck out of over sensitive cunts. ! <– GENIUS!
January 7th, 2010 at 21:48
Oh I so love you Court! That made my miserable day so much better! I can’t stop laughing!
I’ve never woken up to someone whos name I didn’t know, but I definitely haven’t known A LOT of peoples names!
Ooops 
As for my favorite curse word….. I have sooooo many! But the most used words are probably~ fuck and asshole. In other words “get off your fucking phone you fucking asshole and fucking drive!”
Love ya
LivingWicked Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 00:28
Oh yay! I am glad I made you laugh!
January 8th, 2010 at 13:38
Yes – it sucks when I have no idea which name to scream during sex. But it’s a little more fucked up when I know the guy has given me a fake name!
January 9th, 2010 at 15:59
I like when people are true. Keep being your awesome self. I don’t find it offensive at all. Love it. We’re all here for the face humping.
Favorite cuss word? Eff. It’s so expressive.
January 16th, 2010 at 00:01
I have found that in this day and age that the days of safe sex in any way shape or form are pretty much over.So as a man, a single man I have turned to the internet to fulfill my desires at this time in my life.Online I can find many options that do not run the same risks as playing the field.With so many different websites to chose from it is hard to decide which one to go to.I as a man tend to go to the ones with the models that I enjoy.