TMIThursday: 3 Broads and a Little H.J.
Jul 29, 2009 Masturbate-able, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Random, Sex, TMI Thursday's, This Thing Called Marriage., love
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
So. I posted the TMIT where D married a stripper. Unknowingly of course.
This story happened in the same event (read: honeymoon) only in a different location.
We were on our way home from Victoria, B.C., riding the ferry across into Port Townsend. It must have been a busy weekend or something because the boat was packed to the brim with people. If you got a seat, you better stay there or you lost it.
Yeah. Sardine styles.
Anyway, D and I found a seat. We were completely exhausted hungover from the shenanigans that we had gotten ourselves into all weekend long, so we didn’t even think about our booth neighbors. Not even a little bit. ( I dont like to share with weirdo’s. A booth neighbor snob, if you will. If you stink or look like you stink… If you have the sniffles… or anything resembling a sickness that I am not interested in bringing back home with me, I will find another place to sit. End of story)
Shut up.
So as I was saying. We snuggled up on the booth, across from these 3 broads… probably in their late 50’s. We weren’t really talking, but we were not NOT talking either. As I melted into him, my hand automatically traveled toward the penile region. I have noticed that it is like a magnet or something. I get close, and I am junk grabbing. I dont know what it is. Maybe it is just to check to make sure that it is still there, and still large and in charge. Regardless, I do it. And I did it then. He had a jacket covering his crotch-and-more area, and I took it upon myself to start moving underneath clothes and on to hot skin. Heh.
At first, he eye-protested the FUCK out of this business, his eyes darting from me to the broads across from us down to his cahck and back to me. I think he was trying to tell me that it was inappropriate. Not sure, but after about … I dunno … like 5 strokes, you can imagine how his eyes rolled into the back of his head while I handled my business. Or his business. However you want to look at it.
The ladies knew. I know it. Toward the end of this surprise happy hand job treat, my motions under this super cloak of a jacket that I would like to pretend made my hand and its movements invisible (it didnt) got more aggressive. D tried REALLY hard not to moan. I give him an A for effort. But right there, at the end… he let one out. And these broads were motherfucking OFFENDED.
What I did not think about was what to do with the … mess that was made. So, not only did he have to look at them looking at him as he attempted to put it back in his sweats, but he also had to get up and go to the bathroom.
Did we move seats? Nope. Those broads straight got up and moved. I was sure that they reported us. But whatev. D got his, and I am the best wife ever.
The END!
As always, feel free to share your related or non-related TMIT’s!
Tags: ferry, hand job, honeymoon, old woman, TMI Thursday, victioria bc
July 29th, 2009 at 21:07
LOL! I was stuck in a room once with my cousin and his girlfriend as she was doing that to him. You could totally see and hear her hand moving. I just didn’t KNOWwhat it was they were doing until I got a few years older. Ignorance is truly bliss.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 21:08
HA HA HA! Yessssssssssssss!
July 29th, 2009 at 21:31
Ummm. Wow.
Aside from the fact that I would have got up and sat ANYWHERE else, I have nothing to add.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 21:35
I am not sure I understand.
July 29th, 2009 at 21:44
I don’t know. I even consider myself a voyeur in most situations. But I think I would have been a little weirded out by this. You read about this happening on subways in major cities and the general consensus is that it is definitely crossing a major social line.
I’m not judging, I just wouldn’t have sat there across from two strangers while one jerked the other one off.
Maybe it’s just my mood right now.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:25
I dont think they knew until the end. Also, we were like 20 years old. I don’t think that anyone was thinking about the social lines at that age.
But I understand where you are coming from… and I know you arent one to judge.
David Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 04:20
I was felingh a little sick last night. Not horrifyingly so, but enough to color my thoughts and mood.
Now that I’m 100% me, I can tell you exactly what I’d do.
I’d sit there. A little weirded out wondering if this was really happening. If there were others around, I’d have the silent eye conversations.
Otherwise I’d just be kind of amused and get through it so I could tell everybody about it over the next day or so.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:23
If nothing BUT for the story.
David Reply:
July 31st, 2009 at 07:32
Exactly.
I have done lots of things just to be able to say I have done them. Using that as my motivation.
July 29th, 2009 at 22:44
I would have sat right there and watched the whole thing from start to finish. It also may or may not have turned me on. I also may or may not have been taking notes. Just sayin’.
.-= Zandria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday, or Why Jagermeister is the Devil’s Kool-Aid =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:47
What I read is: I would have watched, it would have turned me on and dont mind me if I pull this notebook out and take some notes.
Just saying.
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:53
Yeah..that’s what I meant. My fingers are ignoring commands from my brain today. My syntax is all effed up.
AnyiguessicouldsharethesecretsinceitsTMIthursday…
I’d fucked one of the friends wayyy back in the day (like 10 years ago) when the other friend and I were “exclusively fucking.” But I really don’t understand why he would be mad about this when he and I were not *dating*; hell, we were just fuck buddies! And the other friend was willing to eat it. HE was not. I was getting the best of both worlds! At 18, what more can you ask for?
.-= Zandria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday, or Why Jagermeister is the Devil’s Kool-Aid =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:54
i would have fucked him too.
no more jager for you!
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:55
‘xactly…
But not only was it Jager, it was tanqueray and sprite, and one shot of patron. I forget in which order. Yah, I was asking for it!
.-= Zandria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday, or Why Jagermeister is the Devil’s Kool-Aid =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:56
oh i cant fuck with gin. i fight folks.
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:58
I used to be that way with gin. Now I just wanna fuck everybody. I don’t know what’s up with that!
.-= Zandria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday, or Why Jagermeister is the Devil’s Kool-Aid =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:00
uh you are a horny slutface?
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:01
THAT’S what it is!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:02
what did I win?
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:02
Hmmm…
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:03
HA HA HA. No digging of things. That is my only stipulation.
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:04
Oh, no, digging wouldn’t be required…bwahahahaha!
Lemme think about that one…
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:06
word. on that note. sweet dreams lovey.
Zandria Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 23:08
Good nite! Sweet dreams to you, too!
.-= Zandria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday, or Why Jagermeister is the Devil’s Kool-Aid =-.
July 29th, 2009 at 22:46
OMG…I am once again transported to Casslike thinking and can totally see you two doing this back then. Yes, you are the best wife ever.
“Maybe it is just to check to make sure that it is still there, and still large and in charge” cracked me up.
How many penis references does that make for the week? Ha!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:47
Hella. I truly think that I have an addiction.
Is there an “Im addicted to making penis references” 12 step?
Carol Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:50
LOL…no! But, it could make for a fun contest. Guess on a Monday the number of M-F penis references in the blog and comments. Count them up and whoever is closest could win the second copy of Submissive Confessions…cuz i”m guessing that D gets the first copy, signed by the author….among other treats!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 29th, 2009 at 22:53
this leads me to believe that you might have this game in the bag baby!
Carol Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 05:37
me? no…I barely make it here at 2 am or whenever…and once during the day. i imagine if i could go back and read all the comments a few days later…there are convos that have more cocktalk than i can imagine.
note to self: go check out the cocktalk.
it was a silly idea…just a fun way to either (a) encourage everyone to talk MOREcock…cuz, really…is there ever TOO much? or…(b)get everyone even more excited about SC…and what is more exciting than cock? well…if you are cock lover.
bwah…ha…ha…based on the pic you showed me of the xray, methinks that answer to (a) would be a yes. a big.FAT.yes!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:24
LOVE ME SOME COCKTALK.
HAHAHAHA. Also I really like that idea as far as re-exciting the readers about SC. I am almost done filling in the final editing of it so I can upload it into LULU.
July 30th, 2009 at 04:42
you young kids and the sexing in public places…….*shakes head* No joke…I would probably been offended as well and would have left long before the finish!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:25
I <3 public sex.
July 30th, 2009 at 04:42
D is one lucky Mother trucker!!! Strong work.
.-= justjp´s last blog ..Who would play you? =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:25
A wife’s gotta do what a wife’s gotta do.
July 30th, 2009 at 05:04
Nothing but klass, my friend.
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: The Family That Pees Together… =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:27
Bitches like us ONLY roll with that kind of class.
July 30th, 2009 at 05:51
Yeah, I absolutely think you’re the best wife ever.
.-= verybadcat´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: In Which I Serve My Country =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:28
*curtsy*
July 30th, 2009 at 06:38
HAHAHAHA!! You are definitely the best wife ever!
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..The bane of my existence =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:29
July 30th, 2009 at 07:18
Why does that never happen to me? I would love to watch a couple being dirty. I’d get to live vicariously since my bf will barely hold my hand, much less let me hold his…. other regions
.-= Jackie´s last blog ..The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow. ~ Norwegian Proverb =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 09:30
You dont let him LET you. You just do it and let him deal with it.
I guarantee, after a few strokes the protesting goes away.
July 30th, 2009 at 10:41
Back in the days when Mickey Mouse (Cherish) was dating Goofy (me) we were hanging out on the Peter Pan skull rock float at Disneyland, and things got a little out of hand. I ended up getting said HJ with about the same minimalist protest that D put up. Unfortunately, we weren’t far enough up in the float, and came out to an audience of about 40! Whoops!!!
Well, we both ended up suspended for 3 years, which ended up perfectly because I don’t think we left my condo the whole time. My parents were horrified when I told them about it, the girls all thought it was awful and shouldn’t have been done, but the guys all said I had the most awesome girl ever. “Who else would have the guts to do that.” was the most common thing I heard.
Obviously nobody left, because of the size of the audience we had, worst part of it though, was most of the audience was gay men!
As to you and D, what can I say… a ferry is not quite so public as Disneyland, where I have been caught 4 times. I would do a ferry…
Bret Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 10:42
Oops, that was a 3 day suspension, not three years…
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 10:55
OH HA HA HA HA BEST H.J. STORY EVER!!!
Bret Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 11:00
I don’t know… I had a lot of people asking me for dates after that… but I don’t love the cock like you, so it didn’t really work for me. Definitely embarrassing!
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 11:26
That is SO fucking funny.
July 30th, 2009 at 11:44
They were totally jealous…
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: No it’s snot =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 11:53
Right? I bet they dont even remember the last time they got any. HA HA HA
July 30th, 2009 at 12:55
you totally are the best wife EVER!
.-= Cassi´s last blog ..Where the eff did these Carpet Dudes come from?!?! =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 13:27
July 30th, 2009 at 18:03
The not-so-undercover HJ! My first high school girlfriend and I used to think no one noticed… when she would do it on a packed bus… on a field trip… to, like, a museum.
.-= f.B´s last blog ..i would play the fool =-.
LivingWicked Reply:
July 30th, 2009 at 21:58
Oh yeah. People noticed.
I am surprised you didnt get called out. Kids are mean.