Honest Tuesday’s — 2
Oct 26, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Etc., Family, Honest Tuesday's, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables
Welcome to round 2 of Honest Tuesday’s. It is kinda like TMIT’s but not raunchy … nor will it make you throw up in your mouth. It is more of a weekly check yourself blog. What are you lying to yourself about? What are you pretending to be okay with but really are not okay with? Who are you really?
So I will go first. You will then read, judge me (yes you will) and then purge your own brutal honesty. Be anonymous if you like. I don’t care. It will feel better to say something honest rather than keep it in and lie to yourself and others forever.
I wont judge. Much. *winkwinkwink*
On this Tuesday, I will admit that I am not as mean, brash, hard core as I may like to come across to others.
Shut up.
Look. I will beat a bitch down if I am 1) instigated against 2) drunk enough and provoked 3) in the mood to.
It is true. I am not a tough girl. All of the time anyway. Don’t get it twisted though. I am not scared of no bitch no how. (It is serious enough to have an intentional grammatical error in my blog to irritate most of you reading it.)
This is the thing though.
I am not young. I seem to have adapted this ability to “assess the situation” with my oldER age of 30. Meaning, if a bitch is all disrespectful like in my face or anyone’s face around me that I give a shit about … I have begun to make a decision based on factors.
FACTORS. Who in the fuck makes a decision based on FACTORS?! Oh that’s right. Adults do. Adults who apparently need to set an example for their offspring do. I have been handed this memo certified letter style by D to remind me of my temper/mouth/flailing fucking fist on too many an occasion.
This memo reads something like this:
Dear Wifey,
You should reconsider your hot headed-ness in the following situations:
1) Grocery stores. (That bitch really was that dumb. I promise. It wasn’t an intentional jam on your ankle with her grocery cart)
2) Public FAMILY gatherings. (It is possible that parents of other offspring do not know what the fuck they are doing. You YELLING it across multiple children in profane verbiage is not appropriate. Yes I agree with you. SILENTLY)
3) In the car. (There are kids in the car with you. THE BITCH CANNOT HEAR WHAT A CUNT SHE IS ON THE FREEWAY IN ANOTHER VEHICLE! Your children however, can hear. When Charli uses the word cunt in front of people … I guarantee you will be mortified.)
Please adhere to the above mentioned guidelines promptly to avoid me laying the smack down on your vulgar ass.
Love, D.
Hmph. So what you are saying is, that I am too old to be vulgar? NEVAH! I get it though. If I want my kids to grow up with more tack than I have, I need to put a mild cork in it. Fine. Fine D. You win this time. But let me get drunk enough around NO KIDS or POLICE or BOUNCERS. SAY I WONT GOD DAMNIT!
Also, along with the not being tough admittance for this Honest Tuesday … I will confess a little about my non-toughness. I am sure all of you beezos will get a big fat kick out of it too.
1) I cry at that one State Farm Commercial where a young M.J. is singing “I’ll Be There” at the very beginning. Every. Single. Time. Single tear styles.
2) When Xavier and Charli hug one another, I cry. Like a baby.
3) I cry at chick flicks.
4) Puppies and kitties melt my heart. So do babies. And love. And sentimental gestures. And poetry. And corny pop songs. Sometimes I cry about one or more of these things.
5) I cry after really great sex.
6) I like to do stupid things for people I like. For instance, every Valentines Day, I buy the little Valentine cards and leave them on my co-workers desks. Or I bring the ladies in my life daisies. Or I draw love notes on the fog in the bathroom for X or D to tell them that I love them when they get out of the shower.
See? Not tough. I am a big fucking sap actually.
Shhhh. No one can ever know this secret about me. Keep it between us, K?
What is your Honest Tuesday Confession???
What turns you off about the opposite sex?
What country would you like to visit most? Why?
Would you give a homeless person CPR?
Tags: fight, honesty, marriage, memo, Parenting, road rage, tough, tuesdays, vulgar
October 26th, 2009 at 23:45
ummmmm I wear the same jeans two days in a row sometimes to sane money for laundry…….
Turn-Off:Whiney-ness, and when a woman pretty much baits you trying to get a stupid compliment for no effing reason.
I wanna go to Italy….. the ladies and what not
Maybe if it was a “sane” homeless person if you know what I mean
LivingWicked Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 23:49
Oooh I hate bitches like that.
Italy.
I wanna go too.
LMFAO. Sane? Like one who wouldn’t bite your face off?
Tyler LB. Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 23:54
Like sane as in the kind that just stands there with the “I want a dollar, G0d Bl3ss y0u”
when I say insane I mean the kind that just start freaking out and yelling or constant talking to oneself
Keep in mind though I’m using the word “sane” very loosely
LivingWicked Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 23:59
I gotcha. Thank you for clarifying.
October 27th, 2009 at 03:25
Big questions there… I lie to myself every day … and to the people around me. I tell everyone I’m fine, I’m not lonely, I like my own company…
turn offs in the opposite sex.. Game players… Men who only like the chase… if you chase me and then once I give in start playing it cool you can be damn sure I am out the door and you will not get a second chance… unfortunately it seems to be the type I have attracted my whole life…
I don’t really have a country I want to visit most anymore.. it was England but I’ve been there… France is high on my list though, Italy, Austria, Hungary, Scotland (cos I LOVE the accent)… Ireland (cos I LOVE the guinness hahaha)
I’d like to think I would..
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:38
Then maybe saying that you aren’t fine will help you figure out how to get fine.
I am just saying. Knock off the fake smile. Let it be known. You are only disadvantaging yourself.
Kylie Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 00:33
I know.. I worry too much about making others worried.. it’s a vicious circle..
LivingWicked Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 08:08
Knock it off!
October 27th, 2009 at 04:04
I am terrified of my own lack of direction and ambition to find one.
What turns me off? Being ordinary. She has to have something incredibly beautiful about her.
What country to visit most? Why? Tokyo. Because it sounds so strange.
Would you give a homeless person CPR? If I knew CPR, I would not hesitate.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:39
I am glad I am not ordinary. Ordinary sucks.
@ the CPR thing … ? WOW. That is admirable.
October 27th, 2009 at 04:32
Sometimes I don’t do things because I feel like I will inevitably fail at them.
Turn Offs: Arrogance. It’s cool to be self-assured and confident but don’t throw your status in my face plzkthx. Douchebaggery. That goes hand-in-hand with “I’mAnAsshole” Syndrome.
I’d like to visit Greece because my papa is from Halandri and I want to see where he grew up. Plus it doesn’t hurt that it’s incredibly gorgeous.
I definitely would give a homeless person CPR.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:40
I do the same thing.
I <3 all things Greece.
October 27th, 2009 at 04:39
SHIT, those weren’t confessions, I knew that about you already…and you call ME a softie….
What is your Honest Tuesday Confession??? I really DO like Glenn Beck…THERE, I SAID IT!!
What turns you off about the opposite sex? arrogance
What country would you like to visit most? USA Why? I still believe this is the best country in the world
Would you give a homeless person CPR? nope, I sure wouldn’t, call me what you will……
Cassie Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 04:40
I read the country to visit question wrong…….sorry
I want to to Australia more than anywhere else on Earth
WHY? I want to DIVE the Great Barrier Reef, I want to hang out with an Aborigine, I want to go walk-about….and think of never coming back…..
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:41
I will call you nothing because I prolly wouldnt either.
October 27th, 2009 at 05:35
What turns me off… know it alls. arrogance. games. lack of self-esteem. bad grammar/spelling.
I want to see a lot of places but England still tops the list just because I have a good friend there. If only I weren’t so poor.
Hell yes I’d give a homeless person CPR. It is a person, after all.
I can’t think of any confession right now.
Ok, I haven’t shaved my legs in 3 weeks. Does that count?
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:48
it totally counts.
October 27th, 2009 at 05:51
Hmm tell me something I *don’t* know.
Kidding, I love your face and the rest of you too.
Hmm…confession…I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I might later.
Turn offs – guys who are ALL about you and try to get you to make plans and then act like they don’t even care if you’re there or not. It’s like I could be hanging out with someone who WANTS me to be here so if you don’t, I’ll go. It’s not even just guys that I’ve dated – I have a couple of male friends who are like that. PSHT.
Countries – all of them? But high on the list are Scotland and Ireland.
And no, I wouldn’t give anyone cpr because I don’t really know how and I’d be scared to make shit worse.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:49
biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.
There is always next week.
I want to see both of those countries.
October 27th, 2009 at 07:21
I am terrified of this marriage thing more often than I’ll ever admit to anyone.
Bald chests turn me off. I like men, not children. Dirty talk also tends to turn me off. Just not my thing.
Italy. The food. The wine. The culture. The history. The art. The architecture. The flowers. The sunflowers in particular. The people. The weather. The trains. The language… I could go on…
I wouldn’t give CPR to a homeless person. Imma germaphobe. I’d have to know someone REALLY well to give them CPR – it’s nothing against the homeless in particular.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:51
Why did I know that.
It is a natural feeling. Believe me.
D is bald. But he is dark skinned so I honestly don’t notice. I only like a specific KIND of dirty talk, if that makes sense.
Itaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyy. I would love to go. Just you and me? Wouldn’t that be so much fucking fun??!?!?!?
October 27th, 2009 at 10:06
I’m not really OK with losing my job, but I pretend I am because I’m hoping I’ll believe myself.
1. Arrogance.
2. Ireland. It’s where my family is from.
3. Probably not. I’d probably think about it, but I most likely wouldn’t do it.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:53
Whatever gets you through it babe. You will have to admit it sooner or later though. (other than here, anyway.)
IRELAND! I wanna go too!
October 27th, 2009 at 10:27
Turn off- Arrogance and douchbaggery for sure
Country to visit- Ireland- I’m irish and it seems beautiful.
I would most definitely give CPR to a homeless person.
Secret- Yesterday I fell in love with a wedding dress I saw online. I honestly want it. It costs more than my whole thing is going to cost so obviously I am not going to get it. And the rational side of me knows how silly it is, but when I see it, I melt and think, that’s my dress. I never thought that could EVER happen to me about a stupid dress!! So I keep it in my favorites anyways just so I can look at it and drool.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:56
Have you thought about finding a similar pattern and CLing a seamstress to see how much it would cost to make it?
October 27th, 2009 at 16:05
I’ll make a confession.
A few years back, I saw that movie Gigli. Yeah, that one. With Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. And, well, I kinda liked it. I’ve also seen The Devil Wears Prada.
I will go now.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 21:58
I like that movie too. (shhhhhhhh.) Although this and TS makes me wonder…
I also loved TDWP. It is a cute damn movie.
October 27th, 2009 at 19:03
pfft. a bitch already knows. you are beautiful, kind, loving, and generous. even if it doesn’t come off in the first breath when you’re screaming at some fucking cunt asking her where the fuck she got her liscense from. Okay, so maybe it’s just me that takes after my mother and shouts out ‘where’d you get your liscense from, (KMART? WIGWAM? URANUS?)’ I hate driving. It increases my blood pressure. And when I scream at people, the kids laugh. My mother did it before me, but denies it. My kids will follow suit. And they’ll be just like me and won’t give a shit if the window is open when they do it. Inconsiderate drivers need to know they are douchbags for not using their turn signals so they can rectify the situation promptly.
Hair turns me off about the opposite sex. Facial hair. Excessive body hair. Just EWW. It turns me off about MYSELF. Dan and I actually had this conversation in the car after we stopped to get him coffee today. There is NO downtown if I’m not nice and shaved. And considering the parasite, i mean, baby, in my uterus, he has to be rejected sometimes. We are not talking afropussy either. just like, a week overdue, but I’m like FUKNO and the funniest part is, HE DOESN’T CARE EITHER WAY!!!
I’d like to visit Italy with Dan. We are going. When the baby is done nursing. It’s on. Probably the summer of 2011.
Confession huh? I’m not as nice as I like to let people THINK I am. I’m a bitch. I’m rude, crude and socially unacceptable. It’s just the way it is. And actually, I kind of ENJOY being a bitch.
LivingWicked Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 22:01
This is not new information.
October 27th, 2009 at 23:35
What is your Honest Tuesday Confession??? Well… you already read my “new me” blog so I think ya already know
What turns you off about the opposite sex? bad breath
What country would you like to visit most? Why? Canada, cause it’s close and I wouldn’t have to fly over water
Would you give a homeless person CPR? hell fucking yes! why wouldn’t i???