The Art of the J-o-b
May 5, 2009 Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Sex, Suck It!, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked Wisdoms, Yum... or Lack There Of., love
Yesterday was all about cunnilingus.
Today is about the art of fellatio. I have been the ear of many mouths who have a wide array of complaints in regard to technique. Obviously, everyone is different… with different variations of what is really the same thing. So this is a general instruction for those of you who 1) don’t enjoy giving them… 2) don’t really know how to properly give them or 3) have never ever given a blow-job in your life.
“You ‘aint doin’ it right, unless your hands get wet”- T-Boz
When I give a blow job, I am all in. I start at the balls. And I work my way up, touching ever sensual spot in that general area. The place where the leg meets the cock, the shaft, and most importantly, the head. I don’t just lick it, and suck it, I use my hands to assist me in his climax. I like to think that it is simulating penetrating a pussy. A really, really wet pussy. When a man penetrates a pussy, it is pretty much saturated at all times. So I use my hands to simulate that in and out action. I move them up and down in the motion that my mouth is moving, using my saliva to get my hands and his cock as wet as possible. When my mouth comes up as if to be releasing his cock from my mouth, my hands follow, slightly gripping and squeezing his head. I then push his cock through my fist my mouth to follow, never breaking the contact.
I have had no complaints. Zero.
Which is why I am going to give you all some step by step instructions on how to effectively give a proper blow-job.
Don’t move straight in for the kill. tease him a little bit, make him wait and squirm before your lips ever touch the tip.
* Start at his mouth. Kiss him softly at first, while you grind him, and rub your naked pussy all over his cock.
* Move to his ears, and his neck, breathing softly, whispering dirty secrets in his ear that only he can hear. Nibble on his earlobe. lick his collarbone. (don’t forget to keep your pussy in direct contact with his cock.)
* I like to go back to kissing his lips for a little while longer. A good make-out session does nothing but provide that much needed anticipation.
* From his lips, kiss his chin, moving slowly to his nipples, never taking my lips from his body. At this point, softly guide your fingertips down his silhouette, and grasp his cock. While you are making love to his nipples with your tongue, stroke his shaft.
(Sometimes men like to feel your pussy on their cock while you are pumping it…. but that is just a matter of who you are with)
* After each nipple has been given the proper attention, move your lips down his stomach. I suggest moving slowly, using your hands to caress the side part of his abdomen. when you reach the base of his cock, grasp his hips tightly. Lick him, breathing softly against his skin, right between where the leg and the groin area meets. This is an extremely sensitive spot on men. Make sure you treat both sides equally.
At the base of his shaft, wrap your mouth around it, and move your mouth towards the tip.
* Never leave the testicles unattended… or at least as little as possible. Use your fingers to massage his testicles, while you moisten his entire cock with your saliva. Don’t rush this process… move your mouth up and down his now throbbing cock, exploring each inch of his member with your lips and tongue.
When you reach the tip, make love to it with your mouth.
* Show him that his cock is the only one for you. make him believe without a single word that his cock is the best.
* Keep one hand near his testicles while you use the other hand to guide your wet mouth down the tip of his cock. Simulate a pussy with your hand, making it feel like he is penetrating the tightest, wettest, most virgin pussy he has ever fucked. Then use your mouth to provide that constant wetness.
* Start slow. only your tongue licking the tip of his cock. gradually glide your hand down his cock, your mouth following, not leaving a space between for even a second. Move your hand, gripped tightly around his cock, and your wet mouth up and down the shaft.
* Pick up the pace a bit now. As he gets more and more into fucking you, so does his pace. Mirror that movement. Each time you reach the tip of his cock, squeeze the tip just a bit with your hands, and then repeat your motions…. all the while moving methodically.
The wetter the better.
* If you are doing this correctly, he is into it by now. His breathing sporadic, and his pelvis moving with each and every motion. now that he is in to it, move your mouth down to his testicles. using your tongue, lick, and suck on them very gently. They are sensitive, and if you are too rough, you will ruin his entire mood. (I know this because I have done it before) While licking them, make sure you are stroking his cock.
* Move your way back up to his cock. Guide it back into your mouth… this time, no hands involved. Guide it deeper and deeper until you have every inch of it totally covered. open your throat to guide it that much further. this is what we experts refer to as the “deep throat”. look up at him, with your sexiest eyes possible, and repeat. make sure this movement is slow and steady…. if it is choppy, and uncomfortable for you… than it will be for him as well.
Its time to go in for the kill.
* If you are comfortable, now is the time for dirty talk. Tell him how much you love his cock, and how you cant wait to taste him. Whatever you feel comfortable saying at that moment, say it. Ask him if you are making him feel good, and make him tell you that he likes it.
* Revert back to using your hands along with your mouth. This time though, you are on a mission. You are setting him up for the best orgasm of his life. Your actions in about the next 30 seconds will make or break his experience. Pump his cock, lick the tip… love every inch of it as hungrily as humanly possible. Go with his reactions. You will feel the vein begin to throb as he begins to climax. When you feel him start to let go… and this is the most important part to remember… look him in his eyes as you swallow every last drop of his seed. Before you move on to the next sexual conquest, or to sleep, whichever is in the plans, (if the orgasm is as good as what i provide…. sleep is usually a given… at least for a little bit anyway) kiss the tip. and then kiss him square on his mouth.
Then whisper something sexy in his ear to let him know it was just as good for you as it obviously was for him.
Are you afraid of the B.J. or are you a pro?
Spit or Swallow? Be honest.
Men, should I add anything else? What is your favorite part (other than the climax… duh!) of a blow-job.
What is the craziest place that you have given or recieved a BJ?
May 5th, 2009 at 23:54
<— not a scared pro that swallows in fire stations while alarms are going off. the end.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 07:56
HOLY CRAP! HAHAHAH! Yessssssssssssss! *thumbs up!*
May 6th, 2009 at 02:29
Oh good.. I AM doing this right.. LOL. Never had any complaints either. And frankly, spitting just seems rude to me in any context.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 07:57
It is rude. Ever since my daughter was born though, my gag reflex is way more sensitive than it was before… so sometimes I will spit, but not until he is fully finished and in another room.
That is a rarity though.
May 6th, 2009 at 02:45
No complaints here, either. The only thing I don’t like about it is that I can’t seem to turn off that damn gag reflex. I used to be able to, but lately I can’t seem to do it even though I’m using all the same tricks.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 07:58
I am there with you. And, if he has a super orgasm… I have no choice. It is either spit or puke.
April Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:27
Oh, my problem isn’t with the swallowing, that really does not trigger it but when his dick hits the back of my throat it’s hell trying to not puke all over him. And I used to be able to deep throat with ease, even with a large guy.
This guy I was with recently, first time, I’m blowing him and he’s so into it that he grabs my head and forces himself into my throat which would normally really turn me on but I nearly puked on him and had to end it right there. Sorry, man, but my throat no likey.
Any wicked tips?
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:44
No. Unfortunately I dont. I am trying to figure it out myself actually. Since Charli has been born I have struggled with my gag reflex all the way around.
May 6th, 2009 at 03:28
Can I just say that I am a blow job slacker. I had a BJ phase…I mastered the art in High School and was a pro for years. Then I got with my ex and I think I kind of hated him so I didn’t realy want to and now I am blow job lazy and nervous. Performance anxiety I think. I’m out of practice.
worst.girlfriend.ever.
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:01
I am pretty sure a surprise BJ would send your relationship to levels you wouldnt imagine.
ESPECIALLY if he is giving. He gives… doesnt he?!
Miss Tricky Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:12
Oh I do it…my heart just isn’t in it like it was when I was 18…ya know?
And um……I am not big on receiving.
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:19
um.
Miss Tricky Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:55
don’t “um” me!
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:58
Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.
May 6th, 2009 at 04:52
<–swallows
But you already know.
PQ’s last blog post..Say What? Wednesdays: IM Edition
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:01
Duh.
May 6th, 2009 at 06:38
Again: PORN! lolz
Jaime @ Fast Times’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Pon and Zi
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:02
DONT BE SCARED OF THE BJ!
Jaime @ Fast Times Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:03
You make me giggle.
Jaime @ Fast Times’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Pon and Zi
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:17
May 6th, 2009 at 06:45
And…
Bar hopper: Look at him! He’s 20, but he sucks dick like he’s 47!
–2nd Ave & 5th St
Overheard by: Christian
Girl on cell: I’m really mad that he’s telling everyone I gave him head, and calling my mom a milf.
–West 72nd Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Will
Student on cell: I can’t wait to put that in my mouth.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wait, What?
30-something to teen: I’m telling you: ignore a bitch and she’ll be giving you head in a day.
–Central Park
Slutty girl: So after about five minutes, I took a break and my jaw was shaking.
–87th & 3rd
Crazy hobo: Look, I don’t mean this in a sexual manner, but could you suck my dick?
–Times Square
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:02
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
May 6th, 2009 at 07:00
After yesterday, I refuse to read this until 5:29.
I’ll be back.
LiLu’s last blog post..Do I Get a Gladiator Movie Made About Me Now?
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:03
HAHAHAHAHAH! LMFAO! Fine.
May 6th, 2009 at 07:06
huh?
what’s a blow job?
lmao
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:03
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhm.
Cassie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:33
wha?
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:39
huh?
Cassie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:45
what was the mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhm for?
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:49
It was for you not knowing what a BJ is.
Cassie Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 10:01
hehehehehehe
May 6th, 2009 at 07:35
I understand that most men probably like it just like that. And believe me I would never in a million years complain about that blow-job. In fact you would almost have to be a 50 year old down syndrome victim with an airport ashtray dumped in your gullet to give me a blow job that I complained about. That being said, blow jobs are like crack to me in the sense that I am always looking for that perfect hit that first good ear ringer. Always jonsing, cant get enough but somehow its never quite the same in the end as I wanted in the beginning. Its great and yes please may I have another but its never that one blow job that I remember from years ago that turned me inside out and left me in a puddle with tears of joy in my eyes. Here are a few things that I would never complain about but could be better. I would rather no sucking. I like a tight set of soft lips that glide without creating suction. Get those lips all the way down to the hilt and back up to the tip making sure the hood pops in and out. That spot where the head start at the shaft? Thats the sweet spot. Over and under. I like the feeling of my balls being caressed in the beginning before you start the real deal but after that not so much. Please don’t suck my nuts into your mouth and swish them around. My balls don’t dig it at all. Keep going while Im coming. Its not your cue to rest on your laurels. Keep doing the same thing that got you there. Even if I squirm and try to get you off it.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:05
Really. Hm.
It is funny you say that. My husband was the “I never cum from a BJ” kind of guy before I let him have one of mine.
Now, I hear all kinds of noises before, during and after the O. EVERY TIME.
I am pretty sure my BJ and the lips I possess on my face are the reasons why he married me.
Also, I get your preference. I dated a guy once who was very very very particular like that. He was hard to please cause he was so fucking picky about it.
beau Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:06
Im only being picky in here. When a woman opens her mouth for my dick I shut the hell up. The worst blow job I ever had was still better than almost anything else I coulda done that day. I have never asked a woman to change shit about a blow job. EVER!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:09
You crack me up.
Beggars cant be choosers then?
May 6th, 2009 at 07:38
Oh and make sure that your pussy and you ass is somewhere that I can get my hands to while you blow me. Thanks.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:06
Duh. That is a great point that I forgot to include.
Miss Tricky Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:15
eeeeeeew! don’t touch me while I do it!
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:17
REALLY?!
Miss Tricky Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:54
yup. Don’t distract me I have work to do!
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 08:59
How am I distracting you? If we were 69ing then you might have a point.
beau Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:07
I just wanna slide a hand up and down it a lil.Im not trying to make you pay attention to it.
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:10
That is a requirement with D. He absolutely MUST stroke the butt when receiving.
Miss Tricky Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:22
I am distracted very easily.
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:32
So if I showed you my boobs?
Miss Tricky Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:34
It is rapidly coming to my attention that I am a terrible lay. Thanks so much for thses “helpful” posts. sniffle.
(show boobs!)
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Former Luxury…
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:36
Really?! I highly doubt that. And even so, maybe it should be something you learn from?! No?
I will show you my boobs. One day.
May 6th, 2009 at 09:11
I wouldn’t say that I’m a ‘pro’ but I would say that I am very very good and I have never had any complaints. Even when I knew I didn’t do a great job. What man complains about a bj? seriously?!
I swallow. Mostly. I did not the other day in the shower (twice)…he was on a lot of meds and I wasn’t sure about that with the baby and all so I kinda spazzed out about it but he never knew cause the first time I just dribbled right down my chin and it washed off in the shower LMFAO The second time….he totally shot in my hair. Which was not cool. Yes, I’ve now had jizz in my hair. I didn’t freak out about it, though I did make him wash it hahahaaaa
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 09:14
There are some valid complaints. Like, if a girl tries to be bold and use teeth… but uses too much?! <– valid complaint.
“Is that hair gel?” HAHAHAHAHAH
May 6th, 2009 at 11:30
I can only wonder if salad tossing is next!
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 11:33
Uhhh. No I dont think I will go there.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:08
Self admitted not a pro. But when I do it I don’t hear a word of complaint
And swallow it is.
Off topic – got your comment on my blog – no definite plans yet, but let’s try to grab a bite (and a beer??)! I’ll be in touch between now and then so we’ll figure something out.
prettylittletangents’s last blog post..Goodwill Games
LivingWicked Reply:
May 6th, 2009 at 13:58
YAY SWALLOW!
May 6th, 2009 at 14:27
Walking in the Castro district of San Fransisco one evening, I hear one gay man say to another, “you’re awfully picky about getting your dick sucked.”
I understand what Beau means. It’s like Pizza. It’s all good. But some is better than others and you almost forget in all it’s greatness that occasionally someone gives you some mind blowing better.
Actually, I stand behind most of what Beau said. And even Courtni just warning about sucking on a guy’s balls too hard has made my stomach ughy.
May 6th, 2009 at 22:11
not even gonna lie…I totally swallow. lol that was very informative….and I agree, the use of your hands is VERY important.
Hannah-Lane’s last blog post..one harsh, evil, Lucifer-like critic requested…