Living Wicked

For That, I am Grateful: 1

Dec 29, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Family, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, P.O.E. Biz, Parenting, Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love

After long and hard contemplation, I have decided to steal this kick ass blog idea from my souliest sister in the whole wide world. It is about to be a New Year … and I can’t think of a better way to end my year in blogging by talking about the things that make me grateful.

She is doing 26 Days of Gratefulness. Each day represents a letter filled with things that she is eternally grateful for. Of course more than half of these days made me cry like a fucking baby because that is what the hell I do when there is anything mush or moosh involved in it. But when she does it … it hits me even harder. (I will get to her later.)

Since I am late to the game, mine will be broken in 2. Wanna hear it hear it goes.

*deepoverlyemotionalbreath*

A is for Awesomeness. I am grateful that I have discovered and have embraced my own Awesomeness. For one, because it is Awesome to own your Awesomeness … but more importantly, it is Awesome to show others that they are in fact Awesome. And to help another Awesome human being to embrace their own Awesomeness … is … well … Awesome in it’s own right.

B is for Breath. Being able to stop to catch my own. It is also for Babysitters. The one that I stumbled upon in my time of need has been a fucking life saver. Even in her own time of crisis, she stood by me and made sure that no matter what I was able to focus on what I needed to do for my family to survive without worrying about my kids’ well being. She has become not only my Babysitter, but one of my Best friends. B is also for Book. Because in 2009, I published mine. I am so proud of my accomplishment. I started it. I finished it. It is quality. It is mine. My creation. If nothing else ever comes of it other than my Lulu self publishing endeavor … I will still see myself as a success. Would I love to be on the Bestseller’s list? Duh. B is for Blogging. I have no clue what I would do if I didn’t have my Blog space.

C is for Courtni. Yep. I am grateful for me. This year has been a roller coaster, but I have been able to do a lot of good for myself and my family. I lost 30 pounds. I started a kick ass SUCCESSFUL blog site with the help of my Numbah 1. I took a risk by starting this job … but am already seeing the potential successes. Courtni is a stronger woman than she has ever been. She loves herself for the first time ever 100%. Flaws, strengths… all of it. So then really, C is also for Confidence.

D is for D. His absence right now sucks, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love him so much that it hurts. He is an amazing dad. He takes care of me, puts up with me, listens to my endless fucking ranting and loves me unconditionally. Flaws and all. When I cry he knows when and when not to leave me alone. When I just feel like being a bitch … he lets me. (Even if that means ignoring me completely) When I need to be held or loved or smacked around a little (I am kidding) or even told about myself, he just knows. D is my polar opposite. I yell, he just talks. I over analyze, he thinks things through. I freak out, he rationalizes. When we make love it is Dynamic. When we fuck … it is Dirty. He knows which one is the right one. As much as I am his rock, he is mine. Which would make sense as to why we have been together a Decade.

E is for Elasticity. I have gained this quality in the past 48 days. When a bitch gets knocked down, there is no other option other than to bounce back. It is for Energy (the positive kind.) I have had (for the most part) an abundance of it around me over the past 2 months. My new found family especially. E is also for Ears. Without them, I would have had no one to listen to me yell. And I have done my fair fucking share of yelling.

F is for Friendship. I have gone from no Friends to many Friends. True, ride or die fucking Friends. Friends who will give their last slice of bread to my Family if we were hungry. Or at least split it in half. Coming from a childhood where I moved every single year from 4th grade to 9th grade … I didn’t really have many Friends that I knew were real. The ones who I have managed to hold on to for dear life, I am grateful for each of you. Lisa, Jennifer, Stephanie, Rachael, Tweed, Kim1&2, Lirra … even though we don’t always talk or kick it, I am beyond grateful that I have a piece of my past with you. I don’t know if I have ever told any of you how important it is to me that we have managed to keep in touch over the many many years. Friendship is the most important thing to me besides my Family. To me, they go hand in hand. If you are my true Friend … you are my Family. Plain and simple. Food is a big F for me. I heart me some food. All kinds. F is also for Fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason.

G is for Goals. I have set lofty ones for 2010. I am going to achieve all of them. Come hell or high water.

H is for Home. It is for Health. It is for Happiness. H is for Honor. It is for Heart. I am grateful that I have been blessed with life lessons to know and understand what each and every one of these mean and own each of them. I will be working on the Health and the Happiness more this next year … but I am almost there. Closer than I have ever been. That feels awesome.

I is for Insecurities. Yes. I am grateful for my Insecurities because that means that I am human. I is also for Internet. If there was no Internet, I would never have met my soul sisters. I would never have been able to purge my soul for all of you. I is also for Ice cream. Because sometimes, every single problem can be solved with a big fat bowl of Ice cream.

J is for Job. Why? Because for the first time in years I have a Job that I absolutely love. Who has a Job that they have a fucking blast at 97% of the time? I am grateful for my Job and (almost) everyone that I work with there.

K is for Karma. I believe in it. You fuck me, Karma is going to fuck you harder. K is for kids. MY KIDS. Bad, good … bratty, not bratty. I love them. They are the reason I endure all of the chaos. I cannot describe in a blog the depth of love that I have for my kids. My heart swells on a daily basis as I watch them grow and learn and experience … and become these amazing little creatures. My creatures. My creations. I don’t know where I would be without either of them in my life. Also, K is for Kisses. Not the chocolate kind. The sensual, lovey, frenchy kind. Ask me the last time I have been Kissed. G’head. I remember thinking shortly before D left that it felt like we didn’t Kiss enough. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Kisses. Gimme em.

L is for Love. Long Lasting Love. I Love Love. The idea of someone falling in Love with another person gets me all warm and tingly. To put it simply, I am in Love with Love. L is for Letters. I have received letters in the mail recently due to circumstances and they have kept me sane. I also think that L is for Longevity. Longevity in relationships, health, career … and Life. Because, L is also for Life. I am grateful for the Life I have been blessed with.

M is for Many Many Things. Music. Masturbation. Mommy’s. Motivation. Mayer. Martini. Marilyn Monroe. The most important thing? Music. Music saves me. If I need to be happy? Music. If I need a good cry? Music. If I need some panty dropping? Muuuuuuuusic. I need it in my life daily. Portishead. Natalie Merchant. Snoop. John Mayer. Poison. Alicia Keys. Elton John. Journey. Outkast. Sade. Aaliyah. John Legend. It all affects me the same but for different reasons.

List your A-M’s of gratefulness today. Take some time and remember what good we have been blessed with.

Tags: alicia keys, elton john, john legend, john mayer, journey, love, natalie merchant, outkast, poison, portishead, sade, snoop, www.squishisms.com