TMIThursday: D’s in Love with a Stripper?
May 27, 2009 Masturbate-able, Sex, TMI Thursday's, This Thing Called Marriage.
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
For our honeymoon, D and I traveled to a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in Victoria, B.C. for a long weekend. We didn’t really have a ton of money, but we were able to dine out and have an amazing steak dinner, find some good ‘Jane’, and some even better sex in our Romeo and Juliet suite.
The second night we were there, we decided to check out this strip club that came highly recommended we passed by in a drunken stooper the night before. So we got all pretteh-fied and pre-funked in the room, and headed out to watch some titties.
We had no idea what we were in store for.
Once we arrived, we I find a nook/booth in the back of the club and we get cozy. Little did I know that D mentioned to the bouncer that we were on our honeymoon (dick) and that we he would love a front row seat when available. Imagine my surprise when the DJ congratulated us on our nuptuals and laced us with the best VIP seats in the house. Oh and dinner was on them too. Gee thanks.
I was apprehensive. I wanted to stay in my safe place in the back corner of the club. But I was a good sport and moved to the front. We watched several choreagraphed shows which were all really good. They were more performances than your traditional skank kabob on stage. The last dancer of the night was this beautiful exotic woman. She had long brown hair and greenish eyes. She came out to “Foxy Lady” and started her routine. D had a boner as soon as she dropped her caramel brown ass like it was hawt in front of our faces.
He grabbed out an American $5 (back when US currency was actually worth a shit in Canada) and attempted to give it to her. She smiled, took it, and shoved it down my shirt, proceeding to take it from me with her teeth. As annoyed as D was pretended to be, he kept feeding her money. Each time, she would take it from him, and give it to me, only to take it with various parts of her body.
The last time she took his money, she leaned in to whisper something to him. D looked at me, looked back at her, shrugged his shoulders and said “Go ahead.” So she put the money where she put it at, and reached down for my hands. I looked at D to try and figure out 1) what she asked 2) what she could “go ahead” and do 3) why he was taking my shoes off of me and 4) why I was being pulled on stage.
Yes. She was pulling me on stage. ON STAGE.
This strip club was packed to the maximum capacity.
There I was, vehemently shaking my head no… insisting that it was really okay… that I did NOT need to get on stage. Frantically, I looked back at D to get some sort of support from my new husband.
Ask me what he was doing. G’head.
He was chanting with all of the other boners in the club. “GET ON STAGE! GET ON STAGE! GET ON STAGE!” and “SHOWER! SHOWER! SHOWER!”
The next thing I knew, I was almost fully naked in this shower on stage. I couldn’t hear the music, or myself think because the pervs in the place were roaring louder than anything I had ever heard in my life. This broad was doing things to me that (at the time) I had never really done before, giving these fools an unforgettable show. I don’t remember if I had the opportunity to cum or not, if I sucked my stomach in or not… and I sure as hell don’t remember giving her or anyone permission to take my clothes off in front of everyone.
But the aftermath of the impromptu girl-on-girl action was worth every second. D was treated like a king, getting all kinds of love for having such a kick ass wife. He definitely got an ego stroke that night… and he still brags about it to this day.
Tags: honeymoon, newlywed, shower, stripper, TMI Thursday, victoria
May 27th, 2009 at 20:46
woah. that is pimpin. best story EVER.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 20:49
EVER!?
May 27th, 2009 at 20:50
so far anyways. its probably the alcohol. dude,i want that to happen to me. but drunk.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 20:59
I was drunk.
May 27th, 2009 at 21:00
that is hottttt <3 again,best story so far. thats epic.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:01
epic?
you are cut off.
dani Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:04
awwwwwww….im a nerd
you know you love me.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:10
ha ha ha ha
dani Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:12
dont deny it!!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:13
Who is denying it?
dani Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:15
dont deny your love for my nerdy ass. i will smack it!!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:16
are you threatening me!?
dani Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:17
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:19
you freak.
dani Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:21
im a freakk yeahhhhh
dani Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:21
thanks for putting up with the fact that i love being retarded haha
May 27th, 2009 at 21:10
Lmao! I think the spongebob character is the perfect picture for you to use here. I was laughing so hard. this was so awful but so funny cuz it didn’t happen to me.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 21:11
You beezo. HA HA HA!
May 27th, 2009 at 22:17
You know, though you did all the work, this does make D seem cooler.
And I ain’t gonna lie. The idea of you stripping in this story was a bit of a turn on.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 22:20
As it should have been.
And yeah… he does look a lot cooler. If that is possible.
May 27th, 2009 at 22:35
It’s kinda cute. You seemed more reserved and inexperienced with girls at that time.
Last year for our birthdays, I took Chris out to a strip club and this was the first time we went together, his first time in general.
She didn’t ask permission with Chris, within a wink of an eye I was on my back on stage with the stripper 69ing me (we were clothed).
I do understand that feeling. After it’s done with, I was pretty hot and I felt a rush.
More recently I got violated by a stripper and Chris wasn’t there. This bitch did some David Blaine shit and my shirt was around my neck and we were tittie fucking. I don’t flash in New Orleans. That’s touristy, and I have more class. I just don’t feel as if everyone deserves to look at my breast. Damn stripper. I liked the first one better.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 22:41
I really was. I mean I was barely 22 when we got married, and I had only really been with a couple of girls at that point… so I was still totally learning and discovering who I am today.
Wow. What a skank. I would have straight told her about herself.
<– gonna be a nawlins tourist flashin my boobs one day.
May 27th, 2009 at 22:57
That was awesome. Am I bad if that turned me on just a little? You know, thinking about you unsuspectingly being led onto the stage only to have things done to you that you had “never done before”? I’m such a perv. <3
ZanTx915’s last blog post..Poppin’ my TMI Thursday Cherry!
livingwicked Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 23:12
No that isn’t wrong. haha the way you just described it made it totally sound like a porn intro scene! lmfao!
livingwicked’s last blog post..TMIThursday: D’s in Love with a Stripper?
May 27th, 2009 at 23:14
Bwahahhaaha….well, that is how your description sounded, too…hmmm…I think we might be on to something here!
ZanTx915’s last blog post..Poppin’ my TMI Thursday Cherry!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:05
Motion PORN Picture.
May 27th, 2009 at 23:15
Feck. I meant to reply to your comment, not post a new one…geez.
ZanTx915’s last blog post..Poppin’ my TMI Thursday Cherry!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:05
HAHAHAH! Its okay.
May 28th, 2009 at 03:32
You were actually shy?
No way.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:06
Skank. Don’t make me cut you.
May 28th, 2009 at 03:41
Ok first the spongebob cartoon thing cracked me up and second this is a hot story
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:07
May 28th, 2009 at 04:18
Point the First: My son came running to the computer when he saw SpongeBob and Patrick. THAT was an entertaining moment!
Point the Second: Aww, so that’s what I missed by never having a honeymoon. How cute!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:07
Did he say “BRA! BRA!” ROF!
Is this really CUTE!?
Anne Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:29
No, mention of a bra… though he used to find it entertaining when I’d change shirts in front of him. I don’t do that anymore, just to be safe.
Yes, really it’s cute. You shared a moment in your life that caught you off guard and showed a hair’s width innocence. I didn’t know you then so that’s a big switch. Besides, I had JUST been awoken by zee child far too early in the morning and reeeeeeeaaallly didn’t have a sexy frame of mind.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:39
No explanation was needed… I guess I don’t have the ability to see myself from other peoples eyes. (duh)
Charli is obsessed with boobies. She kisses mine all the time. “Iyuhyooboobies” she says. HAHA
Anne Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 09:23
Haha! I’m speechless.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 09:31
Talk about TMI!
May 28th, 2009 at 04:24
lol
I can totally see this!!! LOL
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:08
HAHAHA.
May 28th, 2009 at 04:39
Is there something wrong with me that I think this is cute? on both counts, his and yours?
Squish’s last blog post..Squish on Food
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:08
You apparently aren’t the only one to think this.
May 28th, 2009 at 05:30
It’s too early for me to feel turned on. Thanks for that.
Impressive story. I would have freaked!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:08
May 28th, 2009 at 05:30
I love this story so much. And I’m with the others… HOT
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:09
Awww. Thanks!
May 28th, 2009 at 06:05
I would have FREAKED OUT. Good for you for enjoying it and NOT killing him later LOL. And hey at least he will never forget that you are the coolest wife ever.
Cassie’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: Girls don’t poop
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:10
Nope. He has many other reasons almost as cool as this one.
May 28th, 2009 at 07:32
That is amazing! I know what I’m doing for my honeymoon…
Jackie’s last blog post..“O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.”~Saint Augustine
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:10
*APPLAUSE*
May 28th, 2009 at 08:11
It’s like a fairytale honeymoon!
In TMI land, anyway…
LiLu’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: BLING: For External Application ONLY
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:33
HAHAHAHA! Right….!?
May 28th, 2009 at 08:35
That is awesome! I am sending him a mental high five right now!
justjp’s last blog post..Stepping out of the box
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 08:40
Mental high 5’s are the best.
May 28th, 2009 at 09:33
You are one tough lady…..if it were me people would have been maimed.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 10:22
LivingWicked’s last blog post..TMIThursday: D’s in Love with a Stripper?
May 29th, 2009 at 09:14
wish i could have seen this great moment of joy n your life….