Paparazzi Piranha’s in the Heat of Passion
Feb 27, 2009 Current Events, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions
This blog is probably going to piss at least one person off. If you are the one person… well… I hope you get over it soon. Please feel free to share why you are pissed off and lets work it out. If you cannot do that, I get it.
Cei la vie.
I am going to stand up and say that, although I stand behind Rhianna and that I hope that she makes it through this and grows into a strong woman from this horrible experience, that I am fed up with all of the negative commentary being thrown in Chris Brown’s direction. Yep. I am.
What he did was horrible. Inexcusable. At least, what the media says he did. We have yet to hear both sides of the story. In fact, we have yet to really hear either side. It irritates me to no end that our media feeds on these people like piranha’s who haven’t eaten in months. Not even just these 2… any and all unfortunate situations are blown into these frenzies of rumors and gossip that when boiled down… hold little truth or accuracy to the original situation.
Chris Brown needs help. He needs to go and figure out what it is that triggered him to cross the line and put his hands on a woman. Rhianna or a stranger, he should have never crossed that line. He obviously should already know that you never put your hands on a woman. Unless she is begging you to … uhh … That is entirely other blog. My point is that he should have been taught by his mama to not beat the crap out of a female, no matter how much of a cunt she is being. Not that his mama is responsible for whatever took place between them. He simply should have already known. Honestly, I am pretty sure he already does/did know.I think that in the heat of passion, he made a very bad mistake.
In the heat of passion. How many of us have made a horrible decision in the heat of passion? Be honest. I have. My husband has. I wont even go into the detail of some of the inexcusable things that he and I have done to each other when anger and alcohol and love mix together into this powerful, uncontrollable super-emotion. It has taken over all of my better judgment. It has made me irrational and frankly, really fucking stupid.
The problem with me is that these 2 have not had an opportunity to figure it out. Whatever figuring it out means for them. How in the hell is anyone supposed to have a civil conversation with the one that they love in front of the bazillion flashes of a camera?! How is he supposed to truly show her remorse… if he cannot get a moment alone with her… to look into her eyes and let her see that he knows the mistake he made?
Not all acts of abuse turn into full on abusive relationships. How do I know? Because we have survived. D and I were abusive to each other. We were volatile and hurtful and frankly I dont always understand how we did it… but we did.
I think that it is time that we leave these 2 young people alone to sort out and try to salvage whatever they can from this horrible incident, and at least if nothing else, walk away from it amicably.
/Rant.
What have you done or said in the heat of passion that you regret?
Tags: abuse, argument, chris brown and rhianna, heat of passion, love, paparazzi, piranha, Relationships
My Spiritual Void
Feb 26, 2009 Family, I Forgot to Tag, Parenting, Plunges, Thoughts and Perceptions
Last weekend, at my girlfriend’s 30th birthday party a stranger leaned in to me and whispered “To be Godless is to be mindless.” and walked away.
“Hm.” I thought to myself, while sipping my umpteenth vodka-cran. “What a Freuding ASSHOLE.”
I looked for him, but strangely enough he had disappeared. I am not even sure that I got a good enough look at his face to be able to really identify him from the next sap at the party. So there I stood, seething at the audacity of this unrequested, unsolicited comment from the unknown man at the private party. The room throbbed with great music and an air of celebration, yet I what pulsated through my veins was the fact that someone pushed their beliefs in my eardrum… without allowing me an opportunity to rebut.
How dare he assume that I was Godless!
Who is he to decide what it truly means to be Godfull?!
I have been thinking about this comment. It replays in my mind over and over again as I try to make sense as to why he decided to tell me, and not someone else. Did I look interested in his beliefs? Did I look like someone who would resonate spiritually with this statement?
Obviously… right? Cause here I sit 6 days later, absorbing each and every syllable.
I have come to the conclusion that I could have quite possibly been over thinking his statement. Even if I was not over thinking it, I have begun to process exactly why a cord struck when his breath hit the side of my face. I think it is because I have run from anything religious since I was a teenager. I am uneducated and ignorant on most things “Godly”. Other than the small stints of summer bible camp with my grandparents every summer, and an interest in AWANA when I was 13… I have no experience in organized faith. I do not draw support from any church, in fact the few times that I have gone to church in recent years, I have felt uncomfortable and out of place. My parents are not religious… in fact my mom was removed from the entire Mormon community for dating a black man. They both left the doors open for my brother and I to explore it for ourselves… but I never really did…
A few years ago, I posted a blog about my concerns internally that I was denying my kids (well, kiD at the time) the experience of church and faith and … that piece of life that I was not given. As I watch my kids grow up, I still wonder if I am a bad parent… one who is making a faith decision for them. How does one introduce it? If I am not sure what or WHO I believe in… how am I supposed to guide my kids in the right direction? When these questions arise, I feel like finding a big rock and crawling under it. I just prefer not to talk about anything that has to do with it, and it is 100% because of my lack of information.
And then there is Chrissa. Someone who is so important to me, someone who believes so deeply in her own faith. I am inspired by her, I admire her, but I am also jealous of her strength in this avenue. I have read several things that she has written where regardless of mention of faith… I could tell that it was drawn from something that she experienced within her church community. Maybe it isnt that I am jealous of her strength in her faith, maybe it is that she has been so lucky to find a sanctuary where she can go and just be Chrissa. I have yet to step foot into a place where I know that I belong. And I know that until I do… until I am able to fully release any and all biases, uncomfortable feelings and stigmas… I will feel this void within my spirit.
There is a void within my spirit.
I can run and hide from it until I take my last breath, but it will be there for as long as I try to deny it.
Has someone ever given you an unsolicited statement, or piece of advice that you may not have wanted… but it resonated anyway?
How did you process it?
What do you take from the statement “To be Godless is to be mindless?”
Tags: awana, celebration, church, faith, god, godless, mindless, party, spirit, unsolicited advice, void
Passionately Yours
Feb 16, 2009 I Forgot to Tag
Today’s Wicked post is at: http://thepqnation.com/blog/2009/02/passionately-yours/
Sound Off: Selfish or Not Selfish
Feb 6, 2009 I Forgot to Tag
I usually wait for the rush of blogs about specific news topics… in order to avoid the repetition in comments and banter between folks.
Being as I have broken up with Myspace, I havent really seen any blogs lately discussing the recent birth of the octuplets… AND their 6 brothers and sisters who have been waiting ? for their arrival. Furthermore, I haven’t really heard much buzz about the mommy in this equasion either.
.
Raise your hand if you have no idea what I am talking about.
If you find yourself with arm raised over your head… you need to climb back under the rock where you have been living.
In a nutshell, a woman from California gave birth to 8 babies. Also, this was not an accident. She had been seeing a fertility doctor about having babies, due to one complication or another… and she chose to have alllll the embrios placed in her uterus. “I took a risk by doing so.” She was quoted saying to Anne Curry.
This seems like no big deal, right? People have babies in multiples all the time…? Meh… Usually, when fertility doctors come into play, and multiple babies are discussed… the mom has a support system that would include some sort of a partner. This mom does not. Her own mother even spoke out about her obsession to have a bunch of babies. Nadya Suleman went on to say that she had always wanted children… a big family even to make up for the isolation she felt by being an only child in a disfunctional family.
She is a single mother. When asked about her source of income, she danced around the topic… and, it really isn’t anyone’s business… but one has to wonder: In the state of our economy, how does one person work and support and love each and every one of those children all by themselves? It is hard enough to support an “average sized” family financially and emotionally… with 2 parents involved. (I say involved, not meaning that they are necessarily together… but involved meaning both being active participants.) But to have 14 kids, all very young in age, and to be convinced that you are able to tackle that alone?
I am not convinced that she is in her right mind.
It makes me worry for these kids. The mommy in me aches to go to them, roll my sleeves up and start changing diapers and making bottles.
.
.
Is she doing these children a disservice?
Could she possibly neglect the older children while taking care of the 8 newborns?
Is Nadya Suleman selfish for wanting to bring these children into the world and raise them all by herself?
Do you think that she is obsessed with having kids?
SOUND OFF!!!!!
Here is the video of the interview… if you are interested in watching.
SURPRISE!?
Feb 4, 2009 Friendship, I Forgot to Tag, Random, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
I am horrible at surprises. I do not do holiday’s of any kind that have to do with gift giving well. This would explain why I always wait til the last possible minute to purchase gifts. Not because I am a procrastinator, (I am) but because the longer it sits, wrapped and tucked away… The longer I think about what the gift-give-ee’s reaction will be when they receive it.
The thing about it is, I love giving gifts. Like, LOVE it. As much as possible, I try to give someone something thoughtful. But, I have to do it right when I think of it. Otherwise I forget, or get it and then like it so much that I keep it for myself. (shut up) Regardless, I simply need to get the gift and then go directly to the person and hand it over. The “I have a surprise for you” build-up is not how I get down.
Also, I am horrible at mailing things. I have bought people cards and magnets… weird shit like that that I have never mailed. I dont mail Christmas cards, or Bday Cards… usually anyway. The intent is there, I just do not do it. I guess being in the military for as long as I was burned me out on the mail system. When I was out to sea… I lived and breathed for mail call. Literally.
It was like a tiny explosion in my vagina when they would call “Mail Call” over the intercom. Did I run to get mail? You bet your sweet asses I did. Every. Fucking. Day. And when they would call it TWICE?! Ahfuck. Sweet Emotion.
My vagina just had a mini explosion at the memory recall of this.
I am bursting with excitement about a gift that I am soon going to be able to give. I have managed to keep it secret for a couple of weeks now, but I am soon going to burst with excitement. Even after sharing it with someone special… I still want to shout it from the rooftops, sharing my excitement with the receiver (s) of the present. But I wont. It would ruin the moment. I think that if I did tell, it would be selfish. Me needing to share it would ruin their opportunity for the surprise factor. And just because I am not good at it doesn’t mean that they aren’t bad at being surprised.
*sigh*
Dont even ask me. I am serious. Just remind me that it will be better in this situation to just wait it out until it is time to give the gift.
Are you good at keeping those kind of secrets?
What about giving gifts?
Do you like to be surprised?
Have you ever ruined the surprise before? Was it on purpose or by accident?
Tags: gift, giving, mail call, secret, surprise, sweet emotion
A K-9 and a Gentleman
Feb 2, 2009 I Forgot to Tag
To the man at the club on Saturday night: Thank you for reminding me that there are gentleman left out there… and for giving me the ego boost.
There are 2 kinds of men out there in the world: Gentleman and Dogs. I have experienced more of the 2nd group in my life, simply given my taste in the preverbial “bad boy”. You get what you ask for… and I would have to agree that in most cases, the nice guys get passed over by the bad boys.
I have no idea why us ladies love the men who like to treat us like shit.
Most of the times that I have been hit on by someone, they have been completely alcohol induced and borderline offensive. The worst though, was a couple of years ago. I was out with friends at a club and we were dressed a tad skankish… Regardless, my choice to wear a miniskirt or not is not a stick-your-nasty-hand-up-my-crotch ticket.
Yeah. It happened.
Catcalls, ‘AYE AYE’s’, and “HEY GIRL’S” I can handle. I am good at not acknowledging an ignorant fools’ lame attempt to get my attention. But when he takes it upon himself to place his hand on my body without my expressed permission… I have an issue with.
This motherfucker goosed me. I had walked past him and his douchebag friends a couple of times; their verbiage toward women was far from impressive. But some bitches allow that to happen to them… so who am I to cause a scene? Right? Anyway, I walked past him again to get the the bar, and as I brushed past… he put his nasty fucking dick beater up my skirt and full on palmed my vag. I stop and turn around to face him. He had this look of pride on his face from his recent vagina accomplishment. When he saw the lack of appreciation on my face… His expression changed. I wasn’t that girl to fall all over his cock in a fitful of giggles.
“Why you look so mad, baby? Your skirt is short enough for me to almost see the goods… I just wanted to get a taste for myself.”
I will never forget the anger that I felt in the pit of my stomach. I will never ever forget those ignorant ass words that slipped through his slimy nasty lips. I slapped that groping son of a bitch in his stupid shit-eating-grin fucking face. I didnt say a single word. Not one. I just hauled back and slapped him as hard as I possibly fucking could. I wish I would have broken his nose. The bouncers were on me like stink on shit and I was quickly removed from the club. I told them and the policeman exactly what happened and why I put my hands on him.
No, I wasnt wasted. And even if I was… I did not a thing to invite him to place his germs in my vag. Period.
This weekend however, I was hit on by a real gentleman. And it felt goooo ooood. Being married, I enjoy a genuine pick-up attempt. I am not sure if it is the fact that I can politely reject them… or the buzz of being reminded by another man that I am beautiful that makes me feel amazing… either way, its a great feeling… so men out there, complement away! *wink*
Anyway, this handsome man caught my attention when we were outside of the club on Saturday. I smiled, and he returned the smile… but I let it go at that. My girls and I danced, took shots… and were having a great time when he came out of nowhere, tapping me on the shoulder.
“Hey I am sorry to bother you… but are you single?”
“No, I am not single… sorry!”
“I figured. It seems the most beautiful women are taken anyway.”
*melt*
I throughly enjoyed shaking my ass while he watched… but I enjoyed even more kissing my husband and meaning it. Another man only reminded me that I am beautiful. My husband reaffirms that fact every single day.
What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever said to you, about you?
Has anyone ever violated you in an attempt to pick you up?
Do you tend to fall for the dogs, or the gentlemen?
Agree to Disagree or Agree to Fuck Off?
Feb 1, 2009 Friendship, Parenting, Relationships, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
Agreeing to disagree is annoying. Most of the time anyway. To me, all that it really means is that you each respect each other enough to stifle the human desire to be right for the sake of maintaining a relationship with them… whatever that relationship may be. For some, that is a no brainer. You simply avoid the touchy subjects, and if they do come up in casual conversation each have silently made a pact to move on to something agreeable as quick as possible.
Is this a healthy dynamic? Personally I am not sure.
On one end I say no. I think that we tend to naturally migrate toward people who share beliefs closest in similarity to ours… and, because we aren’t robots they tend to vary a little. But all in all, those who we associate with usually fall into a place where we share a moral compass.
Meaning, (and this is simply an example) a gay man and a straight man who is openly homophobic and against same sex unions might not share a close relationship vs. a Christian woman and an Atheist man might have the capacity to put religion aside and maintain some sort of a friendship. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule, but my point is that I could not befriend someone who stands for something that I do not. I do not have the filter, nor do I care to agree to disagree with someone who is, on an extreme level, about something that is not within the cloth that I was cut from.
Before your panties and boxers begin to smolder and you skip over the rest of this blog to ream my Wicked ass about it, understand fully what I am talking about here.
I do not mean this to say that if we disagree about something that I cannot in good faith be your friend. What I do mean is that, on an extreme level, there is no such thing as ‘agreeing to disagree.’ I am not one to let it go. I just cannot stifle that belief and act as if we can carry on other conversation as if we are on the same page.
Britches still steaming? I figured as much. What a great idea it was for me to pick a Monday to rile some beeshes up. Heh.
For example, I could not agree to disagree with someone who identified themselves as a pedophile. Even if I have known you my entire fucking life. There would be no turning back or having casual conversation with a person who admitted to me that they were interested in sex with children. Right, wrong or indifferent, that is not right in my eyes.
I could not agree to disagree with someone who had extremest views politically. This specific issue arose right when all of the election hooplah was in full effect. There was talk of assassnation. There was talk of Democrats being ghetto trash who sit on their ass all day collecting welfare checks while the Republicans footed the bill. Normally, a politically charged discussion is easy to move past and continue on in a healthy friendship. This, was not one of those times.
I also could not agree to disagree with a person who constantly felt the need to push their religious views in my general direction. I have several close friends who are extremely religious. They do not necessarily agree with the fact that there is not a religious bone in my Wicked body. But they respect who I am as a human and that beyond all, I am very spiritual.
I have actually ended a friendship with a person who I did not see eye to eye on in regard to parenting choices. She did not see the potential harm being caused by being her daughters friend, and not her mother. I could not stand back and watch the deterioration of that child. She dressed promiscuously. She acted out around boys. And her mother thought it was acceptable. I have known her for years. After several heated discussions…. I simply opened her front door and walked out, never to speak to her again.
Are you more understanding of my point? I hope so. Also understand that some of these are examples and are very vague and also really extreme. They were simply used in an attempt to help you get my thought process.
I seem to be rubbing people wrong lately. I woke up one day and my filter was gone. I mean, I have always had less of a filter than most people… but it is missing. I must have dropped it in my mad rush from home to work to home to school to home every day. Because of it, individuals have chosen to walk away. No discussion, no argument… just the silent end of whatever amount of time invested in the friendship. Fuck it, right? If it isnt worth a 5 minute conversation with a friend… we probably have been wasting time to begin with.
I think that it is humorous that we as a society are so quick to generalize and stereotype and put boxes around who we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to live and love… that we tend to forget that some of us… most of us do not fit in any one specific box. Frankly I hate boxes. I do not have the time, nor the patience to worry about if what I am saying or writing will offend another person or not. If you don’t like the fact that I say CUNT and that I like to give BLOW JOBS and tell the world about how great I am at giving them, then click the pretty red box in the right hand corner with the white x on it.
And don’t look back.
I get that we are not always going to agree in life. I enjoy a healthy debate as much as the next person, but when certain items of discussion come up, and the heat is brought to the table, claws emerge and cat scratch fever is immenant. Where does the damaged dynamic go when this round of debate is completed? Do we supress our feelings for the sake of saving face and/or friendship? When they are suppressed, do they ever fully heal? Or are they brought back up again the next time the hot button is pushed?
What subject, or moral compass setting is where you draw the line?
What is your take on agreeing to disagree? Do you do it often?
Have you ever ended a relationship based on a disagreement where you simply could not agree to disagree?
Tags: cat scratch fever, debate, extreme belief, Friendship, moral compass, rub you the wrong way, walk away
