TMIThursday: “Uhh I Just Need to Use the Potty…”
Jun 3, 2009 I WIN!, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Sex, TMI Thursday's
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
So… One time at bandcamp … *giggle* Not really. I never went to bandcamp.
Really though, back when I was in the military, if you were a female it went like this: You were either one of the guys … or you were fucked by one of the guys.
Or, in this case… allllllllllllll of the guys.
When we played we played hard. Just like in every military town, there were the trashy whores that were too often referred to as ‘military wives’ (Heather don’t get mad you know the herd I am referring to) who really arent wives but more just the broads who loved the anticipation of their ‘men’ returning home from deployment. Just like the men, they fucked pretty much every cock and balls in sight while we were out.
I know this because 1) I am smart and 2) I have seen some pretty whore-ific pictures of it.
Anyway, the boys who didnt have heffa’s on the pier waiting would all get together and flock to that one cheap ass nasty motel that is located a cum-shot away from any Navy base. Some females (me) would go and rip it up wit h them as friends. I can honestly say that out of the group of 15-25, I had sex with maybe 2 of them. Maybe. But I am going to stand firm to one. It is one of those pride things for me where because I was the minority and because it was assumed that because I was a female that I was automatically assumed that I was a just-add-water-slut, that I refused to let them win. (So I moved up the Chain of Command and fucked the Officers. *wink*)
Other females were invited strictly because they actually had become just-add-water-sluts. There was this one slut who was just … wow … I don’t even know how to describe her. She came to every party with her mini sweater and painted on jeans. Her laugh was annoying, her make-up too thick for how cute she was… but we tolerated her because we knew that we would get a show.
I never really expected the show that I got that one night at that one party.
So after a 45 day training deployment, we were all amped to get fucked up. Payday hit the day before we pulled into port, so we already had planned on 1) how many bottles and 2) how many rooms we were going to get and what the $$ breakdown would be each. We got super lucky and scored the adjoining rooms.
Fast forward to hours later. We were all smashed. I had to pee.
The line to the bathroom in 1 of the rooms was like 4 people long due to another dumb slut being drank under the table and throwing it all back up… so I jet over to the other room that was originally dubbed as the hook up room because it was set up like a one bedroom apartment. Problem was, the bathroom was inside the bedroom. So I open the adjoining door to the room and there were a good 5-6 guys standing in a line outside of the bedroom door.
Me: “Are you kidding me?! This bathroom too?”
Strange guy: “Not the bathroom…”
Me: “Uhh can I just go in there then? I wont look, I just really need to use the potty.”
Strange guy: “I dont give a fuck.”
Sweeeeeeeeet.
So I weave through the dudes and ignore the “I wouldn’t go in there” s because I had it set in my mind that I was about to pee. One way or another, the pee was coming out at this point.
So I open the door and as much as I said I wouldn’t look… I fucking looked. And I couldn’t believe what I saw.
There was that one slut, on the bed with cocks in all of her orafaces. She looked up at me, whore-ified… cock-in-mouth… unable to speak. I stood there for a second, also speechless… before I realized that in my moment of fucking shock, the pee had started to come out. I bolted for the bathroom so fucking fast.
Luckily for me, the pee casualty was minimal. Ask me if I peed with the door open so I wouldn’t miss anything. G’head. Like when the one guy told her to shut up and take it when she tried to protest since I had apparently “ruined the mood”. Uhm no bitch. You got busted.
It was live porn. LIVE.
Ask me if I kept my mouth shut. *snicker* Fuck no I didn’t. Not even for a minute. As soon as I walked back into the party I was yakkin it up. I am pretty sure that I told everyone.
*sigh* I loved the military. Never a dull moment. Not ever.
(Also, in talking about this with D… he is convinced that this experience has everything to do with my GB fantasy. I think he might be right. I never thought of it before. Weird.)
Happy Thursday!!!!!!
(As always but no one ever does… feel free to share TMI’s of your own either in actual comments or links to your own blogs)
Tags: Deployment, hotel, just add water, military wife, navy
June 4th, 2009 at 04:37
Do you really want TMIs? I”m reminded of the guys in your story who said “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you” and the next thing you know you are staring at the ugly depths of sexual fulfillment with piss running out of you.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:38
You crack me up.
Let me remind you that is was like 1998 and I was reeeeeeeeally young. Today, I would have KNOWN there was a gangbang going on and ran as fast as I could to videotape it.
Then… well I was expecting missionary.
David Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 13:32
Here is a TMI story… (you asked for it)
I’m jerking off one day and really going at it like no one is watching when somehow one of my nails scrapes the head of my penis making a small laceration. But considering the nature of the engorged penis, blood is pumping out of this little cut in freakish samurai flick amounts. I’m naked with my hard dick in my hand and watching blood pour out of it in rhythm with my heart. Just fascinated. And, I mean, a lot of blood is leaving me.
So I had the options of stop what I’m doing and wait for the erection to subside and lose lots of blood or hurry up and finish considering the post orgasm would make the blood loss a bit more minimal.
So I opt for the later and I am totally going to town on myself. Beating off like an idiot in hell. Blood everywhere. Drops of it flying off the parts of me moving. Dripping off the parts that aren’t. Pulsating stream still coming out of the tiny tear in the poor head of my cock.
But the blood is like warm lube. I’m not gonna lie. That plus the exciting rush to finish before losing more blood made me come like I was 13 again, and I shot gallons of semen all over my bloody self. (removed description of visual) And as I wilted, the bleeding just stopped. Evacuated of two different fluids, my junk just went back to sleep leaving me one hell of a mess to clean up.
oookay.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 13:51
HOLY SHIT!
That was like a life or death situation. Good choice Samurai.
June 4th, 2009 at 05:10
I don’t really have any TMIs… my life is pretty plain lol.
And David’s comment made me laugh til my tummy hurt.
Squish’s last blog post..Linkage
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:38
Me too. He is kinda awesome.
June 4th, 2009 at 05:30
The way I see it. If you’re having an orgy at a party where there are other peeps besides the ones you’re getting freaky with and one of them barges in- you got no business being horrified/embarrassed about your actions. Ask the person to join and get back to your business.
Just sayin’
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:39
A-motherfucking-MEN.
June 4th, 2009 at 05:39
some people have no cooth!
Caroline’s last blog post..TMI THURSDAY: POTTY TRAINING
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:39
EXACTLY!
June 4th, 2009 at 05:43
ALL her orifices?!?!!? I count seven. I’d have definitely pee’d with the door open.
David’s comment brought forth a literal snort.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:45
I know right?! Like if I was in the same mindset as I am today I would have had a video camera charging and ready for moments like this.
June 4th, 2009 at 06:16
LMAO
I don’t know if I could have walked away from that….piss running down my leg and all!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:45
HA HA HA HA!
June 4th, 2009 at 07:24
I would have stood right there and watched, with pee running down my leg.
That’s how classy I am.
I started my diet today!! Whooooo!!!!!
How’s yours going??
Briana’s last blog post..Thank You!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:46
You are REALLY classy.
I am doing really well. I will update tomorrow.
Briana Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 10:21
OMG I messed up! I ate a Popsicle. I thought I bought the right ones…but instead of sugar free I bought “no added sugar”. I got the right fudgsicles but shit. I’m so mad! I was doing so good today!
Briana’s last blog post..Thank You!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 10:33
Dont freak out. I have cheated a little. Even by accident. You arent gonna fail.
June 4th, 2009 at 08:14
Oh wow. That might be one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. I mean we’ve all “accidently stumbled” across a few letters to Penthouse, but you got a live show! I’m incredulous.
Lost Artist’s last blog post..Today you get to see the extent of The Crazy
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 08:49
I know right!? The sad part is, I didn’t even appreciate it then.
June 4th, 2009 at 09:02
I have major GB fantasies. Hmmmmmmmmm I may see what I can work out for Vegas. I know a hooker there that runs a string of *coughgentlemensclubscough* I have a standing invite anytime I’m in town.
lmao porn is good for something!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 09:11
Hmmm…
June 4th, 2009 at 10:27
Never in my life would I imagine that I would be called out in a navy gang bang blog. However, it is pretty fitting that I am called out as the one who would get indignant if I were somehow included in the category of slutty military wives. LOL!
I think I remember reading about this on your Myspace a long time ago.
I do know the crowd, I have a few on my FB friends list. I may not be one to do what they do (as I wouldn’t know strange if it smacked me in my face) but I try not to judge because I know what this life is like.
What? It’s not by business who’s getting theirs with whom as long as it’s not my man, and as long as I don’t get dragged into the inquiry when the husband does return.
I didn’t see nothin.
It is however easier for me to understand on a long term deployment basis when people slip over 45 days. Are Navy wives typically hornier and sluttier than army wives?
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 10:36
HA HA HA! I thought you might enjoy the shout out.
You are one of the few wives I know that doesn’t wild out when the man is away.
I think Navy wives are generally sluttier in general. (I know I pissed some broad the eff off right here. )
Heather G Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 11:00
What can I say, I’m a nun.
(You know, I can hear you laughing)
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 13:20
HA HA HA
June 4th, 2009 at 10:58
Aw, come on. What’s a little gang bang among friends?
*crickets*
LiLu’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: One Woman’s Trash Is Another Kitty’s Treasure
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 13:20
*snort*
June 4th, 2009 at 11:28
Wow…now that is why those damned Kegels come in handy! I’d have been standing there doing the pee-pee dance and Kegel-ing…she should have been proud that her performance had an audience…I’d have been!
Happy TMIT!
Zan’s last blog post..TMI Thursday, Part Deux: Dear Gag Reflex, I hate you. Sincerely, Zan
Zan Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 11:30
Oh, and I’m not going to lie…I was a huge whore when I was in the Army…I only wish I’d have had the wherewithal to attempt an all-orifice exploration. It would have saved a lot of time!
Zan’s last blog post..TMI Thursday, Part Deux: Dear Gag Reflex, I hate you. Sincerely, Zan
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 13:21
OMG I JUST LAUGHED SO LOUD.
June 4th, 2009 at 16:58
you know what’s sad, is that my Slutty Days occured before i had The Sex. so i was basically a kissing whore. i sort of regret it now, because i am past the point where i can justify a gang bang these days. ;-P
Alice’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: not for the eyeball squeamish
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 17:54
hahahahahahahaha
June 4th, 2009 at 18:39
Pee casualty. *giggle snicker* PEE CASUALTY!!!!!
Jaime @ Fast Times’s last blog post..I swear I’m not a pervert!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 4th, 2009 at 19:02
you are so cute.
Jaime @ Fast Times Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 05:09
Psh. You’re the one that wrote it. lolz
<3
Jaime @ Fast Times’s last blog post..I swear I’m not a pervert!
June 5th, 2009 at 06:45
no tmi’s from me today…always enjoy a good “had to pee sooooo bad” kinda story.
speaking of which….lol