Whatever Happened to Wednesday: Sex?
Dec 8, 2009 Current Events, I Forgot to Tag, Masturbate-able, Random, Ranteriffic, Sex, bitch
Yep. I went there again. Because really, (yes really) I am wondering what happened to it.
Oh wait. I know! Pick me!
Sex happened to be taken from me like a 17 year old’s virginity on prom night. Or like Tarable when she was a cheerleader in high school with her cheer skirt pulled up over her ass. Mental picture anyone? Apparently, that was a great day for Tara. For me, notsomuch. Because this bitch is still having the skirt pulled over the ass sex and I am in fact not.
Oh Seh Eeh X! Where art thou? My vagina is lonely and neglected. Like, if my vagina was 5, someone would have called VPS by now because I have had zero penile encounters in daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays. If my vagina was 5, it would be hungry (oh wait it is) and crying out for some much need affection (oh wait it is).
By the time VPS discovers my neglected vagina, it will have forgotten how to communicate properly with the outside world and might even need serious counseling and possibly some heavy anti-depressant medication. My vagina may or may not have disowned me at this point as well. It is already giving me the silent treatment. Seriously.
Furthermore, sex may have to commit my vagina to a mental institution because if I have to wait another 34 more days without it … I could possibly be committed with a straight jacket and everything. Like Hannibal Lector. Creepy, right? I know. I am me.
Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck this. The end.
Why do people stress out about things that they cannot control on a daily basis? Do you do this? What do you do to cope with it?
Why do people who want to see my vagina play games like they dont? I mean if you wanna see it, just ask me. Jesus.
What color would you use to describe yourself?
Tags: Sex
December 9th, 2009 at 00:28
I stress about things that I cannot control EVERY.FUCKING.DAY.
I have no idea how I manage to cope….aside from blogging it the fuck out (HOLY SHIT, this baby has GAS ASS WTF) and being a ranty bitch all the friggen time. I’m just one of those people….who HAS TO WORRY about someone or something. Someone HAS TO NEED ME. I NEED someone or something that NEEDS me. It’s just the way it is. I have to have something that keeps me living every friggen day and the second that slips away….I better find something NEW or I will go out of my godforsakeneverlovingMIND! I cannot explain it. No matter how hard I try and JUSTBESTILLANDKNOW, I cannot do it. I hit the fucking shower, and I start to THINK. The shit doesn’t shut off and then I get out of the shower pissed and have to rant again. There is not enough valium to cure it. Or mydol. AT LEAST I’M NOT IN DENIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think they’re scared you will say no. What’s that thing called….where ‘IF YOU SEE IT, YOU WILL DIE HAPPY?’….yeah, that’s YOUR VAG. Guys are weird. They feel that way about some chicks. They are PUSSIES FOR NOT ASKING STRAIGHT UP!!!!!
I’m feeling a little teal today. Not quite blue. Not quite green. My head hurts. And I think I have an infucktion. I’m calling the midwife in the morning. At the very least…maybe they’ll give me some more pain meds. Ugg.
December 9th, 2009 at 02:11
Just wanted to let you know, your awesome.
Because ultimately, people WANT CONTROL.
No, I always make sure IM IN CONTROL. lol
See above.
Depends on the person I would say. But if its that blatant and obvious, it must be out of that persons CONTROL. Which they probably hate. Again, see above.
December 9th, 2009 at 03:37
We stress about things we can’t control because we can’t control them. duh.
Yes, I do this and I can’t say how I cope because I really don’t. I just break down every few months. Healthy? Nope.
Not touching that one.
Today, I am gray. Because the weather is ugly and gross, the kid’s school is cancelled and I’m stressing about having to drive to work in this in my shitty car that doesn’t handle bad conditions well at all. I want a snow day too dammit.
December 9th, 2009 at 05:55
Boredom? The Media? M(P)aternal instinct?
Deal with boredom? or going without sex? Either way, my coping mechanism is to distract myself. A new hobby, a new book…anything to pass the time and keep my mind and hands occupied. Something to stretch and grow parts of myself other than whatever I am trying to ignore. Thus why the celibacy thing worked so well during the Jesus phase…and phased out as soon as I understood all I was ever going to about it.
December 9th, 2009 at 06:40
I don’t really stress about stuff I can’t control…
Dear Wicked,
May I see your vagina?
-Dre
KIDDING KIDDING
I’m gonna go with black today, a friend of mine is in ICU and I’m worried about him and the friend who is with him. Bleh. Cloud of Worry.
December 9th, 2009 at 08:05
If I can change something there’s no need to stress about it. If I can’t change something and it’s not in my control there’s no need to stress about it.
And the only way I’d want to see you vag is right before I start doing naughty things to it. If I can’t play with it, there’s no need to see it, there’s no need to stress about it
December 9th, 2009 at 08:13
Why do people stress out about things that they cannot control on a daily basis? Because we all like to complicate life so much more than it really is…
Do you do this? yes I do, on occassion
What do you do to cope with it? Drink
Why do people who want to see my vagina play games like they dont? I mean if you wanna see it, just ask me. Jesus.
I have no want or need to see your vagina……..ever
What color would you use to describe yourself? purple and gold!!! or maybe green or maybe orange…bright orange
December 9th, 2009 at 10:29
Awww
And I’m sorry but VPS… LMFAO!! Like on the floor rolling around laughing. That shit just rubbed my funny bone. HAHAHAHA
Red. Cause I am crazy spaz red. (totally guessing that you already knew this)
December 9th, 2009 at 11:10
This is why I am a huuuuge fan of the random hook up. Keeps the crazy away. Hang in there.
December 9th, 2009 at 16:39
I stress out over things I can’t control because I somehow think I can control it- then I stress over the repeated frustration I feel each time I remember again that I can’t do a thing.
Nothing takes the place of a penile injections- but seriously, why would V go lonely with all the vibrating buddies out there? Over the years I have emassed quite a collection myself. Don’t neglect yourself when you don’t have to.
I’d say I’m black today- or at least wearing black again…
December 10th, 2009 at 00:23
Can we be more specific with this statement and say that “I miss GOOD sex?” I finally got some of The Sex (one time) and it was AWFUL and so I am not counting it and I will join you by saying I, too, miss GOOD sex.
If it makes you feel better, it has been 20 months since I have had any action. Minus the terrible, terrible incident that happened before Thanksgiving.
Maybe think about how great it will be when you finally get some? In … what, 34 days? (maybe that’s not helpful.)
I’m pink today, but really because I am wearing a pink sweater and a new sparkly pink and red scarf and I’m lacking creativity to be introspective and examine what color I might be.