YGWM, Oh CRAP & Friday Eye Candy
Jul 30, 2009 All Things X, DUH, Friday Eye Candy, Ranteriffic, Thoughts and Perceptions, You've Got Wicked Mail
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy Friday.
I think that I should double up on my daily blogs, saving one and posting one because come September I am going to be back in the place of toomuchtodonotimetodoit (read: school)
I met with the director/advisor/instructor of the program I am working toward. We had a lot to discuss. Before I get into that, he looked at me, chuckled a little and said:
“You look … rested.”
“I am rested.”
“Dropping summer quarter was a good thing then?”
“Yes.”
“I must say. The last time I saw you … and I am using your words … you had “I am fucking over it” written all over your face.”
(cracking up) “I was fucking over it.”
“I didn’t want to tell you that I thought you should take a break. But I could tell you were burnt.”
“Yeah. I needed this.”
Being that I dropped summer quarter… my education plan changed a bit, extending my completion out to the end of spring quarter instead of winter. At first I was disappointed. And then, after pre-planning not just fall … but winter and spring as well … we got on the subject of what I was going to do after I was certified and licensed.
Duhhhhhhhhh, get my Masters. What else would I be doing?
And then he says: “You know, I am not sure if you thought about the length of time that you are going to be in school or not… but because of your mommy, work, and school chaos … you are going to be in school a long time.”
I sat there and pondered this statement. Long time liiiiiiiiiiiiiike ?
And then he answered. (He must have seen the smoke start to escape from my ears) “Long time like 2018.”
Uh. Two Thousand Eighteen?
Blah.
This means that 1) I will have been in school 10 years and 2) I will graduate college the same year that X graduates high school.
I mean, there really is not an other option for me. Me not getting my Masters that is. I am not the one who just gets the minimum certification. I don’t want to just be a CDP. My interest in psychology is much more complicated than that. Not only that but I am not a settler. If I am in school until I am in a walker… then so be it. I think it was the fact that him saying my 2 0 1 8 college graduation reality out loud really resonated. It became tangible. It is going to take me 10 years, but god damnit I am going to fucking finish what I have started.
/realizationofmyrealityrant
Back to your regularly scheduled programming:
Dear 100 + degree heat,
I like you. I really do. I would like you better from the inside of my AC filled house. The problem: Seattle doesn’t have the need for AC on a regular basis. You are like a free stripper on a Friday: A rarity. It would be nice to have a little warning next time. Just saying.
Dear You,
The world is not out to get you. Pretty sure. At least, I am not out to do you wrong, fuck you over, walk all over you. Other people might be, but not me. I am your friend. Period.
Dear Other You,
You are so full of fucking shit. How about try practicing what you preach? How about you take your cookie cutter inspirational statements and shove them up your fucking ass? I am done playing the game. Words will be had. And when they are out in the open, for all to hear … I will wash my hands of you.
Dear D,
I love you.
Now it is your turn. Same as every Friday. Purge your anger here so you are able to thoroughly enjoy your weekend.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd how could I deny you your weekly Friday Eye Candy?
He is a really great actor. He is in one of my favorite movies of all time… Cruel Intentions.
He has a reeeeeee ee e eally nice body. I <3 his infamous 5 o'clock shadow.
Ryan Phillippe
I hope you enjoy your weekends! Dont forget to purge. I know you have at least ONE letter to write.
Tags: Friday Eye Candy, graduation, kids, rant, reality, school
July 31st, 2009 at 00:04
Dear Costs too Effin Much Endodontist,
I am very sorry that you chose to not listen to me when I clearly told you that I would require a full face block for you to attempt the root canal. I am sorry you put me in infinite pain to the point I was zombified and lost en entire day and a half of my life. When you mumbled about how I disrupted your other patients, you are lucky I just cried more instead of punching you in the face.
Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, be sure the drugs and shots are WORKING before you attempt my surgery on Thursday. I know you think you are so much smarter than me, but apparently,I know my body and my dental nerves a helluva lot better than you do. I am the patient. I am spending over 1400 to get this done right. Do your part and be the best.
Thank you.
Dear Safety Department, I will write my letter to you next week…after I’ve gone through more of your three ring circus.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:07
Yeah. Dental work is no fucking joke. Painwise OR costwise. They need to do it right the first time.
July 31st, 2009 at 01:01
Don’t let that 2018 deter you! It will be over before you know it, and you will be glad you did it! My aunt just got her Master’s at the age of 53, so while she took several breaks over the years, she didn’t let time or age keep her from doing it.
Dear Me,
Take your own fucking advice for a change. Really. Just once. Damn.
Love, Zan
*************************************************
Dear Depression,
Go away. Seriously. I’m sick of you. You come in and out of my life at totally inappropriate times and I.am.done. Piss off.
Sincerely,
Zan
************************************************
Dear Part-Time Job that I HATE but really NEED,
Suck it. I cannot count how many times I have wanted to walk the eff out, but that extra $300 every two weeks is really really needed right now. I wish I could quit you, and I dread walking in the door every day, especially after having worked an overnight shift at another sometimes-emotionally-draining job.
To the owner of the company, I totally get that you’re a perfectionist. TOTALLY. But please, for the love of God, cut me and your other employees some slack. Just a little. I promise it won’t hurt anything. Stop breathing down our necks and listening to every phone call to make sure that everything is said the way it should be said. These realtors are assholes for the most part, and all they want to do is get off the phone. My job is to efficiently handle the call and get them off the phone so I can attend to the next person. Stop micromanaging. And your HR manager? She’s cool for the most part, but she really needs to learn how to talk to people before someone (me) goes off on her. You do not YELL at an employee like she is your child. Period. And you wonder why your turnover rate is so incredibly high. Think about that.
Reluctantly,
Zan
.-= Zandria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday, or Why Jagermeister is the Devil’s Kool-Aid =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:08
FUCK YOU DEPRESSION!
July 31st, 2009 at 01:02
Dear Chinese Take-Out Menu,
Where the fuck are you? I know you were here a couple of weeks ago and I really really want Chinese tonight.
Please appear soon…
thanks
That’s the extent of my rant today cos I have had a good week.. started a new job on monday and am loving it so far… life is good this week…
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:08
HA HA HA HA! This is my favorite.
July 31st, 2009 at 01:12
Dear Twitter,
Like I needed another distraction. I see now the allure and the odd pull you bring to the table.
Dear boobs,
make a decision on size, please, we can’t be all b cup c cup half cup a cup willy nilly.
Dear face,
Lookit, puberty has passed, and I’ll be goddamned if I have to go through phase two, breakouts and deal with facial hair unless I get to grow a 9 inch dick along with it.
Dear dude,
I am not sending you pictures and your sappy wife makes me sick. I get it, shes a sub and you want a dom, but I’ve already extended that gratuity to someone else
Dear stomach,
so, no more flour or sugar huh? This is what you do to me when I don’t follow that guideline, put boulders in my bowels and make me want to samurai sword my guts out, huh? Okay, but you have to deal with the bitchy “I want chocolate” uterus, not me.
Dear sleep,
who knew I wasted so much time with you? If it doesn’t kill me, I may embrace insomnia as a lifestyle, suck on that sandman!!!
Dear reflection,
I really like that you are comfy wearing tanks and are noticing that your shoulder and back look good in them. Wearing clothes your size and not 2 times bigger really works wonders.
Dear Cat,
I swear to whatever God it is that the egyptians worship, if you piss on one more goddamn thing I am cuttin your dick off and strapping a catheter bag to your collar like a goddamn bell!!!
Carol Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 06:36
LAUGHING MY ASS OFF…
Loved the one about facial hair, breaking out and only if getting a niner to go with it!. I snorted…chortled…OUTLOUD at my cubicle.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:09
“I’ve already extended that gratuity to someone else” <— LMFAO!
Also, IM me later I have sugar free chocolate !
July 31st, 2009 at 04:43
Do it. Finish what you started. Even if it takes til 2018. And then throw an epic grad party.
.-= f.B´s last blog ..diff’rent strokes and… marionettes? =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:10
Will you come to my epic grad party?!
f.B Reply:
August 4th, 2009 at 03:09
Yep. If you throw it, I will come.
July 31st, 2009 at 04:54
Dear Bitch,
While I can appreciate that you have far too many people in and out of your house, if you can’t control your kids and how many (30) people they invite over, don’t bitch me out for it.
Dear Neurotic One,
I know your blood sugar is out of control, and the damned doctor keeps changing your insulin, but really, if you would listen and stop the effin’ drinking it would be much easier!
Dear Lazy Bastard,
Your son is only here for the summer. Take an effin’ day and spend some time with him!
Dear Lazy Shit,
If you wouldn’t stay up until 4 in the morning jacking off because your brother is here and you don’t want to get caught, you wouldn’t have to sleep until noon. And exactly how many times do you have to jack off a day? An hour long shower in the morning, another one in the early afternoon, and then up all night! I remember it wasn’t easy at 15, but I never jacked off that much. You’re gonna end up blind boy!
That’s all I have to say this week. Oh, next week I’ll have fun stuff for TMI Thursday… my friend wants me to take her to a gay bar when I get back from Cali… so I’m taking her.
Carol Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 07:59
Oooh..can’t wait to hear that sotry next week. I had great fun with my friends in a gay bar one night…but it’s been YEARS!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:11
OH MY GOD. WHY AM I LAUGHING SOOOOOOO HARD RIGHT NOW HAHAHAHAH!
Carol Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:02
Cuz Heather is a freaking riot….
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:08
She really really is.
July 31st, 2009 at 05:21
Oooh I love him too. It’s been too long since I’ve watched Cruel Intentions but now Ima thinkin’ I need to watch it soonish.
Dear Coworker:
You are a certified asshole. A bigoted, sexist, ignorant asshole. And I hate you. I only bite my tongue to keep the peace around here and because I’m certain that if you and I are constantly at odds, one of us will be let go and I’m certain it wouldn’t be you. Only because you’re friends with the boss while I have maintained a professional distance, not because you’re actually any good at what you do here. In the interest of keeping peace and my job, I let a lot of shit go but if every once in a while I’m just in no damn mood to put up with your shit and get a little testy with you, suck it up, quit being a big fucking baby about it.
Hatefully, Me
Dear Weekend:
You are too short. Remedy this situation immediately. pleaseandthankyou.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:12
Yes Weekend, REMEDY it.
July 31st, 2009 at 06:46
It may take until 2018, but you’re still going to go through with it, and that’s all that really matters. It shows you’re strong and motivated and serious enough about it to make it happen at the end. That’s something to admire.
Dear Friend,
I love you, I really do. I have more fun with you than any of my other friends. You’re pretty much my best friend. But I’m through being second best to him. I’ve ditched my boyfriend plenty of times to hang out with you and you never return the favor. On the contrary, you ditch OUR PLANS to go party with him. So I’m done. Sunday? I’m going out with my boyfriend. Yes, I remember our plans. I just don’t care.
Dear Sister,
He’s not a good guy. You have to get out now. I’m scared for you.
Dear Mom,
Get off my back.
Dear Friend,
You promised me you wouldn’t die. It scares me so much that you’re going to Afghanistan. I don’t want to see you leave.
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
*drools over eye candy*
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..Relax & Take it Easy…It’s Friday! =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:13
Oh that totally sucks to come second to a guy… ALL of the time.
July 31st, 2009 at 07:15
Well, it may be a tad farther off than you thought, but you HAVE a goal! a date!
The only letter I have today is to
Mr Sandman
I dunno whatthehell you did to your sand, but you needta get it fixed. there is no good reason why i get 7-8 hours of sleep and within an hour of waking up, am completely exhausted again?? what’d you do? take all my REM?? srsly dude. fix it NAO plzkkthx
bye
.-= Jody´s last blog ..Bits of Me =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 09:14
So you are getting 8 hours? And still tired?
You might wanna get checked for Apnea.
July 31st, 2009 at 10:14
Ryan grew up in the same town I did, his sister was in the same class as one of my friends. He went to this really weird Baptist school, well maybe not weird, wait yeah, they were pretty weird and judgemental there.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:15
Really? Well he can be weird.
I just wanna see him naked.
July 31st, 2009 at 10:36
GAWDDAMMIT……I left a comment this morning!!! I swear I did!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:39
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cassie Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 10:41
??????
I don’t remember what I said….nor can I form a coherent thought now, so I’m just gonna say..<3 you and have a kick ass weekend!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:23
Youuuuuuuuu TOOOOOOOOOOO!
July 31st, 2009 at 10:48
Dear You,
I don’t believe you. period.
“I’m sorry” is only real when it means “I won’t do it again.” You have yet to STOP doing it, so you are obviously NOT sorry.
Last night made up my mind. And not in the direction you intended.
Yeah-I-AM-calling-you-on-your-shit,
Squish
Dear TwoFacedLyingHypochondriacNeverGrewOuttaHighSchoolBitchofACoWorker:
I know you don’t realize it… but I know that people only talk shit about other people to people they trust. Or, in plainer English – If you hadn’t been willing to talk shit about me with them before, they wouldn’t have asked YOU if I was able to send emails without Caps or bolded font. The fact that you will tell me they said anything, but not who they are, only makes me think that either NOBODY said it and you’re just instigating shit, or you don’t want me to find out what your REAL reply was.
I’ll find out anyway. *I* know where the IM temp files are stored – even if you DID check the “keep no history” box.
SoooooooooGonnaRockYourWorldInTheWorstWayPossible,
Squish
Dear TacoBell,
I know, I shoulda known better. I know, it’s probably my cosmic punishment for ordering things that are not part of the “fit into a wedding dress’ campaign… but really? When a bitch says NO ONIONS, she means it.
DIAF,
Squish
Dear LeavingCoWorker,
No, I’m not excited about your happy hour tonight. You’ve turned very Indie in the last few weeks due to your new friends, and I’m not a fan of overpriced, badly tasting beer just because it’s locally microbrewed. I’m also not a fan of anywhere near campus on a Friday afternoon. Period.
YouSuckButI’llComeAnywayCauseYouMayRedeemYourselfYet,
Squish
Dear MyRealFriends,
I don’t know what I’d do without you. And despite whatever you may have read into the blog – everything will be clear by this time next week and you will know you are loved. With or without cute little acronyms.
JustPlainAndHonestLove,
Squish
David Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:14
IFLY, Squish!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:24
OMG. I love your rants, Squishyface.
Also, I am done seeing IFLY. DONE.
David Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:48
That IFLY was a touch of sarcasm, but… and this is most important, I came up with “IFLY” and said it first to Pam. So… though I am tired of seeing it as well, I can’t totally hate it because it was from me to Pam from the heart.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:07
Its cool. It wasn’t anything toward you specifically. I am just done seeing it.
But I get your not fully hating.
Squish Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:59
I didn’t know that and it intrigues me.
Squish Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:57
lol I needed it today apparently. I felt much better once it was out.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:57
apparently so.
I am happy you got it out.
David Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 21:45
Me too.
Cathartic day.
July 31st, 2009 at 11:13
Dear Couch,
Thanks for supporting me today in my very tough time of DayOffFromWork-itis. You are the best.
xoxo,
LiLu
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..I Want to Meet You! And Friday Funsies =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:25
Supporting couches rule.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:12
Dear whateverthefuckisslowlypainfullykillingme,
Feeling like a tornado threw farm equipment through your guts is fun and all, but not even letting me drink water? 3 fucking days and every cracker or sip of water has left me in pain and regret. I am also exactly 10 pounds lighter. (I think I am slowly passing a gallstone) Kill me or go away. But get on with it.
Dear jackass coworker,
You sucked so bad and got reamed for it so often that a manager told everyone to get off your ass – just cause you were old. A year and a half later, you are promoted to the shock and surprise of EVERYONE who has seen how slow and useless you are. You payroll eating fuck head. I have taken a stand against your surly ineptitude and Ima’bout to drop all kinds of hell on you.
Dear rented movies,
I wanna watch you. But I can’t concentrate cause I’m hurtin.
Dear friendly manager girl at work,
I have no idea why I dreamed I got a blowjob last night or why in the world it was you that gave it, but I liked your warm skin and the sweet look in your eyes and it was pretty good and I thank your dream self for the nice head.
Dear field mouse,
I hope you are in a better place than my room. I told you I was gonna kill you all kinds of dead, but did you pack your bags and skee-daddle? The trap snapped your spine clean and I looked into your dead eyes and saw no pain… only peanut butter eating happiness. I’m thankful for that. You be thankful I didn’t skewer your corpse on a pole to warn off any of your friends looking to bunk with me. RIP.
Dear Christy King’s face,
Damn. I mean, seriously.
Wicked,
Thanks for letting me rant here today. You are awesome. I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Much love.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:26
Christy King’s face is fucking beautiful.
David Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:51
I finally open up and spit poison and all you comment on is Christy’s face…. Mmm Christy’s face. She is sooo pretty.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:06
Sorry, I was distracted!
I am glad you spit venom. I like the venomous David.
Carol Reply:
August 3rd, 2009 at 05:51
And…reading these today makes me giggle a (much needed) bit.
I thought the ‘thank your dreamself for the nice head” was hilarious.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:28
damn you and your friday eye candy! (i so love it) but i lose focus!
ummm… ok school? WOW that sucks and I think you rock… cause I can’t even begin to see myself going back
it rants much 
Dear So and So… check it out 
100 deg heat? ouch! fuck that! i like AC and am going to whine and bitch and complain until my body is the perfect temperature… cause that’s just how I am about that
rant? I wrote a blog
.-= Cassi´s last blog ..Dear So and So… =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 12:32
I shall.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:54
I will personally throw you an epic grad party…complete with an awesome fondant covered cake and TONS of liquor.
Dear Carbs,
I hate you. Go away. This is the final time I’m breaking up with you. You are no good for me.
Love,
Me
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 13:09
Um. YAY. We will totally freak on the dance floor. There WILL be a dance floor… right?!
I have a love affair with carbs every once in awhile. But it is mostly a grudge fuck.
July 31st, 2009 at 16:26
2018? Just what kind of school exactly are you going to? My master’s program was 2 1/2 years, and that was going to school at night and working full time during the day (plus having Ethan in the middle of all that). You can totally do it – just a lot of balancing and juggling.
Dear Work Friend,
I am really pissed right now. You JUST went out (and hooked up) last weekend with a GREAT guy and were gushing about it on Monday, and then the new guy starts Tuesday and you swoop in to claim him as yours. Are you kidding me? I realize that you have some self esteem issues going on right now, and that you are “about to crack” (your words) but COME ON. Give us single people who haven’t had sex in 18 MONTHS to have a chance? Please?
Pleaseandthankyou.
Dear Katelyn,
Stop waking up at 5am.
Pleaseandthanks.
Dear Humidity,
Go away. The only good kind of heat is the dry Phoenix kind. So go. Now.
I’m still waiting for Gavin as Friday Eye Candy. Help me out here.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 16:47
Well I have to:
1) Finish my CDP Certification
2) Do my AA Transfer Degree
and THEN
3) Start the masters program. After I am accepted.
I hate people who stake claim and they already have shit going on. What a cow.
I totally forgot about Gavin. Next week. I promise.
July 31st, 2009 at 16:35
Court, that is not that bad for finishing up a masters degeree, I know many many folks older than me that are just graduating and I am just getting my BA so you just keep on plugging along, dear!!!
Dear PlentyofFishDude
I hate you for telling me I am fucking gorgeous at least 29 times last night and for telling me you want to be my BF and making out with me for hours and hours, for making me laugh and treating me like a princess… I did not sleep with you because I thought you were for real… I might have just as well hopped into bed with you and had a good roll in the hay because today you kicked me to the curb with the fucking explanation of you scared yourself so you need to back the fuck up and continue your search? What the fuck kinda excuse is that…give me a break!
I hope you were so hot and bothered when you got home last night it hurt!
Cinderella
Dear men
I hate that you are so fucking fickle and so confusing… why don’t you just come right out and say what you want so us girls do not have to play head games and waste our time… grrrr
Us Girls
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 16:50
Dude what an asshole.
And, yeah it isnt soooooo bad. I am just an instant gratification girl. I want it NOW, daddy!
July 31st, 2009 at 18:22
mmmmmmm….he is great fucking eye candy! I have always wondered what that 5 O’Clock shaddow would feel like on my inner thigh. *sigh*
Dear Uncle,
I really don’t get it and am completely devistated by your actions and hurtful words…..that you don’t have the guts to say to me. If you tell people in our family you sent me an email, giving them the details of said email, be sure you actually sent me one because they will tell me. We haven’t spoken in five years because I don’t like you. You don’t like me because you couldn’t control me, I don’t like you because I despise liars. You were a liar then, you are a liar now. When I was growing up you were my hero. I kind of wish I never had to grow up and see you through adult eyes. Then I might not hate you. Yes, hate. I have never been so hurt by someone. What I really don’t understand is after not speaking for five years how did you even think of another lie to spread about me? Why would you even consider it? Please, keep my name out of your mouth. I have never told anyone about the affair you had and I love your wife more than I have ever loved you. You gave me details then turned and stabbed me in the back. How does that even begin to make sense? I am so thankful I am not like you. You will never be a part of my life after this. Before I wasn’t sure, but now….psshh. NEVER. I feel sorry for you more than anything. Your kids will grow up and realize who you really are. Once they are grown your very unhappy (sexually frustrated) wife will leave. You will be a lonely old man. It breaks my heart, but you made your bed.
The End
Thanks for letting me rant and sorry it’s so long. I am just full of raw emotion about it right now. Trust, I almost went longer. I have lots I’d like to say to him.
I ♥ you!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 22:14
I <3 you!!!!!!!!! Call me, K?
August 1st, 2009 at 10:54
Dear Depression,
I don’t want you anymore. Can you just go away?
Please?
Jaime
.-= Jaime | Fast Times´s last blog ..I LOVE…Fridays =-.