YGWM & Friday Eye Candy … NBA Styles
Nov 6, 2009 Current Events, Friday Eye Candy, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Ranteriffic, You've Got Wicked Mail
Happy Friday!
I am so happy that today is Friday. Like, SO. I have no preface, just open letters.
Dear Xavier,
Thank you. Seriously. I cannot wait to fucking cut all of your nasty ass afro into a sweet fade. I told you to take care of that shit, didn’t I? Now, I get to do with your hair as I will and the shorter the mofoing better.
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Dear Biggest Mistake of Tarable’s Life,
First of all: Quit walking around like you are all that. I may be half your size but I still am not the fucking one and I will not give in. Your man friend is really even not that big compared to your bigness and your big ego.
Second of all: Dont pretend like I am not there because you and I both know I AM there and dont try and bring my best friend ie sister from another mister on your team because she will never cosign or agree or tell you that you are right because you are not you are big fat black wrong.
Third of all: I pretty much said what I had to say without ever uttering a word to your stupid face. Furthermore, you got to see and more this magical beanstalk of a vagina and then you went and ruined it with your stupid ass stupidness. (i.e. your idea of a work flagpole panty display. you just showed the world that you are not really 40 something you are really 10 something.)
You will never in your life see, taste, finger, penetrate, smell, breathe, be an active part of my vagina. K?
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Dear Tarable,
I told you so.
Love D
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Dear Matt,
I whooped your ass today. Don’t try and front. It happened. The end.
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Dear Same Pants Guy,
I <3 you.
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Dear You,
Really? You are a trip. Whip it out already. Seriously.
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Dear Kanisha,
1) I cannot wait to spend most of my Saturday with your face in my face.
2) I <3 you.
3) Jax is not your man.
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Dear 5K Bitch,
You could have called me. We bonded. I was honest. You WANT that shit. But nooooooooooo you have to motherfucking avoid me. You do not have the balls to cancel. You would rather me assume than you admit that you decided against it. How motherfucking disrespectful, unprofessional and RUDE.
I would rather give that shit to someone else and not you.
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Dear D,
I have got your back. I will miss your face and also your big black cock.
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Annnnnnnnd (insert drum roll) the Friday Eye Candy
NBA Edition:
Done and done.
Have you ever had sex on your parents bed?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Do you believe in luck?
Tags: allen iverson, dwayne wayde, dwight howard, Friday Eye Candy, nba
November 6th, 2009 at 05:19
Yes.
Happy.
No.
Oh, look a short comment from me for once.
Have a good weekend.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:45
I love your comments. Short or long.
November 6th, 2009 at 05:28
Not with a partner. :-p
Better.
In luck, but not in coincidence.
HAPPY BASKETBALL SEASON!
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:45
Er… hahaha!
I did the BBall players for your pleasure.
November 6th, 2009 at 05:30
Have you ever had sex on your parents bed?yes
What do you want to be when you grow up?Wonderwoman, I STILL want to be her!
Do you believe in luck?yes I do, but I also believe that we can make our own luck, if we try hard enough!
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:46
Dirty girl.
I agree.
November 6th, 2009 at 05:50
Dear Dad,
It was great talking to you the other night for hours. I’m proud to be your son.
Dear Joel,
Getting in trouble for coloring outside the lines in kindergarten is your first lesson that the system wants to grind you down. Take your blue card and your punishment like a superhero. This is your first step to becoming even more awesome.
Girl on the other end,
I’m so much weirder than you think I am. You can’t gauge my thoughts based on the pattern of other men in your life. I’m something different entirely. And don’t expect me to come to your bed when you are drunk. That is not a proper invitation.
Dear Banjo,
You are my new love. When I hold you and put my fingers to your strings, you begin to sing your song sweeter and sweeter. i am growing more confident in my ability to make you happy.
Dear Courtni,
Your letters make me want to know what the fuck you are talking about. So many questions. Wicked wicked tease.
*My parent’s bed stopped being “their” bed when I was around 8. So no.
*Still have no idea what I want to be, but as indecision is a decision in itself, I have become whatever the hell I am.
I believe in luck the way I believe in god, chance, destiny, fate or any other name you want to throw at probability.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:47
Dear David,
I know. That is why I write them. And, I have been called worse.
November 6th, 2009 at 06:18
Yes
I dont know
Maybe??
Dear Warden:
GET OFF YOUR A** ANF DO SOMETHING! I cannot go to work all day, transport the kids, make dinner, clean the kitchen, fold your laundry all while you sit your A** on the couch ALL damn day, then expect me to just “give it up”. Come on! If you are at home all day, DO something! UGH…
Dear Business Bitch:
Shut the “F” up. You do NOT know everything! Period.
Dear Son:
You make me laugh and dont even know it. You are my best friend and I am dredding that this is your Senior year. Please dont ever leave!
Thanks for listening
Donna
DonnaY Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 08:00
Oh ya, not to mention I just had Major back surgery! I am NOT supposed to be doing all this and you know it!
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:48
Yeah, he needs to get the fuck up.
Awww the baby is leaving the nest. Are you freaking out?
DonnaY Reply:
November 9th, 2009 at 06:07
Yes, I am freaking out! I dont know what I will do! (insert sad face here)
And yes, the warden needs to do something. Working on Mondays does NOT count as a full time job! UGH!
November 6th, 2009 at 06:39
First of all, hell no, I’ll let you know when I figure it out, and maybe.
Dear Courtni,
Please gimme some Chris Andersen kthxbai.
Dear Friday,
Thank you for being you. I need sleepy time.
Dear my sister,
You are a dumb whore and if you don’t stop waking me the fuck up at 3am with the lights and bringing your boyfriend home, I might murder you in your sleep. It would be easy since you sleep all fucking day, due to the aforementioned NOT GETTING HOME UNTIL 3AM. Also? The basement is like, 2000 sq ft. Why did you feel the need to have your bed like thisclose to mine? Move away. Unlike you, SOME of us have jobs. You know, jobs that require us to get up before 9am, so I need you to shutup before I put a lock on the basement door. That shit is gonna get locked at 12 and if you’re not home, I don’t care where you sleep. AND TAKE SOME GODDAMN BIRTH CONTROL! Your boyfriend is 27 and lives at home, making minimum wage. The last thing you retards need is a kid.
Whew. Can you tell she’s getting on my nerves?
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:50
Okay Toribear I will give you your Chris Andersen.
<3
Um. I had no clue based on that letter. Thank you for clarifying.
Dear Tori,
I lurveyourfaceandwouldputmybedandyourbedtogethertomakeonebigbed.
November 6th, 2009 at 07:09
So I think that you should do a Mr Linky with this post each friday so people can link up. And yes that is selfish since you know I do the letters every friday. But I love you and so this is the only way I have possible to “link” to you. Naughty? no. Would it be better if it was naughty? *nod*
Have you ever had sex on your parents bed? Noooooooo! Ew.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Loved
Do you believe in luck? YES! Thank Bob for it cause otherwise, i’d be fucked
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:51
I am not doing a mr linky anything.
BigMamaCass Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 18:40
nnkay… why? did i miss something?
LivingWicked Reply:
November 7th, 2009 at 09:58
No I just don’t wanna.
BigMamaCass Reply:
November 7th, 2009 at 19:32
*frown*
November 6th, 2009 at 08:21
Never had sex on the parental bed.
I wanted to be an attorney once upon a time…and could still end my path that way. Right now, i love what I am doing…
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. A favorite quote of mine…Good happens, shit happens. Doors are closed and windows opened. It’s our job to NOT jump out the windows…and to find something good in our view.
Why are you going to be missing D’s….anything?
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:55
I love that quote.
November 6th, 2009 at 10:16
Nope.
Torn between Doctor and Teacher once again.
Luck… sure.
Heeeeelllloooo basketball….
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:56
November 6th, 2009 at 10:21
1. Once, yes.
2. Happy.
3. Nope.
Where’s D going? o.0
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:56
to a land far far away.
Jaime Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 17:00
]:
LivingWicked Reply:
November 7th, 2009 at 09:59
Tell me about it.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:19
1. No. My parents and sex in the same thought is a creep-out boundary I cannot cross. Paint me purple and call me wimp if you must.
2. I wanna be a cowboy. And you can be my cowgirl. LOL
3. I think I believe in Fate more than Luck. I once got a great job because I walked into the wrong building (and the building the interview was in was one where I’d been many times before so I really don’t know how I futzed that up), went to the appropriate floor for the interview that I was supposed to go to, and inadvertantly found that there was an office there desperate for someone who knew programs that I knew. One of the best jobs I ever had. Totally by happenstance. Or Fate. Or Luck.
Buzzardbilly Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 11:19
PS: You still have an award at my place from days ago.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 11:52
I know I just cannot view your blog at work. For some reason (and I am not questioning it) I can see my blog but that is about it. I plan on catching up this weekend.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:56
Color me ass-end confused! I must be having a rip-roaring time in the Land of the Orange Sky.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:57
I will explain later.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:38
No.
Respected.
Good fortune… not coincidence.
Things happen for a reason…
Dear clients dragging their feet.
I hatechoo an you make my life hell and wreak havoc with my sense of security which wreaks havoc with my home. Getcherass in gear already.
Dear Deadguythat gifted my child with fucked up genes.
If it were possible I’d wish you were alive so I could reverse time, extract your genes from my child and then kill ya my damn self.
What you did to this child is NOT ok and the last few weeks have left me in tears not knowing if she’ll even survive what you did to her. you KNEW you had ducked up issues and INTENTIONALLY passed that bullshit on to another generation. FUCK YOU.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:57
I am sorry that you are back to struggling with her.
I know she was doing so good. I will try and catch you online this weekend.
November 6th, 2009 at 15:33
oh how the pic of michael at the end makes me smile
LivingWicked Reply:
November 6th, 2009 at 16:57
Me too.
November 6th, 2009 at 18:51
Dear SafewayAlbertsonsFredMeyersETCandALLOFTHEABOVE.
I fucking hate you bastards. What part of “BBQ Kielbasa” do you not motherfuckingunderstand? What part of “NINE MONTHS PREGNANT WITH A CRAVING” do you not motherfuckingunderstand? At this rate, I want five pounds of that shit just to keep it in the freezer for the next time the craving comes up between now and the next 23 days. My baby needs MEAT. Not steak but bullshit fatty, greasy, bbq kielbasa from your fucking nasty ass deli MEAT. I WANT. If I go into one more store and find out that “WE DON”T MAKE IT EVERY DAY, or SORRY WE DON’T HAVE THAT,” A FAT PREGNANT BITCH IS GOING TO CRY. GOING TO. I will sooo fucking throw myself down kicking and screaming over this shit. Like, it took everything I had to not let the damn tears roll on my way out of FredMeyer’s today. The crab salad, oatmeal cookies and garlic bread are the only thing that saved your ass. *cry*
Dear Teacher and Principal. Thank you for putting him on the spot like that. He super enjoyed himself. Seeing him smile like that MADE MY DAY. I give him so much MORE than she ever could have. I give him the shit that he didn’t know he even needed and some shit he knew he did need but never would have gotten, like RESPECT and renewed PRIDE. and that rocks my motherfuckingsocksoff. <3
LivingWicked Reply:
November 7th, 2009 at 10:00
oooooooooooooooooooh.