I Spy an Ass Whoopin.
Nov 17, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, I WIN!, P.O.E. Biz, Ranteriffic, Suck It!, The Tarably Wicked Show, bitch
Happy Hump Day!
How goes it? What is new?
Life is hectic. I am missing 1/2 of me. He has taken a trip that has left us all kinda in limbo for a 90 day period. Read between the lines. If you know anything about me, you will get it. Furthermore, I am financially fucking strapped. My new job kicks all sorts of ass (i.e. me and Tarable kicking our bosses asses on a consistent basis) but like I have said before, it is slow to start money-wise. Therefore, I am creatively surviving. If you know of any ways to make money (other than selling my pretty vagina which again if you know anything about me I am not necessarily opposed to, given the circumstances) and legitimately please let me know. Thanks.
Moving on.
What is most awesome about my job is the limitless fun we have. Granted, there are a couple of people that I would absolutely LOVE to 1) punch in the face and 2) see get fired or 3) quit but that goes with any job.
Especially MakesHerOwnClothes broad. That bitch has no clue. None. She consistently assumes that I am in fact the motherfucking one when I am actually NOT the one. Like, so not the one that it isnt even funny. She runs around thinking she is so fucking great, when in all honesty, she is so far from great that it is comical.
It took me everything not to fuck her up on Monday. Why do ignorant people get to pull off the dumbest fucking things and GET AWAY WITH IT?!
Example: I am mid conversation when she runs up and elbows me out of the way, INTERRUPTS my conversation only to start a conversation with the person I was having a motherfucking CONVERSATION WITH.
Um. Really?
1) I was in front of the HR office.
2) I need my job.
3) It would be kinda silly to beat her ass in the middle of my place of employment.
Even thought I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally fucking wanted to. Like, R E A L L Y.
/sigh.
It sucks being an adult sometimes. Given my temper. Given my complete and total gangsterness that pumps through my veins on a daily motherfucking basis.
Sometimes. I. Just. Want. To. Freely. Beat. The. Shit. Out. Of. Stupid. Bitches.
She is lucky that I have 2 little baby bird’s mouths to feed. She is also really lucky that I respect my bosses and value their opinions as much as I do. This takes me back to my blog about adulthood and how sometimes it would really be nice to have a free punchabitchintheface card. Or a day a year where you can just punch people freely in the face and have absolutely NO consequences.
Who is with me?
I motherfucking thought so.
Who would YOU like to punch in the face right now?
When is the last time you played the air guitar?
What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Have you ever called out the wrong name while having sex?
November 18th, 2009 at 00:20
Sorry about the hubby… and the bitch you want to slap…
Can you explain to me… b/c I’m down w/ lingo, usually, but not with this “the one” thing you keep saying… I don’t understand it… You’re not the one, as in….? I’m so sorry… This makes me feel old to ask, but then again, I’ve learned like twenty gazillion acronyms lately… so go figure…
LivingWicked Reply:
November 18th, 2009 at 00:57
I am not the one is simply a statement of not having it.
Like “I am not the one to be walked all over.” etc.
Make sense ?
November 18th, 2009 at 01:03
There is actually someone here that makes their own clothes.
YES
I WOULD LIKE TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE
It’s my god damn smelling ass roommate that already smells like musty balls himself, but also sweats at night and refuses to wash his sheets, but I have a plan….. I think I’m gonna start sprinkling small amounts of pee on his bed everyday, then he might wash them.
Am I a bad person? lmao
I played air guitar today…..
I don’t drive =[
and sadly…. yes
November 18th, 2009 at 04:51
Haters. I would like to punch haters in general, in the mouth. Right in the kisser.
I played air guitar… two days ago probably. Air drums yesterday!
I just recently started driving, so not much lol
Nope I haven’t.
Not to be an instigator, but you should totes trip that woman if she shoves you like that again. Then apologize profusely with a wicked lil grin. Ok, I’m evil. lol
November 18th, 2009 at 05:31
Who would YOU like to punch in the face right now? always the same person…I think the frepunchintheface card would get used on her EVERY year!! LOL
When is the last time you played the air guitar? last night while doing my dishes
What’s the weirdest thing you have done while driving? hehehehe WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!!! lol nothing weird, no weirdness from me while driving…..well, while driving a CAR anyways!!
Have you ever called out the wrong name while having sex? nope, not a problem for me
November 18th, 2009 at 05:45
I have a few people I’d like to punch in the face. One of which also makes her own clothes, funnily enough. It’s like a pre-requisite for douchebaggery-101.
I do not believe I have ever played the air guitar. Even by myself – the thought makes me all self-conscious and I’m not sure why or what that means lol.
Does sex count as the weirdest thing I’ve ever done while driving? Not that *I* was driving… I think it counts.
I have never called the wrong name during sex…but I am generally not a talker, so that may be a big part of it.
November 18th, 2009 at 06:27
I am so sorry Courtni* But when you find they are handing out those “PunchTheBitchInTheFace” cards….Can I get in line with you?? heehee I have a few bitches that need it now!
Also,,, I am with ya on the trying to find additional “legal” income…let meknow how that works out!!
And Actually, Cidy & I played Air guitar, Air Mic., and Air drums this morning in the car….he loves Journey!?!?!?!?
Have you ever called out the wrong name while having sex?
Um, no…..Can you IMAGINE how the warden would react to That????
Oh and also….
I have never requested friday eye candy b4, but at some point,
(if you already havent posted him) can you add Shemar Moore??
OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
He looks just like my hottie at my POE!!!
Thanks
Donna
November 18th, 2009 at 07:44
So pretty sure I would give my left arm for a punchabitchintheface card… actually, I should probably make it my left leg, because if I ever get the chance to punch the royal pain in my ass I will definitely need both fists!
November 18th, 2009 at 09:05
I’m sooooo with you. Dan’s sister would be the first on my list. Blood is priority. Second would be Dawn. And third would be his ex. He wants to run her over and I told him, not if I get to her first. I said he could ride shotgun. We call her horse face. She’s got those TEETH! I think I need a punchabitchinthefaceMasterCard.
Weirdest thing I’ve done while driving? Um, nothing I do is weird compared to some people. I write checks and balance my checkbook at stop lights when I’m in a hurry. I’m constantly readjusting my pants and underwear to fit around my pregnant belly at lights too.
NO. I have NEVER called out the wrong name during sex. I don’t even say Dan’s name while we are having sex LMFAO
And…in case you needs it…. check out http://www.resourcehouse.com/win211/ it’s the 211 phone number that DSHS and places give out, but it’s online. Remarkably less embarrassing and demeaning than calling. It might be helpful in the future if it’s not now.
I love you.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:28
Sorry to hear of the 90-day limbo. Limbo sucks, but you’ll get through this.
I am so a fan of a day to punch deserving faces! But, I’ll bet that would be the quietest day on the streets as people would hide from the free face punch they so richly deserve.
Totally called out the wrong name during sex! Luckily, the ex whose name I was calling out was “Mike,” so when I realized I’d been going “Oh, Mike,” for fucking ever (really, this was drunken high-as-a-kite 20-something sex) I smoothly segued it into “Oh, My God!” Dude totally bought it.
I think the ex (Old Cake Icing Ass) once called out the wrong name. I grabbed his nutsac and gave it a yank it’s not soon to forget. Strangely enough, he started calling out my name right away….just not with such soothing tones.
Air guitar? I am a 45 y/o woman and I have to admit it was last month at an STP show when I was waaaaaaaaaaaay into a song surrounded by folks in the pit right in the front of the stage. I don’t think anyone was looking at me, but I did do the old huh-was-I-doing-something fluff-the hair move when I caught it and stopped.
November 18th, 2009 at 15:13
Who would I like to punch right now? ME for eating all that effing candy leftover from Halloween. *sigh*
Kudos to restraint! Why’s hubby gone for so long? ugh!
November 19th, 2009 at 15:02
90 days, huh? That sucks.
I never want to hit anyone in the face. If I am that mad at someone, I can think of much worse things to do than hit them.
I don’t play air guitar. I am a rock star. I play real guitars.
Sex while driving isn’t THAT weird. How about opening a condom and letting 80 mile an hour highway winds inflate that bad boy.
Never called out the wrong name. Often have thought of others though. Can’t help it. My mind is an ocean.
November 19th, 2009 at 15:11
Played a little air guitar with the kiddos last night. Then, I heard an old Whitesnake song on my way to work and may have played it in my head.
While driving…or being driven, the weirdest thing would be changing my clothes while going down the road.
November 20th, 2009 at 04:34
*hugs* You probably don’t want to hear this, but to paraphrase Julianna Margulies, this is just a moment. It doesnt define your life. This moment isnt who you are. This moment will pass and life WILL get better.
Another quote? “Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour.” And I know that something sweet is right around the corner for you babe. You more than deserve it.
November 30th, 2009 at 22:08
I think I may be following you now but I am not 100% positive. Sorry hon