My Dysfunctional Office Space
Jan 6, 2009 Random, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions
Office chemistry trips me the fuck out.
There is this broad in my office who is as slutty as they come. She will leech herself on to the nearest douche-sicle, married or not… until they have to evict her from the house she built underneath their collective nut sacks. It is more pathetic than it is comical… but it is still fucking funny to watch nonetheless.
There is another breezy that I work with who cannot pull it together and figure out what teamwork is all about. Everything is a negative annotation. Dont suggest a motherfucking thing that doesnt work for her, because she will gripe and cry and moan until she gets herself out of it. Yeah, that special attention and treatment she is clearly not getting at home.
My least favorite is Ms. Nosey. She cannot keep her face out of gossips ass for 1 second. What is most annoying is that she tries her hardest to bring me into the dook-shoot with her. If I didnt need my paycheck so bad, I would tell her that I think she needed to bitch up and get her own life and stay out of everyone elses. And if she cant do that, at least keep her shit digging off of my desk because I am not interested.
Dont get me wrong. I appreciate juicy office gossip like most of us do on occasion. However, it really depends on who is dishing and how often to decide whether or not i 1) listen or 2) give it any after thought. The above mentioned bitch gets zero gossip cred with me.
The 3 some that I am convinced fuck on the regular that are joined at the pubic hair. They smoke every 15 minutes. Do the math. How much work actually gets accomplished if you are smoking every 15-20 minutes? None. So what? We pay you to smoke with your fuck buddies?
The fuck stick on my team who thinks he is better than everyone. Like, literally. I am pretty sure he is not that cool.
The cliques that eat, drink and fuck together. They also stab each other in the back as quick as they become besties.
Mr. MyDaughterIsSickEveryOtherDay. Please. In all the kids I have ever been around, this family has to be the most succeptable to colds in the history of forever. I think that he was at work 1 week out of the whole month of November. Dont start in on ‘what if she has a serious issue’ bullshit. Because she doesnt. His excuse? Daycare. Daycare is the root of all sickness in the world. Psh. Sorry. I just dont see a kid being that sick that much. Furthermore, if my kid kept getting sick at daycare, I would be looking for a new daycare.
Who am I in the office? I am a mouthy bitch that doesnt really like to be bothered. I am exactly the same in the office as I am at home. At the gym. In my underwear. At school.I have pretty shoes and crack jokes as much as possible. I dont work enough. But when I do, I get shit done. I hate meetings. I dont go to training. I dont kiss anyones ass. Thats me. I like to watch and listen… and observe.
Who are you in your office?
Do you have office drama?
W
What is the dynamic in your office environment?
Check out PQ’s blog today: http://thepqnation.com/blog/2009/01/puppy-love-cute-or-dangerous/
Tags: gossip, nosey, office, office slut, rumors
Sex in Some Strange Place
Jan 6, 2009 Masturbate-able, Random, Relationships, Sex
D and I have the silliest comversations on the planet. Mainly because he is a pervert and turns everything into a sexual innuendo.
Example: This evening D was walking around the house singing “She’s got cakes like hostess.” after fondling my ass every 5 seconds as soon as I walked in the door from class. (Which was great BTW… the class not the fondling) Anyway, it has been 2 hours since this new hit single came out of his mouth, and he is still creating new variations of the kinds of ‘cakes’ she has. “Cakes like Lil Debbie and I wanna lick the frosting.” Right. This is what I live with on a day to day basis.
So from here we start talking about all of the wicked hot and random places we have fucked. After bantering back and forth for awhile, I realized that we are borderline exhibitionists. Or were, anyway.
We have had sex in the following random places:
the Macy’s dressing room
on the ferry (once was in my T-bird the other was a hand-job next to 2 old ladies on our way back from our honeymoon)
the staircase outside of our apartment in broad daylight.
in front of The Mirage in Vegas
at the recently built park down the street from our house
countless road head and pullover fuck-fests.
my shower sexcapade in a Victoria BC strip-club on our honeymoon.
This lead to the moment where we reminisced about what our sex life used to be, and what it has become. The days of 6 times a day all over our apartment have long since come and gone, but one thing still remains between us: Our love for sex with one another. As much as we strive for more frequent O-faces together, we both kinda get the fact that it is not always about us and that. So when we get the time, we savor it. There is never a blah-face. Always a Fuck-Yeah!-Face. My point is that real life and responsibility are so important… but so is intimacy with your significant other. Appreciate it if you are a 6 times a day bitch, because one day you will not have the freedom to fuck like porn stars.
I look forward to the days when my rugrats are off to college and viagra flows freely from the faucet. We will be old and grey and naked, and we wont give a shit who knows it. You better call before you drop by with your bridge games and cookies, or you might find D and my old wrinkly asses on the couch in a weird tantric position we learned in our old people sex refresher course. How’s that for a mental picture?
I’m just saying.
Where is the most random place that you have had sex? Did you get busted?
Tags: couple, freedom, honeymoon, naked, Random, Sex, sexcapade, strip club, Vegas, viagra
