YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Nov 20, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Friday Eye Candy, You've Got Wicked Mail, bitch
Yo. I am beyond exhausted. So, happy motherfucking Friday. Purge your weekly bullshit so that you can go and thoroughly enjoy your weekends. K? K.
Dear Loyal Blog Readers,
I am really sorry that I have been inconsistent with the commenting. I will be back to normal soon. I promise. Thanks for sticking around.
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Dear You,
Yeah so what. I lied. I still do want to see it.
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Dear Tarable,
HA! HA! You will thank me later.
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Dear D,
Really? YOU are going to have a panic attack?!
Psh.
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Dear Bitch on the Phone Tonight,
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?! If I could have come through my motherfucking cell phone and ripped your face off of your skull I would have.
Talk to me like that again. I dare you. I MOTHERFUCKING DARE YOU.
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Dear Business Partner,
We are gonna DO WORK. And it is gonna pay the fuck off.
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Dear Kids,
I miss you guys. Lots.
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Now. YOU GO. Purge. DO IT!
Last and most certainly not least … Friday Eye Candy …
Shemar Moore
Eva Longoria
Tags: eva longoria, shemar moore
November 20th, 2009 at 04:24
Dear Bank,
Thanks for bouncing my car payment. I am never ever late with this payment. Others yes, this never. I am never overdrawn in this account. Yet you raised your bank fees without telling me and bounced my payment because you made me short…drum roll please…88 fucking CENTS. Then you charged me a $45 NFS fee. Go F yourself Bank!
Dear Uncle and car loan co-signer,
I’m sorry you were notified by the bank instead of me. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Instead of getting the facts, or you know, calling ME, you called my Grandmother and made her cry. She’s 83!! And I was short 88 cents!! Come the fuck on. After that you felt it necessary to activate the phone tree of relatives, slandering me and discussing my personal business. Go F yourself. If I didn’t need this car to get to work, I would sell it right now.
Dear other relatives,
It took 4 days for someone to think “maybe we should tell Keri?” really???
Dear 88 cents,
I hate you.
April Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 06:51
pleeeeeeeeeease tell me you talked to someone in upper management at your bank and calmly explained that most banks have a policy of not charging for tiny overdrafts like that and that you request for them to reverse the NSF fees and make your account right. Else? You go to a different bank. This usually works. Trust me. Also? Credit Unions are like a million gajillion times better in customer relations than banks so if you are leaving I highly recommend.
Just my cents.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:41
Yes. Call the bank. That is fucking BULLSHIT.
November 20th, 2009 at 05:25
I need to be the squishy inside of a Shemar/Eva sammich. I have a desperate need to eat caramel off both their tummies… *ahem*
Just sayin.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:41
Yeah the both of them are hot to mfing trot.
November 20th, 2009 at 05:27
Shemar Moore…..you put him in here just for me didn’t you?????? lol
I don’t have any letters today!
just….droooooool
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:42
Kind-of.
November 20th, 2009 at 06:48
My sentiments exactly, Cassie. hah. Droooool
Dear Wicked:
I’ve been in a shitty mood for the last week. Well year, really. But especially this last week. I don’t feel like talking to anybody. My best friend, the one I thought would be there forever and ever, had some personal shit explode in her life and I have been abandoned ’cause of it. So I’m broken and also really fucking mad. So I’ve withdrawn from everybody. I’ve had just ’bout damn enough of people walkin’. So I haven’t been commenting but I wanted you to know the poems you put up are beautiful. It’s likely the trend of not commenting will carry on for a while but I’m still here, lurking in the background. I just need time.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:44
Well snap out of it.
I am here if you need.
November 20th, 2009 at 06:58
Dear Baby. Instead of a pain in my ass (which you are), you will forever be known as a pain in my crotch. You know, secretly between me and your daddy.
Dear Uterus. You are fucking killing me. WTF is up with this contraction bullshit? 12 minutes, 18 minutes, 7 minutes, 11 minutes, 20 minutes, 5 minutes. You are a BITCH and I fucking hate you. One day….one day…you are going to be ripped the fuck OUT because I am O.V.E.R. YOU!@!
Dear Mom. The reason I ASKED you if SHE was going to be there for Thanksgiving was to make sure that you had someone to be there, cause, well, I don’t really want to be if she is, but I know you need someone. Obviously, considering the fact that you ASSUMED that I would just be there, with no mind to her fugly crackwhoreface, I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to give birth THAT DAY, just so I had a good excuse. Even if I have to wait THAT damn long to do it. Even if I give birth Wednesday….I’ll still be there Thursday night. Believe me, I’ll see to it. We can ‘give thanks’ any friggen day, and should EVERY day….so it doesn’t really matter to ME!
Dear Me. You need to pump your brakes, cause in a minute, you’re going to be done with the damn Christmas tree skirt and you’re going to have to come up with some other creative project to consume your everlovingtime because you are STILL going to be PREGNANT and miserable.
Dear Dan. Thank you. I’m THE most thankful for you. And sex. I’m pretty certain that not too many guys would do the shit for me that you do, including the whole givemesixorgasmsandstillnotgetoffbecauseofthemedication shit. I’m glad she lost you…and that we met. Because we really did need eachother. Also, I know I’m pregnant and done and hyper emotional right now. Thanks for just holding me while I cry and freak the fuck out. It means a lot. You’d probably ‘get it’ if I explained it, but I’m not gunna. I love you.
Dear MrMidwife. When I said you could break my water and I wouldn’t tell anyone you did it, I was NOT FUCKING ASKING. I WAS DEMANDING. Obviously you are used to dealing with bitchy, cunty, fat, pregnant women….but I AM THE MOTHERFUCKINGBOSS here. Get this baby the hell out of me NOW. Like two days ago NOW. I hope the next pregnant woman you see today barfs all over you and your yamaka.
Stephany Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:27
Dear USNavy. You fucking SUCK. 1-for making me cry. 2-for making him take leave days because he doesn’t qualify for paternity leave because we aren’t fucking married. Time and time again it’s because of MARRIAGE. He IS married. Just not to ME. You contribute grossly to the divorce rate ya know!! Your basically forcing sailors to get married and it’s wrong. You and your ‘rules’ can go for a long trip to sea and SINK. It’s not that I don’t WANT to marry him, it’s just that I CAN’T! I told him not to take the leave days. That I will be FINE by myself…but I still feel like I will be alone. It would be easier if he just wasn’t here at all. If he was deployed and there wasn’t an option. If I didn’t love him and I was just some random fling. But I’m not. Thanks for making the situation even worse. AND upsetting me. You guys who make the ‘rules’ are a bunch of fudgepackingfaggots.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:44
Woah.
You okay?
Stephany Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 17:39
Yes and no. I’m upset. It’s not right. And it seems, after a little research, that Single sailors across the board feel that way. The idea behind the change allowing Navy peeps the paternity leave is because a lot of those guys aren’t going to be around so they are giving them the opportunity to bond with their children. Unfortunately, they seem to be under the impression that it is only important for MARRIED fathers. What they don’t take into account is the fact that it is children who’s parents are NOT married, that need that bond even MORE. Statistics have shown time and time again that children with absent fathers or father like figures are the ones who are the most burdonsome on society….yet they are DENYING that bonding time. Clearly, they are not focusing on the Father/Child relationship as they so claim, or they would take that into account. And for christsake, it’s his FIRST CHILD. We are stable. He’s not humping 15 other girls making 15 other babies. He’s lucky that he HAS leave time still and didn’t take it for other things, like when I was in the hospital, or when we were moving. That’s not the point though. ALL new fathers should be given the same opportunity to bond with their children….especially since there are mothers out there that wouldn’t allow it, fathers who choose not to give a fuck. He is here. He gives a fuck. And his superiors KNOW IT. It’s not right. And as soon as I find out where to direct my voice….A bitch is gunna use it. It probably won’t change anything, and it will probably fall on deaf ears….but someone, somewhere, will care and maybe benifit from it later, even if we get F’ed in the A now.
November 20th, 2009 at 07:33
Nice eye candy pics for today. I think I’ll jump in there and be the cheese in Squishy’s sammie.
Dear Wicked,
I miss you. Like really a lot. Seriously.
Dear Mister,
Give it up. If you’re going to be here you might as well make yourself useful. Now please.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:44
Then what am I? The tomato?
Squish Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 15:02
definitely not the mayo… *giggle*
November 20th, 2009 at 08:01
Dear Kitty mer mer,
I’ve had you for 11 years, and you were just always there in the background. Now you are not eating, and I am worried sick. Taking you to the vet on Monday, hopefully it’s an easy fix. But I’m not holding my breath. I guess I am in shock at the thought of you dying. You’ve been here for 11 years, no worries for me. I’m afraid to let go.
Dear S.
My cat is probably dying and you can’t get your head outta your own ass long enough to realize that I need a little comforting. Oh and this constant complaining bullshit is getting ridiculous. Does it have to be all the time, about every fucking little thing. Even when I’m trying to tell you a story, you interject with stupid unneccesary shitty comments. If you don’t say or do something nice for me soon, (and work and school does not count on this one, because I do every fucking thing else) I am going to hurt you.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
ugh. Thank you, I think I’m better now.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:52
November 20th, 2009 at 08:27
Dear Courtni~
Thanks for Shemar Moore per my request. I love you for that!!!
Dear Bitches at POE:
I am not gonna take your shit anymore…guess what…took it above your head…to Your boss and to HR….Weazel outta it NOW! HA!
There could be lots more, but I will stop with that.
Loves~ Donna
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:52
You are welcome honey.
November 20th, 2009 at 08:35
Dear Coffee,
Why are you not keeping me awake!? You’re supposed to! I gotta quit this yawning crap.
Dear Wicked,
We’re all ok with your inconsistent commenting. We <3 you, and therefore we understand.
-A Loyal Blog Reader
Dear Snoopy,
Thank you for just shoving yourself up under my feet just now, I needed the love and the doggy foot rest. Now I'm gonna pet you.
-Dr. Dre
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 14:53
I <3 you too!
November 20th, 2009 at 12:41
Um, which business partner are you talking to?
Because if it’s me, then YES.
If not…still YES.
<3
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 16:33
YES but no but YES.
November 20th, 2009 at 13:12
Whats Tarables excus?, And Yeah-YUH! Nice email today….LOL.
Tarable Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 13:37
Dear Donkey Kong,
No excuse! I am awesome so either accept it or GET OVER IT!
Love,
Tarable
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 16:34
REALLY!?!?
November 20th, 2009 at 13:38
Dear Business Partner,
I an nervous, anxious and scared to fail…….
I will get over it…..
Let me rephrase that! I HAVE to get over it!
DO OR DIE TIME!
Tarable
LivingWicked Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 16:34
You will get over it.
November 21st, 2009 at 11:23
Dear water,
It’s just you and me now. Thanks for being there when I need you. It has begun.
Dear Eval guys at work,
You weren’t as hard on me as I expected, although I still don’t think you have any idea of what I do or how I do it. Almost everything said to me in that room was stupid or ignorant. But whatever. At least no one is going to try and destroy me with your feeble abilities.
November 23rd, 2009 at 16:55
EVA! Come home to papa! HAHAHA.
November 26th, 2009 at 15:37
TARA’S MEAN HUH?!?!
Come visit!!!!!!!!!
November 30th, 2009 at 22:10
to the photos of Eva and Shemar? I say this… nomnomnomnomnomnom!