TMIThursday: M is for Maggot
Jun 10, 2009 DUH, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Random, TMI Thursday's, Wicked & D Quotables, Yum... or Lack There Of.
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
Once upon a Wicked-time (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before there was a baby Charli) D, X and I lived in a pretty green house on a hill incline. We were mid-way through the party phase of our life … during my daily experimentation with substances that shall remain nameless (read: blow). Needless to say, our attentiveness/remembrance to the little things (read: when the trash was supposed to be on the curb) was a blur of wastedness.
So needless to say there were a couple of times that we would miss the garbage man.
One overly muggy and hot August evening, D and I and friends were up til sunrise doing what party people do. We were hanging out, yakking it up while D stood in the doorway of the patio smoking a cig. The mixture of the moonlight and the light from the neighbors patio hit the concrete.
The ground was moving. Like a wave of movement that looked in the shadow as if someone had left the garden hose on and water had flooded the patio.
Me: “D! Do you see that?!”
D: “What?”
Me: “The concrete is moving!”
Friend: “Courtni is fucking CUT OFF!”
Me: “Shut up. I am serious. D turn on the flood light.”
D, looking at me like I was crazy on too many drugs reached to flip the switch.
D: “JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST!”
All of us: “OMG WHAT IS IT!?”
D: “You HAVE to fucking see this.”
So we all get up from our perches and rush over to the window, only to see what could possibly be the nastiest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life:
A sea of maggots.
Yes. You read that correctly.
All over my patio were hundreds of little fly larvae, squirming around on top of one another… making every hair on my body stand at attention. D and I look at each other, completely bewildered as to how in the hell it happened. D, the brave one in the bunch (because there was no way in hell I was going out into the maggot-battlefield) grabbed his mag-lite and began inspecting while us pussies watched from afar inside behind the glass window.
Horrified, D points the flashlight at the garbage can.
D: “Can you fucking SEE that?!”
We all look toward the light, and, even nastier than Maggot Sea on my patio was the fact that they were spilling out of my garbage can. (I totally just fucking cringed at the memory of this) These little fuckers were SPILLING out of the garbage. Picture boiling macaroni. When the water boils over and the white foam SPILLS over the side of the pan?! Okay so that, but MAGGOTS.
Get the picture?
I know, right!?
D tried bleach. He tried Lysol. He tried to sweep them up with a push broom … but they wouldn’t die. So one of our friends gets the bright idea to use gasoline and set them on fire.
You laugh. I know. I laughed too. But that shit worked, and it was also really funny to watch these 3 drunk boys light bugs on fire. In fact if I do remember correctly, one of my friends caught himself on fire while doing it. I don’t know if I would have found it funny now, but hey we were young and dumb. It was funny to watch him run around my patio trying to pat himself down.
So the gasoline and fire killed them… and we the 3 boys had to spray the patio down to rid ourselves of the remnants of them.
As far as the trash is concerned? Well 1) we never ever forgot to take that shit out after that and 2) D dumped gas in to the can and took it down to the curb.
Ick. I hate bugs. Especially fly babies.
I just Googled “How to kill a maggot” and got this result which I thought was gross but funny:
Foolproof Natural Organic Maggot elimination technique:
1) Place Maggot between thumb and index finger.
2) Rapidly bring thumb and index finger together.
3) Wipe hands on pants.
4) Repeat steps 1-3 until maggots are eliminated.
How about NO.
First of all … GROSS … and second of all somehow I dont think that would have been an effective way of eliminating the maggots that were trying to take over my patio.
Tags: fire, garbage man, gasoline, maggot, trash
June 11th, 2009 at 02:20
I will never look at macaroni the same again…
/shudder
Squish’s last blog post..Don’t Know When I’ll Be Back Again!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:10
Sorry. Kinda.
June 11th, 2009 at 04:12
Yea, you just ruined mac n cheese for me forever… all my hair is standing up.. eew!
Jackie’s last blog post..Letting it all hang out
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:10
I partially apologize.
June 11th, 2009 at 04:20
Gas works wonders on ants and spiders too…..just sayin!!!
Justice Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 06:49
omg. Dan totally toasted a spider with a lighter and a can of hairspray in front of the kids the other day.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:11
OMG were the kids totally enthralled?!
June 11th, 2009 at 05:39
I HATE maggots, just the thought of them creeps me out, I would have flipped a nutty if there was a sea of them on my porch.
BUT, I’m totally going to eat mac and cheese tonight, YUM! ;P
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:11
June 11th, 2009 at 05:55
Uggggghhh. *vomit*
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:11
hee hee hee.
June 11th, 2009 at 05:56
Oh my god, gross. I’m so glad I live in an apartment and just have to drop the trash off whenever it’s full. There’s no remembering a specific time. Speaking of…
Just A Girl’s last blog post..I have a confession…I’m not really a woman
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:12
That is a great part of apartment living. I would trade the remembering for a fenced yard though. Any day of the week.
June 11th, 2009 at 06:01
maggots are the most gross thing ever!
mylittlebecky’s last blog post..dog lovin’ (tmit)
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:12
I AGREE!
June 11th, 2009 at 06:21
Oh God. I can feel things crawling under my skin right now. I am not shitting you.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:12
(sorry. kinda)
June 11th, 2009 at 06:48
Once upon a time….in a land far far away, there lived a special white wolf who was bred into captivity. Because his owners were native american, they were allowed to posess said creature without the same ramifications that WE would face in owning said animal. His name was Nicki (Nick-eye). At one point, early in his youth, his indian family abandon him. He was never properly adopted, but allowed to roam between his previous home and the new one, where he was fed and treated like a king. For the duration of his lifetime, he served as silent protector, who slinked along in front of, or behind a person who he loved in the dark of night, and the light of day. Watching and waiting for bigger, more dangerous creatures. One day…..when he was very elderly, and his time was near, he wandered off and never returned. It was August 2004. I was 9 months pregnant and I loved him so. One evening, Doug’s brother, Lynn came up to the house and told us that there was this HORRIBLE smell. I, of course, waddled, across 20 acres, down a steep slope or three, to investigate. What I came upon was the most vile sight that I have EVER seen. Yes indeed, a see of maggots.
What happened after that, was even more vile. A hole had to be dug, and the body buried. Yes, simple enough, but YOU TOUCH THAT SHIT!!! Top it all off with the fact that the dew claws on a white wolf are considered somewhat sacred to a native american and my aunt INSISTED that we cut them off and give them to the indians who were meerly showing up at their home once a month or two. Ray vomited, and my aunt could not DO IT!!.
WHO DID THAT LEAVE!? Yes indeed. I donned a pair of stolen hospital rubber gloves and did my deed. 9 months pregnant. Without vomiting. Or crying.
Until I was done.
NEVER again. EVER.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:14
Oh. MY. GOD.
There is no way in the world I could have ever done that. Not now. Not pregnant. Not ever.
June 11th, 2009 at 07:26
that’s the sort of situation where it’s probably much, much better to be drunk / high / etc… because dealing with a sea of writhing maggots (GAG) while completely sober and rational would be NOT OK for me.
Alice’s last blog post..probably payback for never catching sars
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:14
I totally agree with this comment. Blech. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.
June 11th, 2009 at 07:29
Oh, ew. I’ve had minor occurrences, but nothing as bad as that…
EW!
Happy TMIT!
verybadcat’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: Poop Vengeance
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:15
Happy TMIT to you!
June 11th, 2009 at 08:12
-gag- There goes brunch. My hungers been cured. lol
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:15
My job here is done.
June 11th, 2009 at 08:43
I am NOT looking at the oatmeal in my cup right now. I’m not, I’m not, IMNOT!!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 08:50
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
June 11th, 2009 at 08:55
That is totally messed up. I thought people were more attentive to things like that went on coke. Hmm, must be meth. My mistake.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 09:05
HAHAHA. Maybe it just wasnt a present thought that missing the trash pick up would result in a bajillion and 1 maggots.
June 11th, 2009 at 09:39
You said Mag-Light.
Hahahaha
LivingWicked Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 09:43
hahahahaha yes I did.
June 11th, 2009 at 19:06
One of my earliest nightmares from childhood had my friends in line to ride a Merry-go-round at a fair. But I either didn’t want to get on it or I was left alone last with all the horses and carts and stuff taken. Every 30 seconds or so, the ride would stop for a second and I realized that whatever was under a certain spot when it stopped would inject the kid full of maggots. Enough to turn them a different color. I’m not afraid of much, but I fucking hate maggots.
Zandria Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 20:24
OMFG! Hell, NO! *runs away screaming and gagging*
Zandria’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: Revenge is a Dish Best Served…
June 11th, 2009 at 20:23
I honestly did not want to read this at first…the title scared me off because I had a BAD EXPERIENCE with mag…ugh I can’t even type “maggots” (I just did, huh?)…those things when I was younger, so…yeah…let’s just say that it was a LONG time before I could eat rice again. *shudder*
Anymaggotsarefuckinggross…I’m glad you resolved your issue!
Zandria’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: Revenge is a Dish Best Served…
June 11th, 2009 at 20:33
i just threw up in my mouth… hoping not to make it a carpet puke next time… *gag*
Cassi’s last blog post..Optimism returns!!
Cassi Reply:
June 11th, 2009 at 20:35
and if I had read the subject, I TOTALLY wouldn’t have read this blog (no offense) but you can bet your cute little ass that from now on I will ALWAYS read your subject before blindly DIVING into your unknown blogness
again.. *gag*
Cassi’s last blog post..Optimism returns!!
June 12th, 2009 at 07:52
At least they were outdoors.
Excuse me while I go take a shower…
LiLu’s last blog post..You Wan Me Fluff You Pillow?
June 23rd, 2009 at 15:43
I just bought a home in Novemeber 2008. Really did not have huge bug problem. However the house did have mice and still does. We need to repair the whole in the wall under the sink and then get a CAt to solve most the issue. The traps have not worked.
But just a few days ago, I had the same problem. Had maggots all over the floor and they just migrated in all different parts of the house. Such as the hallway, kitchen and living room carpet. Or they could be coming from all parts of the house.
I poured boric acid all over the house to get rid of the infestation of cockroaches I just discovered a couple days ago. So maybe the boric acid brought them out. NOT SURE though????
I flushed everyone I saw down the toilet and bombed the house to discover a bunch of dead ones. Then the next day there was more dead ones and some that were somewhat living. Then I discovered a few that had already turned into cacoons yesterday. I am so disgusted, because I spend so much time trying to keep my house spotless. And to have this happen is a complete insult to my cleaning abilites. We have a huge fly problem too. I think that is due to all the farm animals in the neighborhood. So it could either be something dead like a bird, rat, mouse etc. or just plain out Fly Larvae. Not sure. But I haven’t seen any maggots since. I hope they don’t come back. I am doing everything right now to quarantine my kids from certain areas in the house.