Pillow Talk – 2
Sep 23, 2009 Family, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables
I jacked this idea from Lilu … so I gotta always show her some love. If you don’t read … you should be.
D: “I should have taken these fries out way earlier”
Me: (grabbing one and shoving it in my mouth) “I like them crunchy”
D: “Me too. I cant eat them like that anymore.”
Me: “Oh yeah I forgot. You are in your pre-denture phase.”
D: (trying to act offended)”How DARE you make fun of me for being dentally-challenged.”
Me: “Hey, I don’t discriminate.”
D: (snicker) “I may be dentally challenged but I am not orally challenged.”
Me: “No you sure are not. It is one of the top 5 reasons that we are still together.”
D: “The funny thing is, you aren’t laughing.”
Me: “Truth.”
D: “It’s okay, a house husbands job is never done.”
D: “I love this picture.”
Me: (grimacing) “My face looks fucking fat in it.”
D: “Uh. Well. You had … There was … You were … Considerably…”
Me: “Are you gonna finish one of those sentences?”
D: “There was considerably more to you last summer.”
Me: (Stifling a laugh) “Considerably more to me? Is that your final answer?”
D: “Yeah i am gonna go with that.”
Me: “Interesting.”
D: “I fucked myself out of some ass, didnt I?”
Me: “Why do you say that?”
D: “I agreed with your fat face comment.”
Me: “It WAS fat.”
D: (pause) “Yeah, I am sticking with my original comment.”
Me: “You saying that there was “considerably more to me” is still calling me fat. Just in bigger words.”
D: “But I didn’t say it.”
Me: “Considerably more?”
D: “I said that not the other.”
Me: “You are digging a hole here.”
D: “Do I still have ass potential?”
Me: “Only because i too have needs.”
D: “Well if it is any help, you are considerably less now.”
Me: “Really?”
D: “I will shut up while I am ahead.”
Me: “Really?”
D: “I was never ahead, was I?”
Me: “Why are you still talking?”
Tags: fat, love, marriage, pillow talk, Sex
September 23rd, 2009 at 23:00
hhahahahaha that last part was my favorite.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 23:12
September 24th, 2009 at 01:55
Haha!
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 07:59
Haha! Is right.
September 24th, 2009 at 02:37
too funny.. I love these little snippets…
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:00
I am glad you do.
September 24th, 2009 at 02:47
Ah, men. Sometimes, you can’t even get mad… you just PITY them too much.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:00
I PITY THA FOO!
September 24th, 2009 at 04:37
I love your Wickedly hilarious marital banter.
I, myself am not in the mood for sharing a bed right now – much less a pillow…..or any level of conversation. I am faced daily with the realization that I have now failed at this TWICE. It will be very difficult for me to go down this road again.
My ex used to tell me believing in fairy tales was going to get me into trouble. He just didn’t get it. Making a commitment to someone you can trust, sharing the ups and downs, figuring out a way to keep the bills paid and the kids fed and still finding one another at the end of the day and being able to laugh and love – that WAS the fairy tale.
You’re living it, Courtni. Hold tight.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:03
I love it too. There is never a dull moment.
I would look at it like this: Not failure. Never failure. It is a step toward whatever YOUR fairy tale is. In every relationship there is a lesson to be learned for the next one. You gotta figure out what that lesson is … LEARN FROM IT and embrace the fact that YOU tried. That you gave it everything you had. Not all relationships, friendships, marriages … whatever are meant to be forever. They just arent.
I love you.
Tallulah Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:32
I did learn it after the first one – just didn’t believe in me long enough to realize it until it was too late…..too bad I didn’t have all of you around to kick me in the ass when I needed it back then.
Love you too.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:49
Next time, you can bet your ass we will be there.
September 24th, 2009 at 05:08
“I was never ahead, was I?”
hahahahahahahaha
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:03
He is a smart cookie. LMFAO.
September 24th, 2009 at 05:55
hahaha
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:06
September 24th, 2009 at 06:12
I love that last conversation
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:07
He was just digging away. HA HA HA
September 24th, 2009 at 07:29
I love this too. “Why are you still talking?” ha!
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 08:07
Well!? He just kept on going!
September 24th, 2009 at 10:08
There is no answer to the “am I” / “was I fat” question. The only answer that will potentially not get a man in trouble is to stare at a spot on the carpet and not speak.
Then again, that means that he’ll get in trouble for “not listening”… I try to avoid the question, altogether. It’s not a fair one.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 21:12
I never ask. I was simply stating a fact. That is why it is so funny.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:27
LMFAO!!!! y’all rock!
ps… have like 10 pages left *big grin*
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 21:12
Woooooooooooooo!
September 24th, 2009 at 11:58
Ohhhhh <3 lol
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 21:12
<3 <3 <3
September 24th, 2009 at 13:13
I so love this man.
David Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 13:19
And while I get where you all think he messed up, I don’t fully understand why. Isn’t there some kind of double standard going on? Women call guys out on EVERYTHING they possibly can.
Men aren’t stupid. They just have to pretend to be because girls always change the rules.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 21:13
No one said he is messed up. I was laughing.
David Reply:
September 25th, 2009 at 05:25
I didn’t say he IS messed up. Read it again.
And I’m not fighting a gender battle or upset at all. I’m just asking a question.
Here where I feel at home.
September 24th, 2009 at 14:42
Dan Perk #327 – I can’t remember the last time that I ‘cleaned’. He is the bitchenest house husband ever. Obsessive compulsive to a T. He knows how to scrub a fucking toilet. Including the one from my old apartment that was sooo nasty I almost had it replaced so I didn’t have to pay the fine for damaging it after it sat, empty and unflushed for like five months. Sandpaper. In the toilet. Fine grit. No joke. Once a week he OCD’s the bathroom. Scrubs shower walls, floor, counters, toilet, mirror…all.of.it. IT’s fucking NUTS. And he’s training the oldest two kids to keep their bathroom JUST.AS.CLEAN. God I love him. haha.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 21:14
again <3 the Dan perks.
September 24th, 2009 at 17:25
you two are inspirational. that is all.
LivingWicked Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 21:14
<3