Random Air Humps
Apr 16, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Current Events, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Parenting, Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, bitch
Happy Friday!
Woooooooooooooo!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhht!
(this is about to be the most random blog you have seen from me in awhile. thank lack of sleep and too much shit to stuff into my brain.)
*air humps*
I swear to God, ever since the other day when D thought that air humping about everything was an acceptable answer, I have been obsessed with the act.
*air humps*
I need to make a decision. Like, I love being busy on the weekends, having this thing called a productive life… but at the same time I yearn to be braless on my chaise, remote in one hand… something-chocolatey-and-also-salty in the other (no, not D’s cock… but now that you mention it… *air humps*) laptop… well, on my lap. If I could be lazy and get away with it, I still wouldn’t.
Who actually wants to live their life by the teet of the television/tivo/dvr bullshit?
So I guess this means that I made the decision. I will just long for laziness… while running endless errands.
This decision gets no air humps.
Charli is a fucking crack-up. Yesterday, I yelled for Xavier to get his ass in the house.
Me: (outside yelling for him) “XAAAAAAAAAVIER!!!!!!!!!!”
X: “YEAHHHHHHHHHH”
Me: “IT IS TIME TO COME INSIDE!”
X: “CAN I HAVE 10 MORE MINUTES?!”
Me: “NO! COME ON!!!!!!!!!”
X: “MOMMMMMMM PLEAAAAAASE!?”
Me: “BOY! GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!”
For the rest of the night, every time Charli saw X: “BOY! GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!”
Clear as a motherfucking bell. Xavier was not amused. Heh. I was.
*air humps*
Speaking of humping:
D: “You are wearing the shorts.”
Me: “Huh?” <— famous last words
D: (all of a sudden on top of me.) “I think you put them on to play pussy games with me.”
Me: (pretending to be unaware of what this means) “Pussy games!?”
D: “Bitch dont play.”
Me: (bending over to pick up a piece of lint on the carpet.) “I am not sure I understand.”
The rest of the convo is considere pornography and could get the site blocked. In case you are lost….
I swear we go through the craziest phases. Sometimes we cannot keep our hands off of each other. Sometimes, I look at him and he looks at me and we give each other the middle finger. Either way, It works. I think right now it is because 1) I am pretty and 2) I am at school again. The less we see each other the more we boogie.
I like it that way.
Speaking of porn, I was watching this clip the other day where I swear to God, this bitch talked through the entire free 5 minute clip of her getting the ever living shit f*cked out of her. What is going on with porn these days? Can I get a free porn clip that does not have this dumb broad holding steady dialogue???
Shut the f*ck up porn star. If we wanted to hear you speak we would watch you on a MOTION PICTURE.
Am I alone in the loathing of the talking porn star?
Is my hand the lone one raised when the question of shut up and get f*cked is asked?!
Sheesh.
Also, my new second favorite word is taint. It is close in the runnings with cunt.
Lastly, (deep breath)
Maybe Jaime Foxx has a point about Miley Cyrus. Maybe it was spoken harshly, but I dont necessarily disagree with the intent.
The Sunday School Teacher that killed that little girl needs to get fucked with a rusty pipe until she bleeds to death.
Hulk Hogan is bat shit crazy, but haven’t we all wanted to murk a bitch?!
Mel Gibson is a douche.
Some one beat the shit out of those 2 Dominoes Pizza employees with a library full of phone books. Dont fuck with peoples food. It isnt funny.
Nobody cares about Bristol Palins baby daddy.
(exhale)
Share your own Friday random.
What are your weekend plans?
Doggy-style or Cowgirl?
What is your favorite word? Why?
April 16th, 2009 at 22:53
you husbands pussy stoned over you… that’s my fav phrase right now. pussy stoned and cock stoned. jamie fox has no business speaking about a child the way he did. never forget that. she may be in the spotlight but she is a child! he has a teen himself. there needs to be a line drawn. children need to be off limits in the media. period. people are becoming so disrespectful and rude. its so disgusting. I can bet than no one will be speaking about my daughter like that when she is 16 years old, no matter what she does or who she is without getting a mama ass kicking.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 16th, 2009 at 23:00
I love that phrase.
also, I think that you should consider something in that. That little girl prances her 16 year old ass around dating a 22 year old man like an adult. She portrays to be older, and her parents allow it.
he should not have spoken on her. he should have chastised the parents. because she is out of line. and acting older than she is.
you cant take the heat, get out of the mother fucking kitchen little girl. period.
also, you and i wont allow our children to act that way… therefore it is a moot point.
April 16th, 2009 at 23:15
it isn’t up to her to take the heat or get out of the kitchen. it does not matter what she wears or who she dates. and actually I see a lot of her stuff cuz my four year old niece is a big fan. I don’t think she behaves badly at all. I don’t see her “prancing” around. I’ve seen her on stage, covered up, doing her job. there have been a few pics I wouldn’t want my daughter to take, but once again, people have no business hacking into a childs account. sadly, those types of provocative pics are all the rage with kids miley age right now… its all over the news. bottom line, miley is a child. I agree that its her parents responsibility to parent her… therefore if people have something to say… say it about them. not about the child. a child should never have to defend herself to an adult male like jamie fox. as a parent he should have kept his tongue in check.
also with as much as you’ve been writing about sex, D it verifiably pussy stoned. and your little innocent acting ass with all your “huh?” is cock stoned.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 16th, 2009 at 23:20
you havent seen her stupid self made you-tube videos? she is a fucking brat.
I dont agree with what he said. i dont disagree what he meant by it. he, like many other comedians has the tendency to go too far with jokes… and all i am saying is that he went too far with it. i still stand firm that if he is gonna talk shit, talk about the parenting. not the minor.
and it kind-of does matter. if she presents herself a certain way… people will adjust how they see her. the world bases everything on perception. my perception is that her parents are fucking greedy are more concerned about her success and career than her childhood.
hence the annie leibowitz photoshoot. get out of here with that. if my daughter was posing like that at her age i would have had someones ass in a sling. period.
April 17th, 2009 at 02:41
1. the air humping thing is hella funny
2. you should treat yourself to a lazy day once in a while. it’s totally good for you.
3. I can’t capitalize and that’s driving me crazy
4. envious as hell of you and d’s sex life. i’m climbing the walls over here. sigh.
5. i always turn down the volume on porn because the talking irritates me.
6. i have been watching way too much porn lately. see 4.
7. doggy-style
8. I like the word cunt too.
9. tomorrow is my baby girl’s 8th birthday so we’ll have a day of fun and spoiling for her but tonight i am hoping that I can arrange a sleepover for them so that i can go have some much needed fun. see 4.
10. don’t actually have a 10 but my brain wouldn’t let me stop at 9
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:18
I KNOW, right!? It had me cracking the fuck up last night.
i try to… but there is so much going on that it is a rare occasion.
heh. i love it.
sorry… kinda. actually, no i am not.
i like the sex noises. not the jabber.
me too, but not for the same reason. i just like to see girls get their asses rammed.
word.
isnt it grand?
YAY! happy birthday baby girl!!!
April 17th, 2009 at 03:55
nOT GOING TO WEIGH IN ON THE HOT TOPIC THAT IS APPARENTLY MILEY CYRUS JUST RESPOND TO YOUR QUESTIONS
MY RANDOMNESS – i REALISED TODAY THAT MY FRIENDSHIP WITH MY NEIGHBOUR ACTUALLY CROSSES INTO INAPPROPRIATE TERRITORY MORE OFTEN THEN NOT – AND THAT I REALLY COULD CARE LESS, IT’S JUST THE NATURE OF THE FRIENDSHIP –
i AM HAVING ONE OF THOSE COMPLETELY LAZY WEEKENDS THIS WEEKEND – i AM GOING TO HOLE UP ALONE IN MY HOUSE AND WATCH MOVIES AND NOT SEE OR TALK TO ANYONE – BUT i DON’T HAVE KIDS SO i GET TO HAVE THAT LUXURY
dOGGIE STYLE
CAN’T THINK OF A FAVOURITE WORD RIGHT NOW – WILL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU WITH THAT ONE ..
HAVE A NICE WEEKEND EVERYONE
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:19
why? i like to hear your views on the subject.
inappropriate how?
i am jealous of this luxury.
ditto.
Kylie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 12:59
OK … WELL… I think he was wrong to make the comments and right to have apologised, she is still a child – and that remains the case whether she’s dating a 22 year old or not – my sister and her husband started dating when she was 15 – he was 21, it definitely didn’t make her any less of a child, and at that time in her life, they broke up after 3 months – 2 years down the track, she realises she does love him, he had just hung around and waited for her the entire time, stayed her friend, became a prick with every teenage boyfriend she brought home (he was living with us) and waited for her to realise he was it … they reunited when she was 17 – got married 7 weeks after she turned 18 and have been happily together since … 8+ years now… so I guess I kind of have a different viewpoint on the whole age difference thing –
Inappropriate in … just so many ways … he’s a flirt, he can’t help himself, put a female in his path and he’s going to flirt with her, which is fine…. that’s just him…. but with him and I it goes a little beyond the harmless jokey banter and flirting and for the most part skirts the wildly inappropriate, and other times definitely goes over the line…. I should stop here and explain .. he has a girlfriend … I don’t like her, I am not friends with her (I have married friends who find the idea that I am even friends with a guy in a relationship and not the girl to be highly inappropriate, cos apparently single women are the devil or something I don’t know) …. anyway, I am also going to say, I don’t ever initiate any of the inappropriate… I probably don’t discourage it the way I should though, cos sometimes the attention of an extremely good looking man is flattering … I will also say, that it’s all in fun … if I ever at any point felt he was actually looking for something more I would shoot him down because I am not ever, nor will I ever knowlingly be, the other woman…. and see .. now it’s gone into this long ramble and I never even got to any details – I have never had a friendship quite like this – one where there is a distinct feeling that if we were both single we would be at it like rabbits but both of us are people who would not cheat, and the thing is … if we were just friends and not neighbours, I could avoid him for a bit whenever I felt like it was maybe going a bit too much into the bad territory.. but I can’t because he’s my neighbour, and I live in a close neighbourhood, and he is so comfortable with me he doesn’t even knock anymore, if the door is open he’ll just walk right in … and the worst thing… I can’t talk to other friends about this (well not many of them anyway) because of the above mentioned judgement of the mere fact that I would dare to have a friendship with someone else’s boyfriend – but, here the child in me will come out hahaha he was my friend before he was her boyfriend dammit she just made her move before I got the chance I accepted that and moved on, i don’t see why should I give up an important friendship just because I happen to be single
ok ramble over … sorry for the long rant … this is something I have been tumbling over in my brain for a long time and every time I get a chance to discuss it, everything just comes blurting out…
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 13:04
Don’t sorry… I think that you obviously needed to get it out.
I do think that he was right for his apology, and I think that it was a heartfelt one. Like I said before, comedians tend to cross lines without even thinking about it.
His context was wrong. The meaning was right.
I suggest setting boundaries in a kind way. He seems like a habitual line sepper, but an unconcious one at that.
Kylie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 16:43
see … now you go and change the code and I realise my caps lock was on for my whole first response haha …
I actually get a distinct feeling that he knows he’s stepping over that line, if not at the time he does it, at least immediately after – I just think that he knows it’s safe me … I’m not going to take it the wrong way and think it’s something more then it is the way other females might, and we have no mutual friends so it’s not going to get back to his girlfriend that maybe he was crossing a boundary he shouldn’t .. I threaten to call his bluff but will never actually do so unless or until he is available and free and clear from her… we’ve both been fairly open about the fact that the mutual attraction is there but can’t and won’t be acted on ..
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 17:48
hahahahahahhaha!!!!! (sorry)
hopefully he gets it. if not, dont wait until the last minute to tell him, you know? That is when things get ugly.
April 17th, 2009 at 04:11
Dude I’m officially jealous of you and D…LOL
And wtf is up with this layout and no caps? WTF!! I WANT TO BE ABLE TO CAPITALIZE SHIT AND YELL AT YOU!!!!!!!!
uM. yOU KNOW HOW i FEEL AND MY RANDOM FRIDAY AIR HUMPS ARE OVER THERE ON MY BLOG SO BITE ME.
BISH.
PQ’s last blog post..I LOVE…Fridays: Week 18
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:19
heh.
i have disabled your ability to yell. bwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!
bish yourself.
April 17th, 2009 at 04:34
ummm, you would be HIGHLY surprised at what I used to do to people’s pizzas….don’t piss off people that make your food…I cannot stress this enough!
what can I not capitalize anything on this page? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
i like to live the lazy life, whenever it rains, i uisually sit around all day and never leave my couch except to potty and eat. you need to get that ocd checked out!! lol
and me!!! I cannot stand to hear any talking during my porn…..which is why i usually mute it, cause I don’t like the fake sexytime noises they make either.
Share your own Friday random. no randoms today
What are your weekend plans? Nickelback, Seether and Saving Abel concert tonight, visit my mawmaw tomorrow, family reunion sunday……..and some where in all of that I have to cut slats for my bed and finish painting my porch
Doggy-style or Cowgirl? doesn’t matter, as long as I get off
What is your favorite word? Why? cockknocker…….cause it’s funny and mean all at the same time!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:23
that makes me angry cass. i have worked in food service for years and it is just something that you do not do. that is playing with peoples lives and health.
you not being able to capitalize is your punishment. Bwaaaaaaaahahahahah!
i <3 that you say potty.
sexytime? <– love this.
heh.
Cassie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:25
messing with people’s lives and health????? not really, nothing I ever did was unhealthy. no bodily fluids or anything like that, so it may be something you(caps) don’t do, but …….
If people in general would learn to be nicer to food service workers, it would never be an issue.
yet another thing we will have to agree to disagree about, i guess!!!
not trying to defend my actions at all, b/c I know it’s wrong, but just how it is!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:31
Did you see what they were doing on the video?
Cassie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:34
no–I have to admit I did not!
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:36
ok. watch the video, and then you will understand what I am talking about and why it is so god damned inappropriate.
Cassie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:39
I wasn’t talking about their actions….I was only referring to mine. I don’t want to watch and will just take your word for it on this matter.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:42
he wiped his ass with a sponge and then cleaned countertops with it.
she sneezed and spit on food.
he shoved food in his nose and then put it on pizza.
THAT is what i am talking about being unacceptable. there are diseases that can be spread from that kind of thing like hepatitis, mersa, …. std’s… no matter how mean a person is, no one deserves to get another persons nastiness… never.
Cassie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:46
ok–agreed
I did none of that, so no reason to be angry at me.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:49
I never was angry at you honey. not even a little bit.
Cassie Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:54
cool beans! lol
Tallulah Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 14:39
Precisely the reason I NEVER send anything back in a restaurant. EVER. If I do send it back (because it’s cooked wrong or something and I don’t want to get stuck paying for something I’m not going to eat, I just end up not eating….I’m not taking anything that comes back out of that kitchen).
THAT IS DAMN DISGUSTING.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 14:48
Yeah it is awful. I am pretty sure the Dominoes asshats were doing it without it being sent back… it was to normal orders. THAT is the most fucked up part.
April 17th, 2009 at 05:09
I may never be the same after all that storm-trooper hot action. just sayin.
what were the questions again? oh right-I won’t answer anyway.
doggy-style.
cunt. close runner up: snatch.
suck it.
Miss Tricky’s last blog post..Here’s a little nothing…
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:23
you love it.
i hate your blogcommentdefiance. bish.
word.
you suck it.
April 17th, 2009 at 05:15
Dude the air hump, too damn funny!!!
JustJP’s last blog post..Things that make me go ewww
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:23
April 17th, 2009 at 05:26
i want to beat the ever living crap out of at least 4 people on a daily basis. Not the same people, just those that are idiots and piss me off. Yesterday I told Donnie that I wanted to choke this guy in my group until he almost passed out aaaaand then beat him bloody MMa/white girl crazy style.
His response? “I go through that everyday”
my response? “I guess it’s damn good I’m not in a supervisory position, cause I would be firing people or making them cry”
I hate assholes. I tolerate them men I am related to that think it is their birthright to be one. Like the one who called Obama a communist yesterday to a random stranger in barnes and noble and then called cnn communist news network… to a stranger. I swear my cousin needs to learn some class. I may not dress as nicely but at least I have enough class to not impose my asshole in other people’s faces. That’s what comes to mind when somebody behaves so arrogantly. a mental picture of someone standing on a ladder and spreading their ass cheeks and pushing their asshole right near someone elses nose and making the asshole talk.
god, I love my daughter. She is so fucking awesome. And she told me I was her mommy and friend because she feels like she can talk to me about anything.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:25
someone said that to a stranger? WOW. that is … just wow.
also, i want to do the exact same thing to people on a daily basis. i think that we were put on this earth to deal with complete idiots. seriously.
i love your daughter too.
Heather G Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:02
My cousin did! He announced it on his facebook/twitter update. and there are at least *thinking, counting 1,2,3…* 4 men I can think of off the top of my head that are like that in my family! Just no concept of class and respecting others’ opinions.
No wonder I have violent tendencies.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 09:14
Jesus.
April 17th, 2009 at 06:18
You took away the caps? beesh. i was gonna say my favorite word is “courtni” but now its caps lock.
i love charli. and x. end of story.
i had seeeeeeeeeex last night, super tacky like because we couldn’t wait to get to one of our houses. i just cannot get enough of that kid. he’s gonna hurt me so bad.
Just A Girl’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: The Emo Edition
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 08:26
i didnt realize that this layout did that actually, it is put in the code. but lmao @ everyone above you noticing pretty much.
so your favorite word still is courtni. the end.
that is fucking cute. i <3 that kind of sex.
Just A Girl Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 10:39
It’ll be *adorable* until he makes me cry.
Just A Girl’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: The Emo Edition
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 10:41
if he makes you cry, I make his junk cry.
April 17th, 2009 at 14:05
1. miley cyrus is a twit. point, paragraph, period, dot. her parents are twits, too.
2. i also envy your sex life with d…what i wouldn’t give to be a fly on your wall! i used to have great sex quite often until i start working 60 hours/week…now all i want to do is sleep when im not working…aforementioned sex life has been reduced to a quick go with the silver bullet and off to sleep i go…le sad.
3. friday random: my friggin’ face is breaking out and i don’t know why…nowhere near time for my period…ugh!
–maybe #2 explains the sudden take-over of my face…okay…that needs to be remedied asap!
4. my fave position is doggy style…reverse cowgirl comes in as a close second
5. i run across or deal with at least one person daily who i’d be glad to choke the blithering shit out of…glad to know im not the only one. i don’t want to get started on my rant about entitled assholes, because that would take all day
6. my wknd plans consist of work, and hopefully sleep, and even more hopefully, sex…at some point…it’s mandatory.
7. i think im rambling, so i will apologize…im hella sleepy but wanted to stop by your blog and say hello…have a great weekend!
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 14:49
Ramble away.
April 17th, 2009 at 14:45
I made a comment, but it got lost.
Justice Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 14:45
Random Friday hummmm?
A vampire sucked me dry. SIX VIALS. WTF.
I also found out, that on the 14th of May, when I have my FIRST OFFICIAL OB VISIT – I get *wait for it*…….AN ULTRASOUND! BOOYAH!
<–One excited preggo bitch.
I went to the grocery store. And they had samples of hot bbq’d pork loin on garlic chedder bread. I soooo bought some and ate it just now.
I wrote a requested letter for my sister’s attorney regarding visitations that I have supervised thus far. The bitch sent me a note and gave me kudos for my superb ability to articulate thoughts and ideas in such an offical manner. I hope it helps her get my sister unsupervised visits.
I also lied to some people that I love, and I really don’t give a fuck about it. And I also was blatantly honest with this other bitch I love and told her that I haven’t been around because I don’t like not talking about the big elephant in the room that is obviously an issue because of my babydaddy and his history as an asshole to me.
Weekend plans. Donno yet. Rain or shine, there will be some football. At Dans. Cause that’s what we LOVE to do together. The complex has a good sized backyard between the buildings and the kids love it when we play football. And they laugh when Dan tries to keep the ball away from me and I tackle his ass. haha. I really do need to stay home and clean though. But at the same time. I MISS MY BOYFRIEND. And yes, it’s fucking OFFICIAL NOW. hah.
Doggy-style or cowgirl, I can’t pick. We go through at least three different positions in one round. I like them all. WTF. I just love sex. And now I am a pregnant slutface.
Cunt is good. Slutface is also good. Why? Because I fucking said so. Oh, and fuck is awesome too.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 14:49
Sex is awesome.
April 17th, 2009 at 15:07
I used to love Mel Gibson. DOUCHE. BAG. Someone needs to put a mute button on Hulk Hogan….and what a hypocrite (standing there whining with the blonde nymphette with the double d ta-ta’s on his arm). Do I agree with infidelity? Hell no – but I’m also not stupid enough to believe he was ever faithful to her either…..and threatening to kill someone? Either 1) lock his ass up now, or 2) I hope she’s ready when he goes after her and mounts his ugly head over the fireplace.
Sandra Cantu….breaks my heart. I’ve been following that story since the day she disappeared – praying they would bring her home safely (though that’s rarely ever the case, is it?). Too bad the exacto knives that bitch swallowed didn’t do the trick.
And while we’re on the subject, Casey Anthony needs to fry…..and it’s time to slap the cuffs on the grandparents and brother Lee too for obstructing justice. That family is a psychiatrist’s wet dream.
Weekend plans – nada.
I personally like to swing from the chandelier. *snort*
Fave words? Nothing comes to mind at this very moment.
Hubs and I go through the same phases (or we used to anyway – and whatever one it was just seemed to work for both of us….like some sort of rhythmic dance….someone got out of step along the way). Holy crap….I just realized that’s a blog waiting to be written.
Allow yourself some downtime this weekend – you’ve earned it. What you’re doing is so hard – I respect the hell out of you for sticking with it.
Love you.
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 17:51
I agree wholeheartedly with all of the talk about the current events shit. ESPECIALLY the Casey Anthony shit. I have been following that since day one and I knew that bitch was involved.
FRY HER ASS!!!!
I am gonna have some much needed down time tonight. Watching “Yes Man” and drinking wine with some lady friends… i cannot wait.
Love YOU
April 17th, 2009 at 18:16
GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!
LivingWicked Reply:
April 17th, 2009 at 18:22
hahahahhahaah! BOY!