TMIThursday: Eye Will Try Anything … Once.
Dec 17, 2009 Masturbate-able, TMI Thursday's, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, Yum... or Lack There Of., love, pillow talk
Welcome to TMIThursday!
It is a place where what I write may or may not make you throw up in your mouth, cringe and laugh all at the same time. Make sure to check out Ms. Lilu’s blog and her list of TMIT’s for the week. Word?!
I am going to forewarn you. This blog is one that some of you probably NEVER want to read about me. So you have the option to click the red X in the top right hand corner right now. If you continue, I don’t want to hear it. K? K.
(also some of you may not be surprised in the least. Just saying.)
This conversation comes after many many many many many conversations prior to it where a certain someone would beg me to let him do it and I would vehemently shoot down his dreams of doing it over and over and over and over and over again. With me?
*ahem*
D: “You should let me do it. Just once.”
Me: “NO! I have no desire! None!”
D: “Puhleeeeeeeese!!!!!!!! Just like with food, you need to try everything at least once!”
Me: “No.”
D: “C’mon. You know you wanna try it.”
Me: “No.”
D: “Fine I am just gonna do it without your permission. Then what will you do?”
Me: “Divorce you. But I would punch you in your junk first.”
D: “You won’t.”
Me: “YOU wont.”
Hours later… we are doing the do. Makin’ babies or some corny way to say “fucking”. I had completely forgotten about the previous conversation. Ask me if D did. Of course he didn’t.
So there we are, midbone when he whispers “I wanna cum in your mouth.” Ask me if I let him. Of course I did.
Or so I thought that is what I was doing. Before I knew it, this son of a bitch was busting. All over my face. Not just in my FACE but in my EYE as well. My open, virgin, unexpecting EYE! At first he stood there, all smirky face like he just conquered this mission. Until I was screaming about my fucking EYE burning from having a load sprayed in it. Ask me if he felt bad. Of COURSE he did! He was all in my business talking about “OMGAREYOUOKAY?!” “Can I help?” “Do you need some ice?”
Do. I. Need. Some. ICE?! I shot up from the bathroom sink, my one EYE all red and irritated from the little tadpoles that were rocket launched into it … the other EYE all red from the rage I felt in the pit of my stomach. “What I need from you … D … IS TO NOT SURPRISE MY EYE WITH A CUMSHOT!”
D: “I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Me: “Get out of my face right now.”
Hours later …
D: “I don’t think I liked cumming on your face. It felt kinda dirty.”
Me: “Oh you mean the suckercumshot?!”
D: “I told you I was sorry.”
Me: “Maybe I will surprise cum in YOUR eye next time. See how you like it.”
D: “Heh.”
Me: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
I may have been psychologically damaged from the event, but my EYE lived happily ever after.
Have you ever been unpleasantly surprised in the bedroom?
December 17th, 2009 at 02:14
LOL…that’s happened to me before…the dude was “pulling out” and he pulled out right at the second that he started to skeet, and he skeeted right in my fucking eye. It was red for about a day or so…it was fun trying to come up with a reason why I had ONE red eye!
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:07
“I swear it is not pink eye!” HAHAHAHA.
December 17th, 2009 at 04:47
OMG Courtni, that almost made me spit out my coffee. That was hilarious. My husband is way to “romantic” to cum on my face, but if he did I’m fairly certain I would sucker punch his ass.
LOL
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:22
HA! You aint missing much! I promise. HAHA!
December 17th, 2009 at 05:03
Hm, I definitely let guys I really liked cum on my face a few times, just to satisfy that inner porn star. I have nothing against it, except that it’s obnoxious to clean up. Sometimes I think it’s important just to let the guy feel manly…
As for eyeful of cum, though, totally have your sympathy. Once a guy came in my dang eye, but I ignored it and kept going for round two, like the champ I am. A few hours later, I looked at my eye and was like, “Holy mother, why is it flaming red?!” Uhhh, because there were little dudes swimming around, trying to impregnate it, it turns out…
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:26
I am a texture type of girl and I just cannot stand the feeling of that slimy mess on my face.
(Between you and me and the internet … it wasn’t my first time. HAH!)
… and they thought your pupil was in fact your egg. Those little buggars.
December 17th, 2009 at 06:07
You mean besides the time it went up my nose?
No.
LOL
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:27
HA HA HA !
December 17th, 2009 at 06:55
I’m so glad you surveyeved. I’ve had some real close experiences, but luckily the worst I’ve been through was when I had a knotted sticky head of hair, which I’d gladly take any day over the eye.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:27
You witty little minx!
I would rather that too.
December 17th, 2009 at 07:09
When The Missus gave me my first blow j, she tried to take a shot in the mouth.
She wound up in the bathroom near puking, and I just stood by the door and said,
“Do you want to use my toothbrush?”
I’m a hell of a guy.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:30
Yes you are.
December 17th, 2009 at 07:23
Ida killed him ded right there. D-E-D DED.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:30
lmfao.
December 17th, 2009 at 07:35
Someone once commented over at my place that this happened to them and they’ve had eye problems ever since.
COLOR ME TERRIFIED.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:32
OMG. LMFAO.
December 17th, 2009 at 08:00
OH man…I think I’m getting some kind of sympathy pink eye. Horrible, just horrible.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:35
Awww! Thanks for the sympathy. LMAO
December 17th, 2009 at 08:02
I don’t think so…I mean, not like that anyway. There’s always the occasional push against the wrong hole that makes me jumpy but no semen in my eyeballs. Yeesh.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:35
Leave it to D, right!?
December 17th, 2009 at 08:13
Heh, the one time I had an upleasant experience in the bedroom… I was alone…. and that story is one I’m taking to the grave.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:38
DAMNIT. That is unfair and you know it.
Anne Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 12:03
Privately, then. Just for you; because you’ll need the tequila to forget I ever told you.
December 17th, 2009 at 08:29
I swear the stories of D are eerily similar to some in my life.
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:39
Uhhh…..
December 17th, 2009 at 09:05
OMG…I think I just scared the whole library laughing. I have never had a guy cum on my face…only in the appropriate places lol
LivingWicked Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 09:39
Like titties and asscrack?
Amy Reply:
December 17th, 2009 at 10:48
I was thinking more mouth and vagina, but those will work too lol
December 17th, 2009 at 09:54
haha awesome story…..never tried to or really wanted to on my the wifey’s face, but one time I don’t know how it happened but as I was about to it slipped from her mouth and shot up in the air and bam right in my fucking eye. It does sting like a bitch. Perhaps thats why I’ve never felt the urge to?
December 17th, 2009 at 11:18
Never had that happen and my husband has never asked for that little adventure, you poor thing, I would have been really grossed out!!!
December 17th, 2009 at 14:26
I am sooo squeamish about my eyes (particularly cos i wear contacts) and if someone did this to me, they would not only feel my wrath, they’d feel their corneas on my frickin’ fingers. Squeamish or not…
December 17th, 2009 at 18:53
Never been unpleasantly surprised in the bedroom. This one time, in the shower though….Dan totally got cum in my hair. I still haven’t paid him back for that one. I will though. LOL
December 20th, 2009 at 23:06
omg hubby and i talked about anal sex early in our relationship because he was curious and was getting it more from me than he ever had before… ayup… and so he asks if i ever did it and i say ‘well yah, of course’ and he is like ‘well i never did’ and of course wants to know if we ever can and i say ’sure’ knowing that appropriate fair warning and a certain amount of prep work is involved (unless you are in the movies, and my ass most certainly is not) and he decides THAT night OUT.OF.THE.BLUE. in the middle of our “love making” er whatever to just pull out and try to stick it in my ass… and I am all “DUDE! WTF!?!?” and he’s all “you said i could try” umm… apparently he was absent the day they taught the anus is DRY in sex ed. Nerd. Boys are so dumb.
How was that for TMI?
December 30th, 2009 at 19:33
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