YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Nov 27, 2009 All Things Charli, Etc., Friday Eye Candy, Friendship, Ranteriffic, You've Got Wicked Mail, bitch
Happy BLACK Friday! You know what? FUCK Black Friday. I would rather shoot myself in the face than stand in line to have to fight a bitch for the last Dora backpack. Does it look to anyone like I want to catch a case over a Christmas gift?
Um no.
I already have issues with people in public who have ZERO ETIQUETTE. Why would I lose sleep to deal with these jack holes? Why would anyone?
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Now lets get on with it. Just like every week … come purge your week (maybe this week includes dysfunctional family blow outs over turkey dinner) so that you can thoroughly enjoy your extended weekends.
Dear Ella,
Thank you for the adorable outfits. I will try really hard not to get any of my cheeseburger on that white Puma jacket.
Love Charli
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Dear Maddie,
The pink boots you gave me are my favorite. I wear them with pajamas, naked, and at more appropriate times too. I don’t want to wear any other shoes. Just my pink rain boots. It drives my mom crazy, especially when I put them on myself on the wrong feet and then trip myself and almost bust my face on the coffee table. I can’t wait to play in a couple of weekends.
Love Charli
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Dear Tarable,
I am beyond proud of you.
1) For taking your time with this one.
2) For not giving up on yourself.
3) For being realistic and rational.
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Dear YOU,
I cant decide which is more funny: how in love you are with me or how much in denial you are about it.
LEMMESMELLYADICK
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Dear 4 pounds,
It’s cool. You will be gone next week. I am on a mission and your visit was 1) not invited and 2) not welcomed.
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Dear D,
Thank you for finally getting it.
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Dear Vagina,
I get it and I am sorry. Truly sorry. Please don’t divorce me.
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Dear Charli,
You are going to start getting popped square in the mouth if your backtalk continues. I would like to remind you of a couple of key points:
1) I am not the one.
2) I AM the mommy.
3) “No” doesn’t fly.
4) Yelling what you want at me (“I WANNNNNNNNT MORE JUIIIIIIIIIIICE!”) is not motherfucking going to get you a damn drop of anything.
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And now for our eye candy!
Lenny Kravitz
Emmanuelle Chriqui
Do you have any holiday traditions?
Real tree or fake tree?
November 27th, 2009 at 01:31
I’ll answer backwards… fake tree … we have pretty poor examples of fresh over here plus it’s so hot cos it’s summer so there is a lot of maintenence and watering and what not required to keep it fresh through Christmas.. I can’t be bothered really…
Christmas Traditions… 1st December, put on Christmas Carols and decorate the house, tree etc.
I also bake all the biscuits for Christmas – Shortbread, Spice Cookies and a traditional Polish biscuit that is deep fried… This year I am also thinking about trying my hand at a Christmas cake…
Christmas Eve I spend at Mum’s so I don’t wake to an empty house… then breakfast with Dad’s side of the family and lunch with Mum’s… Boxing day is mine and mine alone…
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 15:59
What kind of Christmas cake?
Kylie Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 22:54
Fruit cake where the fruit has been soaked in lots of alcohol.. dark and rich yum..
November 27th, 2009 at 02:42
Perrin keeps trying to find reasons to wear his snow boots from last year. I’m hoping this means they still fit, but I doubt it.
He’s yelling and back-talking a storm, too! He’s also doing an adorable little “Hmph” complete with crossed arms and turning of head…. that gets him absolutely nowhere. Oh, and the moments that he tells me, “Perrin so mean.” and tells me how he’s so mean when I ask. the last time, he chose to be “so mean” by not lying down for nap time. So when he tried to get a kiss from me a second later I told him, “I don’t kiss mean boys.” That turned his lil ass around pretty quick.
Fake tree; it’s ingrained in me from childhood. Keith grew up with real trees and total drama. Fake seems to work for him now. Go figure!
Traditions…A lot of our family traditions have shifted since the little guy came into our lives. We’ve made this unspoken choice to make the holidays all about him and it’s so much more fun. Next weekend he has breakfast with Santa. The past couple years, Santa freaked him out so we’ve been running massive campaigns for months now; recently followed up with the more spiritual aspects of the baby Jesus. It’s a trip to hear a two year old make connections between himself and the baby Jesus — both have a Mommy and a Daddy; both are babies (sorta).
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 16:01
I <3 alllllllllllllllll of this.
November 27th, 2009 at 04:17
*gasp*. I think I have no rants….errr…open letters this week. I would have LIKED to have sex last night. or even the night before. He’s going to be in a sorry state for 4-6 weeks. Heh.
I talked to my mom last night for two hours on the phone. My grandfather, who had triple bypass years and years ago…he’s dying. She said there is a 7 cm balloon of blood on his heart. It’s inoperable. He’s been to four doctors now. If he over does it at all, his heart will basically explode. They can’t even say how long he has now because they can’t believe he’s still alive. It sucks.
I’m finally going to pick up the car seat in a few hours. Fuck my sister is a douche waiting for the LAST possible minute to get it to me.
Anyway….we are having a real tree this year. As an adult, I have only had fake trees. I listened to my mom bitch way too many years about the friggen needles….but Dan wants a real tree. So we are buying lights and a tree stand in a couple of weeks. It will probably make me sneeze. A lot. We’ll see.
This is a year of new traditions. Well, in between new traditions. More will be created when we go to CA I suppose. This year is more about finding our niche. We are still going to spend xmas eve with my mom’s family on Magnolia. And we’ll probably make gingerbread houses still. That’s about all we really do.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 16:02
You get to give BJs. HA!
I am sorry about your gpa.
November 27th, 2009 at 07:10
Dear Child of mine,
see above on back talk, copy and paste.
a.It’s pretty embarrassing that you don’t give a goddamn where you are when you start acting a fool with me over swim practice. You made a commitment, you need to build up your muscles with low risk of injury, swim team is the way to go to get back on the ball for track. That is the reality, deal with it.
b. the other reality is that your father is not here and he would GO OFF on you if you spoke with me the way you do in front of him. If I go off you think it’s time to start having an argument and I can’t go to jail for smacking you so hard you fall on your ass.
c.I am not your enemy, and if you spent some goddamn time on your hair instead of doing a quick brush and assuming you are good, I wouldn’t have to harp on you every goddamn day about it.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 16:03
I feel like this is my conversation with Xavier … only insert boy stuff.
Damn kids.
November 27th, 2009 at 08:12
Dear Ex Husband,
Back the fuck off.
Dear four year old twins,
I don’t speak whinease.
Dear Ex Boyfriend,
I really didn’t feel you all that much. I liked the size of your dick but then found out your lazy and don’t know how to use it properly…p.s. you need lessons on pussy eating.
Dear Seven year old son,
You are perfect and I love you. Your the best boy EVAR.
Dear Mom,
Get the fuck outta my business. I don’t want to hear shit about how you have to keep contact with my ex because he is the father of my children. Hello! I am the Mother of said children and can make your life so much worse with out my cooperation. Just sayin’
Dear Sister,
I am sorry you have to go through this surgery. I promise to be there as much as I can.
If I could walk around all day with a bubble hanging over my head today it would say “Fuck You”…end rant…wheew I feel much better
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 16:04
HAH! @ “I don’t speak whinease”
November 27th, 2009 at 09:03
dear ex, asking NOW to reduce child support is shitty. end of story.
dear hormones…where the hell did YOU come from? sheesh…
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 16:05
Fucking hormones. I have had a bout with them bitches recently too.
November 27th, 2009 at 15:44
I’ve never had a real tree but really really want one.
My work (we warehouse the food for Walmart BTW), is nauseatingly into corporate culture. Anyways, they have five xmas trees in our front lobby to bring cheer and joy or some shit. I saw them today as I was on my way home. They looked real, so I turned back and felt them up. Yup. Real trees. I remember that real xmas trees smell amazing, so I bent my face over to a branch to take a whiff. As I was smelling up the tree my boss walked by. LOL. He didn’t bat an eye. Obviously my reputation speaks for itself.
Hope you had a good Thanksgiving, girl!
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 16:06
I think we are doing fake this year… Except when I was leaving RiteAid last night, I saw this itty bitty one for $10 and I kinda want it because the real tree smell is irreplaceable.
November 27th, 2009 at 17:02
Dear Older People who are Related to Me,
That will be the last holiday I will celebrate with you. Period. Your ignorance does not fly well in my eardrums. You’re all embarrassing to dine with, and you’re all batshit insane. Can’t any of you let anything go? Seriously, just ignore it… Thanks for making me leave my dad at home all by himself on Thanksgiving, you all can kiss dirty ass.
Signed,
Someone who doesn’t wanna hear it anymore.
Dear Rest of the Family,
Way to go on getting everyone to split up this year and sticking me and my mom with all the old people. Brava. Fuck you guys too.
BLAH!
We do a fake tree, my mom’s always wanted a real one… i still don’t know why we haven’t gotten one.
Well, we used to have traditions… but they all just got fucked in the ass by the rest of the family. So I’m guessing putting up the lights outside/putting up the tree on Sunday with hot cocoa and Christmas music sounds like a plan.
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 20:35
It sounds like a new tradition maybe?
November 27th, 2009 at 17:30
Dear new MAN,
You were totally unexpected. Like you blindsided me. It scares me to think that someone will actually treat me like I should be treated. I will let my walls down I promise. Thank you for being you. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen.
Dear Tara,
DON’T BLOW IT! You deserve to be treated right. Your baggage is legit, but not every man is an evil cock sucker. People do have NORMAL non abusive relationships every day.
Dear Boss 1 & 2,
Thank you both for being rad and giving me the opportunity of a lifetime. I will work my hardest to constantly improve, not only for myself, but because I respect both of you two and think you deserve a hardworking employee. Both you know I AM NOT AN ASS KISSER! I just thought you should know.
Dear Parking Nazi,
Really? I was only there for 10 minutes! I didn’t even see the mother loving sign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Inner Fat Girl,
I know I let you out, but now you need to go away! I am locking away the key and not telling you where I am hiding it! No matter how much stuffing you put in-front of me face!
LOVE TARABLE!
LivingWicked Reply:
November 27th, 2009 at 20:44
*waves a single bite of stuffing under your nose*
You are NOT an ass kisser. More of an ass licker.
November 30th, 2009 at 22:23
Doesn’t she play Sloan on Entourage? She is HAWWWWWWT!