The Importance of Girlfriends
Jan 20, 2009 Friendship, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
I have always been that one girl that had the bazillion guy friends, with maybe 1 or 2 girls that I rolled with regularly. Notice I didn’t refer to them as ‘friends’. This is because I have never had that core group of girlfriends in my life.
At least, not until now.
As a kid we moved. At least 1 time every year from 3rd grade until 9th grade so I never really had the opportunity to ever build and develop friend foundations with anyone, let alone females. We ladies are a territorial, catty bunch of bitches. It is hard to accept a new face into the close knit group that we are so used to sharing, gossiping, and crying with. Because of this, I have always been the odd girl out. The one who didn’t get the inside joke. The one who didn’t make it in group photos or on the list for the hottest slumber parties in the class. It used to hurt. I used to really feel bitter about the lack of girlfriend influence. Now, I see the blessing in it.
What is that, you ask?
I have watched several of my now besties lose childhood friends left and right within the past 2-5 years. Why? There are many many factors. I think that most often it is because we are different as adults then we were as tweens or teenagers. Add husbands/partners and kids to the mix… and for the most part our paradigms shift. I haven’t really gone through this loss of history, at least not in the same way. The girlfriends I have in my life are (for the most part) already grown. They have found themselves and know what they want and who they want to experience with them. I feel this connection of common ground between us, where it would take a massive event… or an obstacle to really part our souls.
The blessing lies in that my girlfriends are going to be there when we are old and grey. We will be just as bitchy as we are now… and just as connected at the soul. I feel as if I have grown up with each of them… and indirectly I think I have. Even if we did not meet as children, or teenagers… We will grow old together. I prefer that to anything else.
Today is the eve of the anniversary of one of the most memorable life moments for me… and for a core group of my girlfriends. A year ago today we travelled from opposite corners of the country to celebrate our friend’s birthday. Some had never met, not even in email conversation. Some had connected on a special trip only months beforehand. Some had simply commented the occasional blog. Regardless of circumstance, we came together and formed a sister-ship. A Tribe, if you will.
Girlfriends in my life are important to me because they are there to tell me when I am being overdramatic. And when I need to yell to them… not AT them. They are important because sometimes I am too hard on myself and see myself in a horrible light; and they tell me the truth. My girlfriends are important because they truly love me for who I am. They do not put stipulations on me in order to be accepted. My girlfriends are beautiful. And amazing women. And wonderful human beings. They are funny and wonderful and I am thankful for each of them.
That weekend and this past weekend started my reflection of the importance of girlfriends. Deny it if you must, but the truth is we all need them. As much as I detest bitches in every size, shape and color… I love the ones that I love with my whole heart and soul. If you have a group of girlfriends, let them know you love them today… as well as every single day… because with out them, a sense of emptiness will consume you.
‘To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.’
Franklin, Benjamin
Did you grow up with a core group of friends?
Are you still friends with any of them?
Have you gone through the ‘grow apart stage’?
Why are your girlfriends important to you?
Happy Birthday, Carol! I know I speak for all when I say that I wish I could be there to celebrate with you.
Tags: catty, children, Friendship, girlfriend, grow apart, grow old
