Pillow Talk — 4
Oct 7, 2009 This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, Yum... or Lack There Of., pillow talk
Me: “Ellen page sounds like a rock star name.”
D “Yeah it does. i was gonna say that or a
old white lady name.”
Me: “An old white lady porn name?”
D “Why is it always about the porn with you? I was thinking about old white lady actress names and here you go with the porn.”
Me: “Like you never think about porn.”
D: “This isn’t about me. Old white lady names: Meryl Streep. Janice Dickenson, Jane Fonda.”
Me: “All very well could have been porn names.”
D: “You are wrong and you know it.”
Me: “Whatever I am right in my calling out of the old white lady porn names.”
Long Long Lonnnnnnnnnnnnng Pause.
Me rapping: “Playin workout tapes by Fonda! But Fonda aint got a motor in the back of her Honda!”
————————————————————————————————————-
(after hearing a moaning coming from the kitchen.)
Me: “What in the hell are you doing in there?”
D: “Nothing.”
Me: “You are scratching your balls, arent you?”
D: “Maybe.”
Me: “At the same time as making the cookies?”
D: “Maybe.”
Me: “OMG GROSS.”
D: “What? I haven’t opened the package yet.”
Me: “Wash your hands before touching the dough D.”
(insert long silence)
Me: “Omg. Are you still scratching your balls?”
D “It was the last scratch I swear.”
Me: “Er …”
D: “That was the best ball scratching session ever.”
Me: “Uh …”
D: “My balls are still tingling as we speak.”
Me: “Er …”
D: “It feels like a million kittens licking my balls.”
Me: “Wow …”
(insert long pause #2 before D walks out of the kitchen, mixing bowl in hand.)
Me: “D!!”
D: “What!?”
Me: “YOU DIDN’T WASH YOUR HANDS!”
D: “Uh?!”
Me: “GOWASHYOURHANDSTHISINSTANT.”
D: “I wasn’t even really scratching my balls just then. I was kidding!”
Me: “Really?!”
D: “I WASN’T!”
Me: “You are so god damn nasty.”
D: “You are blogging this, aren’t you?”
Me: “Really?!”
Have you ever met a famous person?
Which do you prefer, sunrises or sunsets?
Tags: baking cookies, ball scratcher, hand washing, marriage
October 8th, 2009 at 00:34
I’ve met a couple of famous people. I met Chris Isaak after one of his concerts as a teenager, he was signing memorabilia after the concert.. and I’ve met Steve Poltz a couple of times, he occassionally does intimate loungeroom concerts and did a couple at the house of a girl I know the last 2 times he was here in Oz, and I came this | | close to meeting Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman and Keith Urban, along with Hugh’s wife and Russell Crowe’s wife (who ironically is the one I am the biggest fan of cos I love her music) when I went to see the Police in concert last year, they were all sitting one row over and one row back from me (I had better seats hahaha) … but they were surrounded by bodyguards dammit…
I like both equally… I love seeing a sunrise when I manage to get up early enough and we get the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets over here… so pretty…
October 8th, 2009 at 04:30
D: “You are blogging this, aren’t you?”
Me: “Really?”
HAHAHAHAHHA
Have you ever met a famous person? yes, Mathew McConaughey…I’ve been in the same room as Rick Ocasek(from The Cars) and John Goodman once…he seemed like a nice guy(John Goodman)
Which do you prefer, sunrises or sunsets? sunsets…I like the thought of the day going to bed…
October 8th, 2009 at 04:40
That’s funny..hopefully the cookies did not taste like balls…lol
I met Pebbles (Mercedes Girl) she was a singer when I was like 10 years old and I met Morris Chesnut when I was like 15 oh how I wish I could meet him now…lol
I perfer Sunsets – its the end of the day and it’s winding down
October 8th, 2009 at 05:26
A very long time ago, I met Johnny Cash and you know, the whole celebrity thing never really excited me but I rather enjoyed that experience.
I have to go with sunrises. I’m naturally in a more relaxed state of mind in the mornings so I’m more likely to actually take notice of it than at the end of the day when my head is all busy.
October 8th, 2009 at 05:49
It’s not so much the ball scratching as what he was stirring the batter with…
Famous people I’ve met – Steven Wright, Penn Jillete (he grew up a couple of towns over from me), Steve Perry in a strip club (that guy is über short), I’ve partied a few times with Iron Maiden and Julianne Nicholson is good friends with my cousin.
Sunsets
October 8th, 2009 at 07:55
D: “You are blogging this, aren’t you?”
Me: “Really?!”
I’ve met:
Wayne Brady
Dane Cook
Robert Kelly (The comedian, not the pedophile)
Jay Davis
Gary Gulman
Sunsets.
October 8th, 2009 at 08:27
hahahaaha “its like a million kittens licking my balls”
I’ve met Beach Boys, Soprano’s cast, Aerosmith, Bill Cosby, huh, can’t think of who else, but I used to work in VIP at the hotel at the casino here, so I checked in a bunch of famous people but I sometimes didn’t realize it until after and I always tried to pretend like they were anybody else b/c I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable. But, actually met met, shook their hand and made googly eyes at them=none
I think I would like sunsets more. The end of the day is more relaxing than the beginning, but now I want to see both and compare.
October 8th, 2009 at 08:43
LMAO at the snippet of married life.
Okay, I was never a groupie, but I’ve met a whole bunch of famous people. Really, you would think living in West Virginia would limit a person’s chances to meet famous people. I’ve never set a list down on paper, but I throw out my best knowns:
Freddie Mercury – I worshipped his voice. I worshipped his eyes. I didn’t care that he’d likely rather sex up my Dad than me; I wasn’t into it for the sexing anyhow. I was so starstruck that I stood like a mute having one of those seizures that makes you just stare. He was shy, but he did give me a kiss. It was over a decade before he died and several decades ago, so I think I’m safe on that score. I forgot to ask him for an autograph.
Brian May – I talked to him for a half hour like he was a long-lost relative. I got his autograph. And, I moaned about my inability to speak when faced with a real-live Freddie Mercury.
Bill Monroe – The father of bluegrass. Dad played bluegrass. I played peep-eye at bluegrass festivals with Bill as a kid. No idea he was famous or anything at the time, so I guess that doesn’t really count.
Peter Jennings – He was nice. Very nice. And brilliant. Didn’t think to ask him for an autograph either.
David Johansen – I love the New York Dolls. I love David Johansen’s voice. I have worshipped him from afar until this past summer when I got to meet him at a New York Dolls show (believe it or not, they still rock like mad…the new guys in the band a great). I’m still in awe of having exchanged words. At least I am old enough and clear headed enough that I got an autograph.
I totally prefer sunset, unless the sunrise comes at the end of a night of being sexed up until dawn. It’s been many moons since there was any up-til-dawn sexing. Getting old sucks. I’m a nightowl anyway, so sunrise often means, “Damn, now I’m going to have to try to make it on a nap today.” Whereas, sunset is the signal that I’m entering my comfort zone part of the day.
October 8th, 2009 at 14:25
That was friggen hilarious … I met Al Roker when I was in the city going to the Columbus Day Parade with my dad. He hugged me cuz I kinda looked at him and went “….. I know you..” and he laughed at me… this was when he was still fat so it was like hugging a teddy bear. That’s how I remember it anyway… I was like 12..Not really famous but hey!
I’m more a sunset fan I like the sky when it’s that dark dark blue, sort of cobalt-ish..
October 8th, 2009 at 14:25
I will think of this the next time I bake cookies. Umm….thanks? *giggle*
I’ve met Bob Hope (at daddy’s graduation from college), Steven Tyler& the guys from AeroSmith (coulda been in Ragdoll video *sigh*), Brad Paisley, the lead singer from White Lion (same aerosmith show), Tanya Tucker, Gretchen Redneck Woman Beotch, a few other country stars and a few smaller acters when I was in LA.
And you. I ‘ve met you.
Sunsets are my fave cuz I see them the most…but I do love the newness of the day at sunrise.
October 8th, 2009 at 21:44
D is my favorite cartoon character.
I love Sunsets for the extra pink and oranges.
I’ve met a lot of famous people so I’ll limit it to a few I’ve actually had conversations with.
Billy Joe Armstrong
Rev Joseph “DJ Run” Simmons
Darryl “D.M.C.” McDaniels
Jason “Jam-Master Jay” Mizell
Penn Gillette
Teller
Judah Bauer
Russell Simins.
Jon Spencer
Gallagher
R.L. Burnside
Dave Foley
Kevin McDonald
Bruce McCulloch
Mark McKinney
Scott Thompson.
Gene Ween
Dean Ween
Susan Tedeshi
Carol Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 10:43
You should write about your convo with Susan T…Chrissie turned me onto her…
David Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 18:00
She wasn’t quite famous yet back then… this was around 97 or 98. She came and played our college a couple of times. I was in the cool crowd so I was at the after parties. The times I talked to her, we were both drunk and high as hell. I do remember thinking she was a lesbian, but that was probably due to the lesbians I was with. They love(d) the shit out of her. She seemed pretty cool and essentially like anyone else at the party, only she had played some wicked blues a couple hours before.
October 9th, 2009 at 07:48
B does the same thing. He knows RIGHT as it’s leaving his mouth that it’s going in the blog…
But it’s already too late. Bwahahaha!
October 12th, 2009 at 03:53
ROFL
What? I thought ovens killed germs like that.
October 14th, 2009 at 12:31
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever met a famous person? I am famous.
Which do you prefer, sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets behind the Rocky Mountains … awwww