Wicked Facts
Dec 2, 2009 DUH, Etc., Out of Wicked's Mouth, Random, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions, bitch
I have this thing in my head called a brain. Inside of it holds many interesting thoughts and questions. If brains were famous people… mine would be a mix between Weird Al, Madonna, and Awesome-O.
I secretly hate penguins. All birds actually. Penguins are dirty ugly birds just like all of the other birds in the world and I cannot fucking fathom how people are all “OMGLOOKATTHEPENGUINITISSOCUUUUUUUUUUTE!” at the zoo. Cute at the zoo is a tiger. Not a waddling bird.
I only like the crispy outside of cookies. The gooey centers make me pukey. Other gooey centers… well… Heh.
I picture people fucking. When I meet someone, I almost always pick their favorite position out and visualize them doing it in the first 45 seconds. For most of you, this is not new information.
I have an uncanny talent for calling out penis size without ever even seeing it. I think I have been wrong 2 times out of the bajillion I have called out. (the best thing is seeing the guys face when I am right)
I lie to bill collectors. Even when it isn’t necessary.
I have really bad skin. On my face anyway. I am super self conscious about it.
I am also self conscious about my breath. I am constantly making sure that I am not the one with stank breath because I have a seriously high sense of smell and there is nothing worse than a motherfucker with bad breath all up in your face.
Sometimes, I like to pretend that I am an evil villain, mid plot for taking over the world. Sometimes I even evil laugh to myself to make it more realistic.
I eat pear halves from the middle out cause they remind me of vaginas.
I steal spices from the grocery store. Always.
I like submissive sex. Fuck me, suck me, beat me baby! (Again. Not new information for most.)
I AM too proud to beg.
I tend to talk to myself.
I DO NOT answer myself though. That is the difference between crazy and not crazy. (shutup)
I absolutely will only watch one news channel and one news channel only. I may or may not freak out if I am stuck with some GMA rather than the Today show in the mornings. Being on vacation completely fucks with me in regard to this issue. I like to have the news on while starting my day and when it is some weird looking bitch from another region … it throws me off a little. (shut up)
I am obsessed with 3 key things. Name them. If you know me, this will be easy. If you don’t … well … good luck. Heh.
Say the first thing that comes to your mind after reading the following words:
Snuggle
Heart
Marshmallow
Smack
Colloquy
Perpendicular
Hollow
Marker
Tags: aint to proud to beg, Living Wicked, TLC, wicked
December 2nd, 2009 at 03:52
Penguins are the only birds I like. I do squee over them.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I only like ooeygooey cookies. Crispy cookies make for SadAmandaPandas.
…waking up alone on Saturday morning.
I don’t like these words and demand a do-over.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:06
I don’t like these words either and me too.
December 2nd, 2009 at 04:49
Snuggle – Puppy
Heart — attack
Marshmallow — melty center
Smack — down
Colloquy — disappointed that it doesn’t come to me quickly
Perpendicular — high school
Hollow — center
Marker — huff
I snorted about the pear.
I can immediately say you are obsessed with sex and cleanliness.
Ever tried Clinique and/or Bare Minerals? I gotta swear by the Bare Minerals because I stopped breaking out once I made the switch.
I’m almost tempted to ask you about Keith’s penis. I haven’t had enough coffee yet.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:07
Heh. 2 of 3 correct.
I need to see a picture.
And no. I haven’t but I will check them both out.
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:45
“I picture people fucking. When I meet someone, I almost always pick their favorite position out and visualize them doing it in the first 45 seconds. For most of you, this is not new information.”<–the first 45 seconds???? DAMN, I WISH I could quell my thought after 45 seconds!!!! lol
Say the first thing that comes to your mind after reading the following words:
Snuggle – bleh
Heart – blood
Marshmallow – hot chocolate
Smack – bitch slap
Colloquy – huh?
Perpendicular – Parallel
Hollow – Sleepy
Marker – mile marker
The three things you are obsessed with…hmmmmmmm…..sex, NOT BEING THE ONE, and personal hygiene….
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:08
Hmmm. Maybe there are 4 things. I wasn’t considering NOT BEING THE ONE at first, but I may need to re-think.
December 2nd, 2009 at 06:31
The pear thing – that’s hot, made me laugh and made my no-no spot tingley
How big is my no-no spot? Do you have to see me physically, or does this super power work over the interwebs as well?
Snuggle – bunny
Heart – red
Marshmallow – Fluffernutter
Smack – up side the head
Colloquy – pretentious
Perpendicular – flat
Hollow – empty
Marker – magic
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:09
I am a perv.
I need to see a pic.
December 2nd, 2009 at 09:01
Wow, I feel awesome that I knew most of this stuff about you. Well the penguin thing is sad. They are soft and fuzzy, whats not to love??
Snuggle-cuddle
Heart-beat
Marshmallow-cream
Smack-bitch
Colloquy-do what?
Perpendicular-penis
Hollow-hole
Marker-crayola
You said the first word… dont know where the fuck those came from but those were the first words…. If you were my shrink would you have me commited?
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:09
HA @ perp-penis. HAHAHA
BigMamaCass Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 07:13
See? It’s not so far fetched.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:04
You don’t like penguins?! They are so flippin’ cuuuuuuute. I get all mooshy watching Happy Feet and YES I WATCH IT ALL BY MYSELF over and over again. I don’t care. That little dancing penguin warms my cold bitter heart.
The pear thing made me snort. I can’t eat pears, the texture is weird to me. The flavor is fine but I can’t get past the texture.
I took the holiday weekend to grieve what I’ve lost and in a lot of ways I’m doing better, hey I’m commenting again for starters but damn if I wasn’t just sitting here about to cry again because I was browsing online and saw a gift she’d love and just as I was about to add it to cart, it hit me she isn’t even in my life to receive it anymore. I hate this. And it has nothing to do with this blog but I just needed to say it.
Snuggle bunny
Heart broken
Marshmallow cocoa
Smack down
Colloquy show off
Perpendicular intersection
Hollow empty
Marker magic
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:10
No I really don’t like them.
I am a texture person too. Weird.
Who is she? What did I miss?
April Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 03:21
She is my friend that ended the friendship quite suddenly. She is the reason that I freaked out and went into social withdrawal and stopped commenting for a while there. I thought I’d be away even longer but after crying about it for 4 days straight, I feel a bit better.
December 2nd, 2009 at 10:07
I purposely did not look at other comments to avoid having my first thoughts influenced on those words and I still answered a lot of the same as above. Funny.
Also: sex, hygiene, body hair
Did I pass? Am I still your friend?
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:11
You are still my friend and you have 2 of 3 correct.
April Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 03:22
sex, hygiene… love
December 2nd, 2009 at 19:56
Do you know me well enough to know the size of my penis? Just curious.
I love this blog.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:11
I think I do.
I love that you love it.
December 3rd, 2009 at 06:57
I’m with Squish. I love penguins, but ONLY penguins. All other birds are gross and freaky. Much like fish. Except for sharks… I forgive sharks because they are totally and completely BAD ASS. Plus, at least they own up to their creepiness.
xo
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:12
I hate fish too. Sharks are radical and so very gangster.
I miss you.
December 3rd, 2009 at 13:22
Snuggle – Monkeys…
Heart — worms (what, took sunny to the vet today)
Marshmallow —goodness
Smack — ers, Bonnie Bell
Colloquy — convo
Perpendicular —sex
Hollow — Sleepy
Marker — tattoos
you love your vag, d’s cock and your kids the most.
or would that be sex, family and writing?
damn, now i’m wondering….
LivingWicked Reply:
December 4th, 2009 at 00:13
You have 1 of 3. Hmmm.