Comments on: YGWM & Friday Eye Candy

By: Just A Girl

Just A Girl — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:10:22 +0000

Dear Courtni,

THANK YOU! I love that man and I’m going to watch him play in 3 1/2 hours so that’s exciting for me.

Dear Chris Andersen,

Let’s have sex. Dirty, rough, sweaty sex. Like tonight. Kthxbai.

Dear Courtni (again),

No seriously, I love your face off and I’m sorry about the jail thing. I really hope I can swing the money to come visit.

Dear People I Work With,

Please stop doing stupid things.

By: Stephany

Stephany — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:19:55 +0000

Ohyeah- and PfuckingS – Everett Municipal can suck a big fat one. Not only did we have to wait TWO HOURS in the court room….but we also had to sit through a mini trail full of russians and their interpretors. I almost shoved an ice pick in my own ear. I had to pee soooooooo bad when we got out of there. AND my ass hurt from their uncomfortable church like pew seating.

By: I

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:17:18 +0000

Dear nose. You can stop bleeding on the daily basis at any fucking time. I’m over you and your too close the the surface capillaries that spurt at random. All over my shirt. Or nightie. It is NOT a fashion statement to have a tissue stuffed up your nose while you’re driving down I-5 mid nose bleed. Fuck you nose.

Dear bitch who has to tell his ex everything. HA!HA!. You didn’t get a response, didja?! What was that, like the third time you’d asked about us and our baby and you were ignored? Guess you should have kept your mouthacocksuckin instead of running it to the wrong person. P.S. you can keep your want-want-to-charge-me handmedowns. A bitch has got it covered and STILL spent less than you would have charged. Ask me about your $50 play gym that I got for TWO DOLLARS. Better yet, don’t talk to me. Ever. Or else, it might get bloody.

Dear NotsomuchmySIL. Don’t even be tempted to show your face bitch. It will be ON like saturday morning cartoons.

Dear Daughter. Just because you have the swine flu, doesn’t mean I’m going to keep coddling you once you are better. So hurry up and GET BETTER, cause I’m kinda over this catering to you shit. Love mom.

Dear Cervix. Take a fucking clue from that old Mervyn’s commercial. OPEN, OPEN, OPEN.

Dear Anesthesiologist. I’ll take that epidural. NOW. Mkaythanks.

By: I

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:58:43 +0000

Dear Squishiepoo, I’m pretty sure your ass will look sexy has hell no matter how many cupcakes you force into your bikini bottom. A little voice in my head says “I’d hit it”. I also think you might have been offended had someone brought you ‘lowfat’ or ‘diet’ cupcakes. There’s just no winning. Love you.

By: Squish

Squish — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:54:36 +0000

Dudes 1 AND 2 who brought me cupcakes today:

Um. Wow. Dude #1, I get it. I have mentioned lately that I want cupcakes. German Chocolate ones with Cocunut icing to be specific. And I WAS specific. I wanted those cupcakes SPECIFICALLY.

I understand I told you life pretty much sucks right now and wouldn’t give you details. I understand that hurts your tender little girl feelers, and you want me to spill my metaphorical guts to you – But. It. Is. Never. Gonna. Happen.

Also – I am trying to change my eating habits. This, naturally, limits the amount of cupcake a girl can eat. But you, again, didn’t bother to ask me if I WANTED generic dried out cupcakeS from the grocery store bakery up the street – so now I am stuck with them. SIX of them.

I have SEVEN MONTHS til my wedding. At which I plan to wear a bikini. This is common knowledge. Put two and two together and see what it equals. I garauntee you it ain’t fucking cupcakeS.

Dude #2 – I understand you are appreciative of my assistance today. Really. I understand that you and I have discussed my love for all thing dark, chocolate, and cake-y, but again – ASK A GIRL BEFORE JUST BUYING HER RANDOM DESSERTS!

FattyFatFat

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Also, Dude #1?

Fuck you. I am not your shoulder to cry on. I do not care that you fucked up your financial future. I care that you wasted almost two hours of PAID TIME to do it. And and extra 45 minutes whining to me about it. So you didn't finish your work. So I had to. AND I HAVE MY OWN SHIT GOING ON. My own financial stresses…like, oh, I dunno – planning a wedding on ONE paycheck. Fuck off.

Your Bitchy, Spite-filled Coworker.

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Dear "Customers" everywhere

YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE CUNT. Take a second, replace a bit of that entitlement with an ounce of compassion and understanding and maybe, just maybe the economy will start functioning again. Pay for what you want. Do not expect a discount when things fuck up. They didn't give you onions on purpose. They didn't miss your export maliciously. Fuck ups happen. They aren't on purpose. Be gracious. Stop whining. We are all just people trying to pay our bills. THAT is all that matters. The people who get paid to provide you with a service could also be YOUR customer.

For example, there are very specific car companies I will never buy from – just because they are whiney, bitchy, entitled douchebags. Oh, and bet your ass noone I know will – either. Shit stinks for a lot longer than the amount of time it takes to say "I understand, no worries."

Thanks,
AnotherCustomer

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Dear Wicked,

I love you and will stop blogging on your blog now.

RAWR!

By: shorty

shorty — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:08:12 +0000

Dear f@#kface that I should NEVER have married,
Yep! I said it. NEEEVVEERRR! If you ever try to put me or my dearest people in a spot like you did last night, I can not promise that I wont choke you out! I am done making up excuses as to why you are the way you are. Furthermore, you’re lazy. Get the fuck up in the morning. Get a fucking job! I don’t care if its slinging your dick in front of some old woman’s nasty face…or holding a sign for the new homes being build..or asking if you’d like some fries with that order..SHOW ME THE MONEY! You are 30 years old and have 2 kids. BE A MAN. Oh, and that whole Dec. 5 deadline thing is no joke.

Dear Courtni,
Thanks for letting me purge! that felt really good. Oh, and red shoes are the sexiest thing in the world. That B is a jealous hater! xo

By: justjp

justjp — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:01:14 +0000

Rhianna,

I would lick your ass…thats how hot you are!

Oh, and it is casual sex Friday!

By: Cassie

Cassie — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:56:14 +0000

Dear Jody,

I love you woman! Y’all continue to be in my thoughts!

Always,
Cassie

By: Jaime

Jaime — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:55:38 +0000

Dear Pain,
I won’t let you get the best of me. I’ll defy you at every turn forever. I’ll make you work hard to keep me down, and harder still to fool me twice. I’ll use you to better myself and throw you away when I’m done.

Watch out.
Jaime

By: DonnaY

DonnaY — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:28:59 +0000

Do you talk to yourself?
All the time!!

If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?
Prob around 1994…when I met the warden….I know you understand!

Name one thing you never worry about running out of?
Love from my kids…awwwwww

Dear Bitch at POE:
Stop hovering! Stop pointing fingers in ONE direction.
Next time you do, I will call you out. I have held my tounge for so long now I am ready to burst, so watch out!!

Dear other Bitch at POE:
You can glare all you want……UP YOURS!
And STOP your stupid, fake ass laugh that fills the whole office.
I hear you right now and wanna slap the shit out of you!

Dear Hottie at POE:
The hug yesterday was UNBELIEVABLE! I have placed it in my mental rolodex for later usage. Thank you sir, may I please have another?
OOOhhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaaaa!

Dear Warden:
Again, GET OFF YOUR ASS!!!
I am tired, please help a little!

Ok, thats it for now, I think…..we will see how today goes!
Donna