Stage 5 *cough*male*cough* Clingers.
Jun 8, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, DUH, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Relationships, Sex, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Sup?! *Head Nod*
I am tired and have finals all week so this will be as quick as a boy virgin potentially putting his peeter in Nadia’s vagina.
Speaking of vagina, I was thinking about something recently: BoyStalkers.
I know a girl who’s vajay is like the magical land of Oz. When she O-faces, it is like glitter and diamonds shoot out in a really pretty manor. Her vagina sings the music that you hear at the end of every overly dramatic movie upon the thought of penile penetration. Every time she meets a guy, lays out the terms (idontwannadateyou,dontblowupmyphonepleasenthanx, justcomeoveranddomewhenicall), and then gives up the butt. casually… they become pussyzombies.
*I* have experienced this specific vagina. It is an amazing vagina… don’t get me wrong. But it is not stalker vajay. I haven’t experienced a crotch that great in the history of vagina’s.
What is it with men? They act all aloof about females, like they could take it or leave it. Yet, when a girl so much as switches roles and doesn’t portray this clingy, needy co-dependant person… the men are the ones who act like bitches.
“Why aren’t you calling me back?!”
“When can we hang outandmore!?”
“I looooooooooooooooove you.”
“I have a haiku I wrote in your honor.”
“I want to spoon”
“When can I see you again?”
“Can we cuddle?”
“Can we spend every single fucking waking moment staring into each other’s eyes?”
Really!?
What the crap is my friend supposed to do in this situation??? She wants a booty call. One that is no bullshit, call him and he comes over … shuts the hell up … fucks her until she is blue in the face … and then leave unless she privelages him to sleep over and have morning sex. Is this too much to ask in a bachelor?
She is not a pussy-game-player. She doesn’t act like there is anything more than what you see in front of your face…. and every single time she hooks up with a guy…. he wigs the hell out.
Almost every single one of these guys have made the statement in one way or another: “I hate dealing with clingy broads.”
Really? Do you? Is it because you would rather own the static cling in a relationship? I do not understand how she does it. And I am not even close to being jealous either. Fuck all of that.
Reason #634634263789854693992 why I love that I am happy as a clam married: No stage 5 clingers. <— I would shank a fool if I had to deal with this crap.
Have you ever had a stage 5 clinger mayday situation?
Words of advice for my friend?
What is the worst excuse you have ever been given/had to give a clingy person in order to leave you the hell alone?
Tags: casual sex, dating, friend, single, stalker
June 8th, 2009 at 22:40
oh gosh dont get me started. i think its inspired me NOT to be clingy. ive found myself so fed up with guys im almost to the i just want a booty call and nothing more stage. does that make me a slut? i mean i havent been..but im just saying maybe just with one guy hahahaha. i think im still too heart broken from my last relationship. anyways i think ussually what i do is just say im tired or im busy or just never respond. im ussually pretty honest though,even after i say im not interested i will never be interested go away they still think i will come around. its weird. like i said,teaches me what NOT to do. lol.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:06
This does make you a slut. But slut is not always a bad thing IMO. People just MAKE it out to be negative.
I know plenty of sluts that are AWESOME.
June 8th, 2009 at 23:01
I am currently experiencing this with 2 different guys … one I was actually dating for a time and was actually interested in something more with – well.. until I wasn’t at least but there is a back story to that in that after 6 months he still wasn’t ready to declare it a relationship and I got sick of waiting, either things were going to move forward or they weren’t and the sex was not good enough for him to be a fuck buddy (long term that can be worked on, but for a casual thing he needs to be good to start with) … 15 months down the track and he is still messaging me trying to get me to go to dinner again – I did go for dinner with him in august last year, but did not let him come inside afterwards despite his pleas…
the other was a fuck buddy up until I started dating the man mentioned above, as soon as I started seeing man A being that I liked him enough to pursue a potential relationship I decided it was time to say goodbye to man b (and man’s c and d actually but they were even more casual then man b haha being that they lived in a different city)… man b was my booty call man, 2am calls for a lift home from a night out and all that… anyway I digress… November 2007 is the last time i saw man b and still even now, once a month without fail I get either an email or an sms from him seeing if I’m interested … which I no longer am. How many times does a man have to be told no, or I’m busy for the next 12 months *snicker* before they’ll give it up…
apparently I am also vessel to a magical vajay haha
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:08
YOU ARE!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is yet another reason why I love you.
June 9th, 2009 at 00:03
Guys like this turned me off being clingy in a relationship. I’ve only ever had it with two guys. But just the sheer annoyance of having them call constantly frustrated me beyond belief. Especially since one of them laid down the rule “No have a relationship or anything form this”. Then he started calling me pretty much every night, just to chat, and ask how things were going. I ended up calling it off.
I’ve never given a worst excuse though, I just bluntly said to him I wasn’t in it for him to get all clingy on me and that I think things should end there. 6 whole months and we went separate ways.
I sound like such a whore.
Jassie’s last blog post..A Little Bit Of Everything
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:10
You totally DO sound like one. But I love it.
Whore is one of my many middle names.
June 9th, 2009 at 02:24
Ohh. Explaining all this is easy. But it will be when I return. It’s like 5:30 in the morning and I only got up to pee. I’ll be back.
David Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 04:30
Because the needs are the same even if the psychology varies.
You meet an attractive girl, good in bed, who isn’t clingy and you think that is awesome. You like awesome girls. You wanna girl like that. At least get to know her better.
Men are freaky insecure. Look at the men in your life ladies. It’s true.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:11
This is so so so so true.
June 9th, 2009 at 04:33
Have you ever had a stage 5 clinger mayday situation? nope….not ever
Words of advice for my friend? own a pistol?
What is the worst excuse you have ever been given/had to give a clingy person in order to leave you the hell alone? no excuses from me…I just tell them to leave me the hell alone b/c i own said pistol!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:13
*snort*
MUFUCKA IF YOU DONT STOP CALLIN ME IMA GET MY MUFUCKIN PISTOL!
Cassie Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:17
yep, pretty much that is EXACTLY how the convo goes……
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:27
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
June 9th, 2009 at 05:38
She needs to find a recently divorced dad type guy:
Sex – yes
Commitment to some hot chick who’ll want her own kids someday – no
Sex whenever she wants it – yes
No sleepovers – no problem
Sex in her butt – yes
Singing vaginas & glitter everywhere – meh whatever
…just sayin
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:14
ROF @ sex in her butt– yes.
June 9th, 2009 at 06:49
*le sigh* This is exactly why Dan was PERFECT. I didn’t know what I wanted at the time so I needed just a consistent booty call. Which is what he wanted because his wife was putting out to everyone but him.
I don’t know if it’ a ‘fortunately or unfortunately’ kinda situation….but he needed more and I obviously needed more and now we are having a baby and I haven’t left his apartment in more than two months and we have a ‘relationship’.
But still….I had this THING going on. I was the ‘player’ in the relationship and every fucking one of those bastards that I saw ALWAYS CAME BACK!!! Well beyond the final curtain call, begging for more. Ignoring them, or finally breaking their hearts was enough to make them leave me the fuck alone. And I find it comical because I wouldn’t consider myself ‘worthy’ of such attention. I ‘was’ a fat single mom with three kids for crying out loud. Three kids I delivered vaginally so I’m sure the pussy can’t be nearly as rocking as they proclaim. Must have been the BJ’s LMFAO
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:21
Kids make no difference. Good pussy is good pussy. The end.
June 9th, 2009 at 08:25
umm… yah i never had that… haha
and i totally just printed out that “this is my space” pic and am going to get it printed up on business cards so that when i am standing in line at the store, which this always happens to me, some freak who seems to think velcro’ing themselves to my ass is going to make the line move faster, then I can whip out the card and go “here bucko! here is a diagram!”
ahh, just talking about it makes me feel at peace
sweeeeeeet!
Cassi’s last blog post..Optimism returns!!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:36
DUDE. That fucking pic is MY FAVORITE.
June 9th, 2009 at 08:44
Is it OK that I like my clinger? He makes me laugh. And he’s got good dick… when he chooses to that is!
I think I choked on my coffee when he told me 1) how much he loves my pussy and 2) when he sent me a text saying I must have replaced him with someone else because I hadn’t called him that week.
See! I like my clinger. He’s funny as hell!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 08:52
That is a different kind of clinger.
June 9th, 2009 at 11:09
I feel bad for not having anything to say worth saying for like two weeks now……but I’m still here, I swear.
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 11:50
I love your cammo shorts.
June 9th, 2009 at 15:20
she should have them sign an agreement prior to said sexual encounters. Barney Stenson Style.
Squish’s last blog post..Open Letter to McDonalds
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 20:51
OH. MY. GOD.
Squish Reply:
June 10th, 2009 at 04:40
I assume all “oh my god”s are good unless otherwise stated. So there.
Squish’s last blog post..Open Letter to McDonalds
June 9th, 2009 at 16:44
Men are just as susceptible to falling for a chick with good pussy as a woman is to falling for a man with good dick. Like David said, we are all human, and we all have needs. Your friend seems to exude all the characteristics of the “ideal” woman.
When I’m doing the secks with a guy, and he says “Damn you got some good pussy,” my first thought is, “Damn, I’ve a got a problem.”
And it never fails.
ZanTx915’s last blog post..TMI Thursday, Part Deux: Dear Gag Reflex, I hate you. Sincerely, Zan
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 20:51
HA. Right!?
June 9th, 2009 at 17:27
GIRL! I am going through it RIGHT NOW! He is sweet, don’t get me wrong. He also lives 2 hours away and wants to come up here and stay every time the little one is at her daddy’s. He says “we can cuddle” or “lets just hang out”. Are you kidding? I told him outright “I am just using you” and he says “haha, nu uh” oh yes sweety, yes I am. The texting HAS TO STOP! It’s madness! Pure Madness!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 20:52
Dang. Stage 5 Man-Clinger for sure.
June 9th, 2009 at 18:41
Note to self– stop being the clingy one and tell them to get the hell out after sex. Don’t call them. Don’t text them.
I’m doing it alllllll wrong!!
LivingWicked Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 20:52
Yes. Yoou. Are.
June 10th, 2009 at 01:04
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