My Spiritual Void
Feb 26, 2009 Family, I Forgot to Tag, Parenting, Plunges, Thoughts and Perceptions
Last weekend, at my girlfriend’s 30th birthday party a stranger leaned in to me and whispered “To be Godless is to be mindless.” and walked away.
“Hm.” I thought to myself, while sipping my umpteenth vodka-cran. “What a Freuding ASSHOLE.”
I looked for him, but strangely enough he had disappeared. I am not even sure that I got a good enough look at his face to be able to really identify him from the next sap at the party. So there I stood, seething at the audacity of this unrequested, unsolicited comment from the unknown man at the private party. The room throbbed with great music and an air of celebration, yet I what pulsated through my veins was the fact that someone pushed their beliefs in my eardrum… without allowing me an opportunity to rebut.
How dare he assume that I was Godless!
Who is he to decide what it truly means to be Godfull?!
I have been thinking about this comment. It replays in my mind over and over again as I try to make sense as to why he decided to tell me, and not someone else. Did I look interested in his beliefs? Did I look like someone who would resonate spiritually with this statement?
Obviously… right? Cause here I sit 6 days later, absorbing each and every syllable.
I have come to the conclusion that I could have quite possibly been over thinking his statement. Even if I was not over thinking it, I have begun to process exactly why a cord struck when his breath hit the side of my face. I think it is because I have run from anything religious since I was a teenager. I am uneducated and ignorant on most things “Godly”. Other than the small stints of summer bible camp with my grandparents every summer, and an interest in AWANA when I was 13… I have no experience in organized faith. I do not draw support from any church, in fact the few times that I have gone to church in recent years, I have felt uncomfortable and out of place. My parents are not religious… in fact my mom was removed from the entire Mormon community for dating a black man. They both left the doors open for my brother and I to explore it for ourselves… but I never really did…
A few years ago, I posted a blog about my concerns internally that I was denying my kids (well, kiD at the time) the experience of church and faith and … that piece of life that I was not given. As I watch my kids grow up, I still wonder if I am a bad parent… one who is making a faith decision for them. How does one introduce it? If I am not sure what or WHO I believe in… how am I supposed to guide my kids in the right direction? When these questions arise, I feel like finding a big rock and crawling under it. I just prefer not to talk about anything that has to do with it, and it is 100% because of my lack of information.
And then there is Chrissa. Someone who is so important to me, someone who believes so deeply in her own faith. I am inspired by her, I admire her, but I am also jealous of her strength in this avenue. I have read several things that she has written where regardless of mention of faith… I could tell that it was drawn from something that she experienced within her church community. Maybe it isnt that I am jealous of her strength in her faith, maybe it is that she has been so lucky to find a sanctuary where she can go and just be Chrissa. I have yet to step foot into a place where I know that I belong. And I know that until I do… until I am able to fully release any and all biases, uncomfortable feelings and stigmas… I will feel this void within my spirit.
There is a void within my spirit.
I can run and hide from it until I take my last breath, but it will be there for as long as I try to deny it.
Has someone ever given you an unsolicited statement, or piece of advice that you may not have wanted… but it resonated anyway?
How did you process it?
What do you take from the statement “To be Godless is to be mindless?”
Tags: awana, celebration, church, faith, god, godless, mindless, party, spirit, unsolicited advice, void
February 26th, 2009 at 10:53
My mom calls me that a lot.
But that doesn’t count…though it did when I was younger.
I deal with a lot of this because I’m Muslim and people that don’t know me well enough call me a ‘bad’ Muslim because I drink…and have sex.
People’s opinions of me don’t matter. Because I’m solid in my belief and faith. I grew up with the fact that my grandfather didn’t believe in mass religion…and even though he passed away before I was born, that thought alone was the single defining factor of my faith. It’s between me and God. I don’t have to justify it to anyone. I have faith…and I do sin but sinning doesn’t take away from my faith.
I don’t believe in mass prayers so I don’t believe in going to a mosque…but I’m always amazed at people like Chrissa who can take away so much from going to church and it makes me glad…but I still feel that no one can help you fill that void until you solidify that faith yourself.
PQ’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: Moments
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:03
“but sinning doesn’t take away from my faith”
That is something I struggle with. The fact that it is really hypocritical to believe but also to sin.
That, you can simply ask for forgiveness after sinning… and… it is all okay again? Seems too easy.
PQ Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:06
It’s not all ‘OK’ again. In my faith, I believe that I WILL get punished. This isn’t something that a lot of people talk about but in my religion, the true religion, everyone goes to heaven if they repent BUT
Only after they’re justly punished in hell.
There is no ‘absolute’ erasing of the sins.
PQ’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: Moments
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:10
Interesting.
Even more so that you are willing to be punished in the long run for the ability to live your life.
PQ Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:16
Faith is guidance. It’s to keep you from living your life.
It helps you make decisions.
I refuse to eat pork, and get a tattoo. There are certain moral guidelines I do feel bad about breaking…and I do want to pray 5 times a day.
But at the same time, I don’t fake it and pretend like I’m this really devout Muslim. And In my heart, I’ve accepted the punishment because my faith is absolute.
PQ’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: Moments
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:23
I really adore you.
PQ Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:48
I totally meant to say “Its NOT to keep you from living your life.”
I love you
PQ’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: Moments
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:49
February 26th, 2009 at 10:55
Very good…I think you are doing great by not pushing or hendering what your kids believe in. In our society now there is some much “religion” out there they wil be able to choose what is right for them I say stay with it and you are doing great. Good blog also
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:04
Well thanks!
And, how does one expose their kids to all… in order to give them an unbiased experience to make the right decision for themselves?
Cassie Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:08
my sister takes her son to new church each time they go…so it makes it easier to be exposed to them all. In my opinion, though, you really can’t learn too much about them all that way!
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:12
I thought about that… but I thought about the other point you made too… the not really learning much by one or 2 experiences in a place. You kinda need to be involved more to really get a feel…
Jeremy P Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 12:27
No idea…but I am pretty sure TV and just talking to people will take care of most of it. Then again, I was raised in a bar so what do I know
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 12:59
HAHAHA! Why does this NOT surprise me.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:55
Courtni.
I have so much to say to you.
I love you.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:04
Mary.
I cant wait for you to ’share’ it.
I love YOU.
Mary Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:08
I need to think this out and say it the right way.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:12
I figured.
February 26th, 2009 at 11:07
I really do not know how to answer any of that. Most advice I get is unsolicited and yet needed somehow (not to say that this was needed by you).
I will let someone who knows more about the ‘Faith’ issue discuss it with you further. I’m trying to make my way through it all as well.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:13
Maybe you and I can make our way through it together then.
February 26th, 2009 at 11:12
I, too, have run from anything and everything religion related. Catholicism was forced upon me (isn’t that the way with most Catholic families?) and I didn’t like that I wasn’t given the freedom to explore my own spirituality. I was forced to attend mass every Sunday with my grandparents and go to bible summer camps for years. I never felt like I was actually a part of my church community. I felt unwanted like an outsider, like everyone could feel like I didn’t belong there even though I didn’t know it at the time myself. I still don’t know if I belonged there. I’ve yet to explore spirituality in any aspect of my life.
My suggestion, is to tell your children that they’re free to explore the idea of God in their own ways, and that you’re interested in learning as they learn. Maybe it can help the three of you find something that will fill your personal void. I know one thing, though: if my parents & grandparents had given me a choice and offered their support instead of forcing me into their beliefs, I might have some level of spirituality in my life. I might not be so resistant to the idea of a higher power.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:16
“I might not be so resistant to the idea of a higher power”
Funny. Because I too am resistant, but for the polar opposite reasons.
I really like your suggestion. It should have been an easy one I suppose, but when I over think… it tends to block my rational thinking a bit.
Jaime Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:22
Puh-lease. You don’t even need to tell me about over thinking. I’m the fucking GODDESS of over thinking.
The fucking Goddess.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:23
HA HA HA!
Yeah ya are.
February 26th, 2009 at 11:13
Oh Court. So much I could say to this.. Raised Mormon, then very involved in a Southern Baptist church, the entire religious-thing wore its welcome out to me. While I see my kids missing the community and fellowship experience we once had many years ago.. They don’t claim to wanting it.. and I cannot bring myself to ‘fake’ a place in a church for that purpose. I admire the deep faith a few of my close friends have, but cannot see myself as any more than a bystander or passive attendee to any religious ’stuff’. The unsolicited statements come from many sources.. since my 4 kids have 3 different last names… and my oldest is obviously ‘different’ from the younger 3.. um yeah, I’ve heard a few things muttered about my um ‘lack of good’ behind my back. Very few have the gall to say them to my face. I don’t know.. Maybe I have a cynical chip on my shoulder regarding all things ‘Gawd’ like. But I cannot believe trying to be a good mom and take care of my kids the best way I can.. means I’m goin to hell. ya know?
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:18
I do know. That is the opposing end to my argument with myself.
I am almost 100% positive that Cherie is going to have something amazing to say to this that has something to do with not needing to worry about organized anything to find what I need to fill that void.
I KNOW that I am a good mom. I just don’t want them to resent me for not providing them with something amazing… if that is indeed what it is.
Jody Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:20
I also look forward to her reply..
Thanks for doing this.. methinks I needed it as well
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:22
I am glad you were able to absorb something from it.
It means a lot when my writing impacts another person’s thinking.
Jody Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:27
psst. you do that a lot *wink*
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:32
<3
Cassie Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:23
I don’t believe that there needs to be an ‘organized’ religion in the picture to believe.
I believe in God…always have, always will, but I just believe in all the rules that certain religions have for their followers.
In fact, I don’t think there should be religions at all…since we all pretty much ‘worship’ the same thing, even if we give ‘it’ different names!
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:29
Dont you think that some are more extreme than others in their ‘rules’ around what is and is not acceptable though?
Cassie Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:30
MOST DEFINITELY!!!!!
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:32
That is why I think that it is separated…. ‘organized’ if you will.
Because there are some that cannot fathom how another can say they believe when they dont have 2456574623 rules to live by… and vice versa.
Cassie Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:37
yeah, but they ALL have one central ‘book’ of the way things SHOULD be…either the Bible or Koran or the like, and those books all pretty much say the same thing…just with different verbage.
This is why I do not understand why there are so many different ‘organized’ religions in the world!
Most core beliefs for all ‘religions’ are the same!
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:39
Absolutely true. It is quite confusing.
I always seem to revert back to why we cannot all just get along?!
Cassie Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:44
hahahahahaha
me too!!!
Squish Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 13:58
they can’t resent you for not sharing what you don’t know. And religion isn’t something that has to resonate in a person for them to know it.
I cannot see your kids ever holding not taking them to church against you… unless they got sucked in by some wacky cult, which I don’t see happening…if that makes sense? umm
Okay, so – BECAUSE you haven’t raised them in church, if they wind up there, it will be a decision they made. A decision to follow a God of Love – (because its rare that any other god gains adult followers) and as a follower of a God of Love, the worst they would ever feel about you not taking them to church because you didn’t “get” it would be pity/sadness.
blargh. I give up explaining now.
Squish’s last blog post..Maliciously Happy
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 14:06
I love your explaining.
Lots.
Squish Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 14:08
haha also “religion IS something that has to resonate in a person for them to know it.” silly typos.
Squish’s last blog post..Maliciously Happy
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 14:13
I got it. HA!
February 26th, 2009 at 11:14
[...] Living Wicked » Blog Archive » My Spiritual Void [...]
February 26th, 2009 at 11:16
but you have found a place that lifts your spirit and lets you be yourself. I believe you all call each other the tribe. I think god is personal and different for each person. I believe in him tremendously, but I don’t push my beliefs off on to my child. I don’t believe that you would either. so basically, they would be getting raised the same way no matter what. its taken me two years to get my niece to say gosh instead of god when she’s upset. that’s as far as my pushing goes. you don’t need church to have god in your life. that’s all I have to say… im sick and so beyond the point of making any kind of sense.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 11:20
The Tribe absolutely DOES lift my spirits. To higher places than I can describe.
Does it fill the void? Hm. Maybe it should and I just havent had the ‘defining moment’ yet to make it so. I dunno.
This makes sense.
February 26th, 2009 at 11:55
My opinion? I think you’re doing fine by your kids. My parents similarly were not involved in religion. I have discovered and chosen my own path. What is suited best for me. I personally feel, that when you are born into a very religious family, your options, your education, of religion, faith, etc., are limited. You’re put into that little religious box and it’s difficult to deviate from that.
There’s a Chinese proverb that says “if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime” I was not given the fish of religion. I was given the fishing pole and directed to the pond. My children will be given their poles and educated on my beliefs and experiences when they are ready, so that they too may find their own way.
There is only one thing that I really do know. And that’s because someone important, told me so in a dream. “You have been given the utensils. It is your job to figure out what to do with them.” Those tools may be actual items, or they may just be inside of yourself.
*sigh* and it might feel really unsolicited at the time….but everything happens for a reason and at exactly the time in which it’s supposed to.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 12:00
It is never unsolicited when it comes from my circle.
I love your inner strength. Sometimes you forget that you have it… but it is so there. You are a great mom.
February 26th, 2009 at 12:12
You know…….I think about this alot. My father (who is a late in life convert to some crazy gay hating militant conservative church business) likes to casually remind me on the regular that my “spirituality isn’t as well defined” as his. Ummm what? I have read and studied and listened about religion forever..mostly because I was left to figure it out on my own and you know I’m an inquistive little stinker. Here’s what I’ve come up with……God pretty much doesn’t live in modern organized religion. You don’t need to go to church to find god, you go to church to find people who believe what you believe so you can hang out with them. That’s cool with me. Believe what you like and hang out accordingly. It puzzled me though, why was my instant reaction to any sort of god based pleasantry ( god bless you etc.) anger? Am I such a brat that I can’t just accept it as they meant it and carry on? What was my problem? So I thought about it some more. And then my dad’s casual comment came back to me……
The assumption that anyone needs “god” to be well developed spiritually is insulting to me. INSULTING! I believe that I have a direct line to god…(not “God”, I don’t think it’s a dude, I don’t think Jesus happened and the bible is a great novel.) Religion is a natural step when you feel lost and alone and like people suck, I get it. I made peace with wanting to believe there is some greater power than my crazy human ass when my life went wonky. But I am never going to find a church full of people who believe what I believe because I don’t believe in church. I live church. I do it all day everyday and if “good christian people” are allowed to look down on me because I haven’t developed spiritually enough to want to go to church then I get to look down on them for thinking it matters. The only reason we have churches and communties of faith is because we have rules about who goes where and does what and if you want to sit at this table then you have to think like we think….no thank you. I’m all flustered now..let me try and find a point…
I choose to believe that my son is a lucky kid when it comes to spirituality. He has a mommy who believes in faith in it’s truest sense, which is that it’s the believing that counts. I look up and out and around all the time, and I see different things everytime. The only rule I follow is to keep looking harder and longer. It should never have become and endpoint, faith in god isn’t something you acheive. What makes people really great ( even the super devout christian ones!) is when they just keep looking for the sake of looking. How horrible to wake up one day and realize your beliefs have developed. And that that development made you think gay people can’t minister.
ahem.sorry.cough.sneeze.sigh.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 13:05
“God Bless You.”
I think that you bring up some very interesting and even more than interesting… valid points.
I think a huge reason why I do not ‘practice’ meaning… go to church… is because my perception is that out of all of the churches in the world… or more realistically my geographical area… only a teeny tiny portion are ones that wont make me mad by their overly judgmental followers.
I am afraid that who I am will make me an outcast if I hear an anti-gay word muttered in my presence… and voice my opinion on why they are sinning within their own beliefs.
I do agree that to find God does not necessarily need to be in an organized fashion.. however, I think my interest lies in simply seeking the information and education that I do not have within myself.
February 26th, 2009 at 12:17
[...] Living Wicked » Blog Archive » My Spiritual Void [...]
February 26th, 2009 at 13:16
**This comment from my fellow PQ Nation Blogger Pecosa**
I don’t think being godless relates to being mindless as much as being faithless does.
*My response*
I think that you have a very good point. Do you think that faithless and godless are similar?
February 26th, 2009 at 13:49
I believe in me. I believe in you. I believe in love, and happiness and honesty and in trying to be a better me today than I was yesterday.
I believe that if it’s Jesus we need, then Jesus will find us, whether our parents go to church or not. I believe that you will teach your kids to love, and that -regardless spirituality/religion they choose – they will be GOOD.
And I believe asshats who try to make others feel in any way “Less” should be run over with steamrollers. Less religious, less tolerant, less intelligent, less whatever. Condescension isn’t pretty and it makes me mad and in my head the guy’s breath smells like Mary’s Ass-flavored purple berry gum wrapped in pig balls. Cause i don’t like him now. Jerkface. Bah.
*ahem*
I’m very anti-unsolicited advice right now. I think that’s why I can’t think of anything that has ever reasonated. I’ll have to get back to you on this.
Squish’s last blog post..Maliciously Happy
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 13:53
I believe in all of that too…
Especially that this week will be over and my cunty pmsey personality will take a long walk off of a short pier. Bitch.
HAHAHAHA. Yeah his breath was not pleasant, so I will recall it using THAT very description.
Whenever’s clever babe. I always look forward to your love.
February 26th, 2009 at 13:54
wow.. and everything happens with reason.. no pressure.
i just wrote you this incredibly long comment and then lost it. let me paraphrase, no.. there is no time.. let me sum up.
I was raised Catholic, and when my children were born, I wanted to give them some religious background as well. But the more time I spent in a Catholic church, the more dissatisfied I became. The rules of the church, what “we” believe were not what I believed. I did a lot of investigation into organized religion and they all believe at their base, the same thing. Be good, and follow our rules in this book, and you will be rewarded… Nirvana, heaven, whatever. But I don’t believe God wants to punish us when we ‘fail’ or ’sin’. I have my own opinions about whether or not I can show my ankles, or my face, or if I can make reproductive choices for my body, or who I have sex with, or who I share my ‘church’ with.
I completely understand people’s need to go to a structure, and share with a community. It is a base part of their biology, raised into them. Your children will not have that. They will not be biased with the truth, they will seek their own truth.
That guy? Yeah.. people who find that spirit, that sense of community, who resonate together and feel fulfilled and happy because they have something they believe in, usually want to share it. Think of how you felt in Nashville. Didn’t you want everyone to know that joy? So for those that want to ’save you’ or ‘bring you to Christ’, those are their beliefs and you don’t have to share them. You believe what you believe in. You have faith in what you know. Some people find this in a church, or with their best friends, or their Tribe. It is a group of people who believe as you believe and who resonate with you on a higher level than I could ever have imagined kneeling in the pew of a church.
Some people believe that going to church gives them the answers, but I’m not sure if it does. Maybe it helps direct them towards answers that other people believe is the right thing.
I think you’re doing fine, Courtni. I think you are a good mom and you teach your children right from wrong, and to love each other, and to try not to hurt anyone. When they are ready to seek the answers to their questions, you will point them in the right direction, and ask them to open their hearts and their minds and BELIEVE that they will find their own truth. That is their religion. Their own truth. No one, not even you, can give that to them. They may find it at 16 or 45 or 98. It will come to them when it is time.
If you want to see an interesting video, you can watch this. I expect it will raise some questions with you. Questions are good as they help you grow. Don’t take it at face value. Do the research. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7065205277695921912
love and light, darlin’..
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 14:23
I was waiting for your thoughts.
You didn’t say what I thought you would and that makes me smile. I will watch that video when I get home.
I like to ask the questions.
February 26th, 2009 at 18:15
I went to Catholic school for ten years, and I am still not deeply routed in my faith. Actually, I’m not even Catholic I’m confused. I was baptized Greek Orthodox, and when you’re baptized in a Greek Orthodox church you receive confirmation and communion as well. In the Catholic school I went to I began receiving communion in our monthly friday mass after my mother argued with the head nun that the Pope said Orthodox faiths should be recognized in the Catholic church. In the seventh grade I had confirmation again, because I’d gone through the communion rigamarole already. Now that I don’t go to the school anymore I haven’t been to church in years, while I agree that it t was at times a peaceful escape, it slowly became an uncomfortable setting. . I think that if I went back to my school’s church I’d be comfortable, if only because of the familiarity since I was a small child, but anywhere else I feel like I don’t belong. Now, I just pray in the comfort of my room with some candles in the dark.. Not necessarily to a certain God just general questions to the universe, an expression of my concerns if only to MAYBE alleviate some of the pressure. =)
PS- The other day in my e-mail I got allllll of your blogs I’d missed at once, besides my life’s been flipped upside down like WHOA! I’ve missed reading, should have checked to see if there were updates but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’ll check more often from now on =)
Dre’s last blog post..Musing.
LivingWicked Reply:
February 26th, 2009 at 22:06
I totally have missed you.
February 26th, 2009 at 23:18
I am not Godless, but I don’t like people putting what they call God in a box and stamping it with their approval and shunning those that do not agree.
It’s ridiculous to assume that a creator being would really give two farts about what we do wrong anyway. Like he created heaven and earth and everything else and is bored enough to judge and gossip about all of us. What kind of God would religion justify one who meddles and judges for his own pleasure anyway? How would that fit into an omnipotent and omniscient presence? How also would that fit into an all loving all forgiving God?
Sin is a creation of man. The idea of sin is as well. Its a means of bestowing morals and societal rules on a people and assigning justification to a higher power that is therefore indisputable…
I believe, but I’ll be damned if I try to slap a label on what I believe or even try to humanize or deify my belief.
Now, I was raised Catholic, and I do find peace in it, but I do not exclude others as all religious tennets do to those who have a different religion or belief.
I am considering going back to the church for the community. As far as the faith and spirituality, that’s between me and my energy eternal.
February 26th, 2009 at 23:19
I tried to embed a video. If it didn’t embed, here’s a link to check…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
February 27th, 2009 at 07:05
I have faith. I consider myself a very spiritual person. That said, I’ve not taken my kids to church in the past five years. I took them when they were MUCH younger, but not since the divorce. What Squish said is true…your kids will come to you when they have questions or whatever. Sass brought up loving God & Jesus (with me, her daddy and her brother) and I asked who was talking about God & Jesus in school. It was a great conversation. We talked about how big the idea is and how much time it will take for us to really figure certain things out in life. I told her we all believe a little differently and that the best we can ever do is respect each other. I compared it to how they like steak but some kids don’t eat any meat…or how they prefer chocolate cake to vanilla.Basically, no one is “right” and no one is “wrong”, we are just different. And, all of it’s good in it’s own way…as long as we don’t eat too much of it!
I offered to take them to church and both kids also had some interesting negative perceptions of church…again, from their friends. For us, it’s about living a spiritual life, being as good to others as possible and making compassion an action far more important than where we are spending 11-12 on Sunday. To get them over the negative, I’m going to take them to several different churches. I’m going to have them tell me good things about each one…and if we choose one together, so be it.
You are wonderful parent to even consider how it could potentially impact your kids.