TMIThursday: You Just Love My Doggystyle?
Jun 17, 2009 Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Sex, Suck It!, TMI Thursday's, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, love
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
When I first hooked up with D and we moved in together, we fucked like rabbits. (Not to say that we dont anymore. Read: we dont) We did all sorts of crazy things in crazy places at crazy times … sometimes with crazy guests.
So this one time, during a Crown Royal induced new couple fuck-fest, D and I were in that heated moment. You know the one where either one of you could get off at any moment (or in my case the BIG ‘O’ face … not the mini O’s that had happened prior to) but don’t reeeeally want to stop so you think about grammabaseballthat hairyguywholivesnextdoor(eww) so that you have the opportunity to prolong the “O”.
Ya with me? Sweet.
Anyway, we are in bed (for once) totally getting down. D is half standing, half kneeling on the bed while I am all pretty and my arse is propped up on a pillow. He is doing his best to prove whatever point it was he was trying to get across (if my memory serves me correctly this session very well was an “I fucking hate your face” session. Most of them were early on in our relationship) and I was … well, I was probably screaming profanities about it.
I.E.
“FUCK ME HARDER!”
“I LOVE YOUR COCK YOU SONOFABITCH”
“OMFG”(but in full text not IMism)
“FUCK YES!”
etc.
Anyway, all of a sudden he starts to make more noise than what he normally would make. The noises were familiar to a certian situation… but not this situation.
D was making blow-job/salad tossing noises.
So I kinda stop and look at his face at the very moment that he was realizing what was happening: Our friends dog who we had over at our house to mate with our dog was tongue deep in his business.
That’s what he said.
Actually, he said something more vulger.
I.E.
“WHAT THE FUCK!”
(to me) “THAT WASNT YOU?! I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR FINGERS LIKE WET OR SOMETHING FOR A MINUTE! ”
“BOLO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”
“OMG. I HAVE TO SHOWER. RIGHT NOW.”
etc.
I tried really hard not to laugh that day. (read: I laughed my ever loving ass off when he was in the shower, when he made the dog sleep outside because he was SO mad, and when he pouted for like the rest of the week about it.)
Even when I just texted him to ask him could I blog about it (of course I asked what kind of a wife do you think I am? (dont answer that.)) I got an “I guess” in response. $100 says he is pouting about me asking and actually doing right now. Wanna know how I know? I sent him another text: “I could say it is someone else’s story” and I got IGNORED.
I dunno what to tell him. If we can’t laugh at ourselves… right?!
What is your most embarassing/TMI sex moment?
What is your favorite Fair/Carnival Ride?
Tags: argument, doggystyle, grudge. new relationship, Sex
June 17th, 2009 at 21:00
Fucking awesome story, I loved it. You got me all in the mood, then bam. canine salad tosser.
Epic.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 21:13
My job here on TMIT is done.
June 17th, 2009 at 21:10
My first thought was “Does D actually KNOW she’s telling this story?!?!?!?”
And then I laughed out loud and almost woke the baby up.
I love Six Flags roller coasters. Not Wild Waves crap, I mean the real deal. Chicago and Buffalo are the best IMO.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 17th, 2009 at 21:15
HeeHeeHee.
He laughs at all of the other TMIers that I read to him… why not let others laugh at him!?
No?!
Meh. He will get over it. He is lucky I didn’t tell him about the one time… I joke.
Or DO I!?
June 18th, 2009 at 03:53
Nothing for D to be embarrassed of. Here he is in the privacy of his own home fucking his wife when a dog… (okay. it is funny.) It’s not like he’d been leading the dog on or anything. And so what if he couldn’t tell his wife’s fingers from a dogs expert tongue. Heat of the moment.
This girl I know tells us one day that she woke up from a deep sleep with her little Jack Russel licking her nipple and she had been enjoying it until she was awake enough to realize what was happening and now she felt guilty and weird about her dog. But I could tell it was deeper than what she had said and privately confronted her with my suspicion that the dog had been licking away at some other place. She admitted it. She had woke up slowly from a deep sleep totally having her naked vag getting eaten and too late realized it was her dog going to town like a pig in a trough.
Good morning, C.
David Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 03:54
Carnival ride…. The ones that get you wet.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:43
.
I dont even know what to say about this girl and her dog.
She didnt put peanut butter down there, did she?
David Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 13:48
No peanut butter, but I think she was freaked that her dog ate her snatch better than her boyfriend could.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 14:00
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAH
June 18th, 2009 at 03:58
WOW…HI-Larious!
Oh, and “I hate your face” sex is the BEST SEX IN THE FUCKING WORLD.
And yes, he will get over it. Shit happens. (Tee-hee)…that’s another story for another day.
Zandria’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: The Launch of the Crotch Rocket…
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:29
Yes. Yes it is.
June 18th, 2009 at 04:28
Carnival rides are NOT my friend…I used to be able to ride them all, but now my equilibrium is all fukaked and I end up puking!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:29
Cassie Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 10:42
nope, not even the Ferris Wheel….now I can ride roller coasters at amusement parks, but not carnival rides.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 10:50
This is a sad day. I wanted to ride the ferris wheel with you and hold your hand!
Cassie Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 10:54
lol
I might be able to be convinced…as long as you don’t rock the cart!!!!
my brother did that to me at the TOP one day and ALL the blood drained out of my face. I was as white as a sheet my mom said when we got back down!! lol
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 11:33
Oh HELL no.
I am scared of heights. I dont play that funny shit.
Cassie Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 12:44
OK THEN…I’ll ride with you and hold your hand!!! lol
June 18th, 2009 at 05:22
Best story ever! Too funny.
Jackie’s last blog post..Upside Down
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:30
June 18th, 2009 at 05:41
Best. TMI. Ever. Thanks for making my morning awesome!
Taylor’s last blog post..I do believe I’ve lost him
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:31
You are more than welcome.
June 18th, 2009 at 05:50
My jaw hit the fucking floor. That is the best story ever.
I am seriously LMAO right now.
My cat is like afraid of my naked boobs or something. Not that I TRY to get her to lay there but she is always laying on my chest when I lay down for bed, however if I am topless and my boobs are exposed she’ll jump on me but then crawl down to my legs to sleep. It cracks me up.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:37
My TMIT job here is done.
And LMAO at your cat.
June 18th, 2009 at 05:56
Maybe D’s got a little beastiality fetish in him….hmmmm?
Cameron’s last blog post..TMI Thursday – Heavy Petting Edition
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:41
HA HA HA!
I dunno about that.
June 18th, 2009 at 07:03
HAHAHA! That has happened to me before! It sucks.
justjp’s last blog post..WRW Edition of TMI Thursday
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 08:42
Your butthole will never be the same again, eh?
June 18th, 2009 at 09:13
I’m pretty sure you changed the ending… you guys didn’t actually stop, did you?
DID YOU?
LiLu’s last blog post..Thanks, W: A Different Kind of TMI
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 09:33
Yes. We stopped. He went limp like biscuit.
flora Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 10:55
LMFAO – limp like biscuit…
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 11:37
June 18th, 2009 at 13:24
OMG OMG OMG that is HILARIOUS!! you should give him something special tonight for allowing you to post this. THANK YOU! hahahahaha
Hannah-Lane’s last blog post..I’m totally about to be incarcerated
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 13:41
(I totally AM. I went and found a big slobbery puppy dog. Perfect for the occasion.)
June 18th, 2009 at 14:14
That story is waaaaaaaaaaay better than the stories about the couple that is gettin’ it on and the cat suddenly attacks the doods ballsa.
Stephanie’s last blog post..TMI Thursday-Read At Your Own Risk
LivingWicked Reply:
June 18th, 2009 at 14:27
omg. that is painful and not at all funny. (okay it kinda is.)
June 18th, 2009 at 22:27
omfg!! that is HILARIOUS!!
Cassi’s last blog post..When your baby gives you….