2 Achievements & 2 Aspirations
Dec 30, 2008 Current Events, Family, Friendship, Random, Thoughts and Perceptions
It is N.Y.E. 2008.
The last day of the year. I don’t care who you are, if you have big plans or if you are one of the million and a half people who stay home and watch the ball drop in Times Square…N.Y.E. has a buzz about it.
I fucking LOVE that buzz.
I try to do something kick ass every year. Do you ever notice when you try to make something amazing… you are let down? Yeah. Boo on that. This year we will party at home with some ‘cooler than polar bear’s toenails’ friends, eat good food and drink good drink.
Tiara’s: Check
Funny Top Hat for D: Chiggity Check
NoiseMakers and Glow Sticks? Check to the 3rd pizower.
The corny stuff like the above listed items make me happy. I love decorations and themes. I like to go all out for events. So the once small event at my house has a little ‘oooomph’ behind it. It is how I tumble.
I think it is gonna get motherfucking wild.
I am sure there will be pictures.
Anyway… on to the bizness.
Today is about achievements for 2008 and aspirations for 2009. I have 2 of each. Feel free to list more if you got ‘em. I welcome you taking today to blow a little smoke up your asses. 
2 Achievements:
2: Going back to school… and finishing my first quarter with a 4.0
1: FINALLY DECIDING ON AN ENDING FOR SC! And… writing it out! That is a big deal for me. H U G E. I struggled for months trying to end it the perfect way. One day, I sat down and just wrote. I guess I should have just done that in the first place.
2 Aspirations:
2: To finish my CDP certification on schedule a year from now… with no less than a 3.8 GPA, and to get accepted in to the Social Work graduate program at UW.
1: To self-publish and sell 500 copies of my book so that I am able to have enough money to invest in an Amazon.com presskit and hopefully get recognized by a publishing company to pick up my book.
If I don’t get a chance to say it beforehand… Happy New Year!
Be safe. Dont Drink and Drive. Wear condoms.
And whatever you do… Do NOT use cheesy pick up lines to get laid.
Are you a big to-doer or a stay at hom-er for NYE?
What are your 2 Achievements and 2 Aspirations?
Have you checked out the new look of the homepage? If you haven’t, you should click here to check it out. Q did a kick ass job so far. I am a proud mama. Support her, dammit! 
‘Til next year….
Tags: 2008, 2009, achievement, aspiration, book, celebrate, new years eve, nye, party, pqnation, publish, Submissive Confessions
3 Wagers and 3 W-I-P’s
Dec 30, 2008 I Forgot to Tag
I love to write lists… but, I have never been good at keeping my resolutions. Ever. I don’t know many people who are very good at it.
So this year I am not making New Year’s Resolutions. I am making wagers with myself, and continuing my works-in-progress.
HeeHee that made me snort.
3 Wagers:
3: Re-try something I originally did not like, or try something I haven’t ever experienced before at least 1 time a month.
*this includes food, activities, sex positions… (yay for d)…*
2: Eliminate the use of the word ‘Fuck’ from at least 25% of my daily dialogue.
*to include starting a swear jar to use when I curse around my kids*
1: Hold grudges less. Make amends more.
*Remember the things that I loved about the person I currently dislike and try to move past and resolve the roots of the issues.*
3 W.I.P.’s:
3: Finish editing and publish Submissive Confessions, to begin working on Novel #2.
*As of today, I am on page 100 0f 151 editing.*
2: Lose 50 pounds
*I have lost 24, gained back 6. Working on losing 15-20 before Vegas… with the rest to come after.*
1: Make more time to be intimate with my husband. (Currently we are working on once a week. My hope is to get it up to 3 times a week sooner than later.)
*’nuff said.*
Have you thought about your Wagers & W.I.P.’s for 2009? If not, now is as good a time and place as any!
Share at least 1 of each with me!
PeeEss: Q wrote a great blog about Resolutions for 2009: Click to read.
My Fave & UnFave Four
Dec 29, 2008 I Forgot to Tag
Happy Almost New Year. 2008 has been a roller coaster. I know from reading everyone elses blogs that I haven’t been the only one on this crazy ride. I don’t know about you all but I am ready to get off and stand on solid ground.
I am not one for resolutions… however I do enjoy the marker of the New Year to start things fresh in my world. Some try’s some commitments… Regardless, they are things that I strive to accomplish or attempt to make me and those in my life better people.
So, there are 3 days before 2009 is upon us, and then the actual 1st day of 2009. I am doing some 4’s each day to ring in the New Year.
My favorite 4 moments of 2008:
4: Nashville.
*From meeting Chrissa on the plane to Karaoke to 7 bitches in a Focus to singing in Carol’s kitchen. I cant pick one moment that I loved most.*
Me and Chrissa on the plane to Nashville.
Her plane picked me up in Chicago.
7 bitches in a Ford Focus.
Love Love Love.
3: My Birthday Party. Big up’s to Rach and Tarable, my 2 best friends for making it happen.
*I have only had a handful of birthday’s in my life that were really special… where people have taken the time out to make me feel special. This birthday was in the top 3. I remember chunks of the clubs… including, but not limited to me flipping my mini skirt up to as many people as possible to the cab ride home… to naked in stilettos.
2: Snoop.
*This show was AMAZING. From start to finish… *cough*exceptdominoboo*cough* It was such a great time. We danced our asses off to some ‘Regulators’ and ‘It aint no fun’… Old to New music… It was a fantastic fucking time. I will never forget it. I was already a huge fan… but this sent my love for all things S N Double-Oh P to a whole ‘nother level.*
Doin’ his thang.
Tarably Wicked
Rach & I at the show
1: Summer Vacation:
*I got to see Tori again. I reconnected with my husband. It was our very first family vacation. I became close with his family. I saw my old friend and his new baby. I traveled. The only thing missing was Tara.*
One of my best friends. Of ALL time.
I love this man.
To the ends of the earth.
My Beautiful Family.
And now, my 4 unfavorite moments of 2008:
4: Being homeless.
3: Losing a best friend.
2. The.Longest.Road.Trip.Ever.
1. 4th of July.
What are YOUR 4 favorite moments? Your 4 least?
Share 1 picture with me from this year that is extra special to you.
‘Til I drop
Dec 28, 2008 Addiction & Recovery, Masturbate-able, Random, Thoughts and Perceptions
I am a shop-aholic.
It used to be that I was addicted to shopping at stores for ‘free.99′, or more popularly known the ‘five finger discount’. Meaning, I was a shopLIFT-aholic. I blogged over a year ago that I used to be a thief. Until the one dreaded moment in time when the stupid Loss Prevention SOB catches you and sends your adrenaline rush down the toilet.
I remember my very first brush with the ‘law’ when I was an early teen. My friend and I were lifting make-up from the local drug store. Our pockets were full to the brim with the goods. I could feel the rush of the break toward the door approaching. Each and every step I took drew more and more flutterby’s in the pit of my stomach.
My friend and I made the eye contact as we made a break for it. As soon as her feet hit the pavement on the outside of the store, I watched his hand grab her arm and yank her back inside. Frantic, I slid into the back of the store and into the bathroom, where I dumped every last stolen treasure into the toilet… and flushed it all down with a bowlful of my nervous bile.
She was caught. I was not. She ended our friendship shortly after that because I did not hop into the back of the cop car with her and take a trip past ‘Go’ without my motherfucking $200.
That should have been my lesson to never ever ever take something that didn’t belong to me. Regardless, I am happily recovering from my horrible addiction.
Now, when I get angry or stressed or ‘choke-a-bitch-out-ed‘ I get in my Jeep, and find the nearest place to spend some dough. It feels good to have my hands full of bright colored bags that are full of ‘paid for’ new-new’s.
New makeup.
New books.
New shoes.
New pens.New smell-goods.
New music.
New New New.
Even previously owned (consigned if you will) items give me just as an amazing high if not better than new stuff because not only is the high from the purchase prevalent, but the high from getting something at an amazing deal is on the tip of my clit right along with it.
Bottom line: I <3 shopping. Too much. Don’t get me wrong, I am not to the point where my bills get unpaid so I am able to get that new Prada bag or those new Jimmy Choo’s… but when it has been awhile since I have had a chance to spend some moo-lah, a bitch gets edgy. Edgy like lack of sex or missing my morning mocha.
Oh man. To have all 3, simultaneously?!
Shopping, while getting fucked with a quad iced white chocolate snickerdoodle mocha in my hand?!? *dies*
If you will excuse me… I have a new masturbateable fantasy to live out.
What is your ___aholism? Your vice?!?
If you were in my shoes, would you have turned yourself in, or gotten rid of the goods?
If you were in her shoes, what would you have expected your friend to do?
Tags: jail, loss prevention, masturbate, monopoly, Sex, shopaholic, shoplifting, shopping
Random-ily
I haven’t done a post with updates on the kids in forever. Since it is Sunday, and you all are still recovering from this hoopla called Christmas… I will take this down time to do so.
I miss my regular commentary on my blogs lately. Where did all of my beeshes run off to?! *pout*
In Xavier news, he is playing basketball, being a packrat and driving me bonkers. His new dictionary makes for comedy around the house when I catch him looking up words we say that he doesnt know. Heh.
At least he will be well-versed.
I wish I had more patience for his never ending questions. That is something I have added to my list of things to do better in ‘09. *that blog is coming soon* But, I am not perfect. I do the best that I can.
In all news Charli… She feeds herself, says about 30 words, is obsessed with coloring and loves Dora. She sings, dances and gives ‘daps’ over kisses. Apparently she is too cool for school.
D is a big dork. We all already knew that though. For example, tonight he was dancing around the house like it was a nightclub spitting out cheesy pick up lines to me.
Me, well. I am actively editing my book. That is all I can commit to. I am taking on a full load of classes this coming quarter, and I am looking forward to each one. I am also really interested in taking a photography class in the Spring. I want to learn how to take a good picture. How to really have an eye for a good shot. I am slowly but surely getting to the body I have set my mind to having, and, I am not focusing on what I havent done, but what I have accomplished.
I am learning to choose joy more often than not.
Happy Sunday, peeps.
What is new with you?!
Just 5 MotherFucking Minutes.
Dec 26, 2008 Parenting, Ranteriffic
Can I get just 5 motherfucking minutes?
To masturbate in piece?
I tried to get an O out while Charli ate and X was knee deep in his messy fucking room that I have been trying to sort through all god damn day today and every 5 minutes his ass was at my door with “mom this” and “come here for a second that”
I AM TRYING TO FREAKING CUM!
I MIGHT BE NICER IF I COULD GET ONE OUT!
To write a motherfucking blog?
Without Charli crawling all over me?
To sleep?
Without my motherfucking phone blowing up?
To eat?
Without Charli crawling all over me?! Trying to get another BITE even though I ALREADY FED HER ASS?!@?!?!
To. Just. Sit. In. Silence.
No MOMMY
No BABE
No RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
No NOISE.
This snow is driving me crazy. Everything is a process. I cannot park in my driveway. So when I do leave, I have to walk SO far in the slush and slippery fucking ice so that my shit doesnt get fucking stuck. I am tired of my feet being cold. I dont want to wear these god awful boots with the fur anymore. I miss my pretty heels. I want to coordinate my motherfucking outfits with them in the morning. Getting ready for work is a big fat ballsack without the ability to coordinate. Plain booooooooo black boots with every stupid outfit is crap.
Crappity crap crap crap.
Fuck snow.
Fuck my F-UPS package still not being here A WEEK after its ‘guaranteed’ delivery date.
Fuck the fact that I cannot get to my gym. This bitch needs cardio right now. NEEEEEEEEEEEDS to run. I need my ipod and my weights and my laps. I am going to motherfucking strangle a bitch if I wake up tomorrow and STILL CANNOT get there!!!!!!!!!
/rant.
You. Go. Thanks.
Green Jello Surprise
Dec 25, 2008 Parenting, Random
Do you remember when you were a kid and you would wake up on Christmas morning and it was as if the tree vomited beautifully wrapped gifts out into the family room floor?
The immense buzz of not knowing exactly what is inside of each carefully wrapped present is indescribable.
I cannot remember a Christmas where I didn’t get at least 1 of my wishes sent in form of a Santa Letter. My grandparents did a great deal of the Santa’ing in our family being that we were financially strapped for most of my tweenage years. Regardless, I always remember being so grateful for what I received. It meant a lot that ‘Santa’ was listening, and in the long run, it meant that much more that Santa did not always come through with each and every want that I had.
As a kid I probably whined that I wanted this and that and only received this, but deep down I knew the reason why.
Life lessons are funny that way.
I look at the people in the world that have everything and for a split second I become a bowl of green jello, wishing that I could be them and have what they have. I imagine the things that I would do with the money in their checking accounts, and the balances on their American Express Cards… giving my kids the lavishest holidays imaginable.
Only for that split second though because the Today’s happen. The genuine gratitude from an 8 year old is something that I wish I could bottle up and prescribe to every single ungrateful snob I know. (I know too many ungrateful fucking snobs, I swear) Xavier did not get a single thing on his list because we 1) couldn’t afford it or 2) couldn’t find it and he was still absolutely elated. He beamed and hugged and thanked us for giving him the ‘best Christmas yet’. He got an Mp3 player with 200 songs already loaded on it, and he hasn’t taken the earbuds out of his ear all day.
That brings me back down from my envious pedestal in the clouds to certain reality. My kids are grounded. They don’t need extravagance. And I do not want to give it to them. I want them to remember Christmas as more than presents. I want them to give more than they receive. Because, that is what the holiday season is about to me. Even if that gift is as small as a compliment or sharing a special recipe or memory with someone who needs a smile. I constantly remind X about the feeling of good that comes with helping out someone less fortunate than we are. We have been the less fortunate before, and because of others believing in the spirit of giving we were able to get through some of the toughest times of our lives.
I hope that because of these moments, he will remain well rounded and appreciative of our firm stance on what we believe to be important.
I had a great Christmas. A relaxed day of great food and family. Being that D and I already spent our gift money on our date, there wasn’t much for us to open. To be honest, this is the first year that it truly did not matter to me. Call me all growed up, but all of the Christmas’s before… I really wanted something special for me under the tree.
Little did I know, there actually was something special. *grin*
I got a Flute for Christmas. An immaculate flute that has barely even ever been touched by the previous owner. I think I maybe mentioned it one time….. that I would love it to have the ability to play again… and there it was, under my tree. For me.
Maybe one day my CharliBear will take after her band geek mommy and I can pass it down to her. Until then, I will be practicing. I might even let those close to me hear me play again.
I am off to give D his belated Christmas present. A blow-job. Wrapped with a pretty pink lipgloss bow.
What did you do for Christmas this year?
Did you have anything under the tree from Santa? (I dont want to hear ‘nothing special’ either.)
What charity do you most support? If you could do one thing for that charity, money and time being no object… what would that be? *Be creative peeps. *
Tags: band geek, elaborate affair, flute, green jello, immaculate, morals, mp3 player, music, Parenting, surprise
My Thoughtful 8 Year Old
Dec 24, 2008 Parenting, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions
Tonight X, Charli and I went to finish the last of our Christmas shopping while D took a nap. X got his allowance from the past couple of weeks and we talked on the way there about who he needed to buy for and how much he could spend on each. He and I picked cool gifts out for Charli, and we came up with a really creative idea for the grandparents.
My kid is super creative.
We decided that we would make a goodie basket (tupperware container) with homemade rainbow chip (his idea) cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, and homemade roca. All made (or at least a huge contribution made) by X. Then we talked about getting inexpensive picture frames and him drawing them their own individual pictures to put inside.
A man playing a musical instrument for his G.P. (d’s dad) He is really into Jazz.
Forks and spoons for his Meemaw and Papa. (My parents.) They have antique wooden forks and spoons all over. Weird, I know.
He came up with both ideas himself. I just added in the detail.
If you werent aware, this little 8 year old has a natural talent for drawing.
So we found frames. $5 a piece.
He tells me that he needs to go and do something ’secret’. Being that we are in the middle of Fred Meyer the day before Christmas Eve, I was extremely pensive to let him wander. But, I take the plunge. I set his watch timer for 30 minutes and we agree to meet back in the same spot we were standing. We pinkie swear that he wont wander off and do other things (the toy section) that have nothing to do with what he was supposed to be doing (buying me a present).
I tried to focus on shopping. I really, really did. I was not successful. I was so worried about him getting snatched up by some molestor who prays Fred Meyer at Christmas time for parents who let their kids have a moment of freedom to do something thoughtful. So really I circled the shoe section where we agreed to meet. I swear I checked my phone for the time every 30 seconds. I was waiting for the intercom to call my name out because he got lost or freaked out.
Instead, my little man sauntered up with a goofy smile on his face. He had a bag behind his back.
“No peeking, Mom.” And a little giggle.
“Never. I wouldnt want to ruin my surprise.” I winked.
He is growing into such an amazing young man. This is the first holiday that he made all of the decisions. I gave him the money and let him use his own creativity to figure it out. Even if he bought me dryer sheets for Christmas, they would be the most awesome dryer sheets ever. Because whatever brought him to that decision was the important part. Not the gift, the thought behind it.
Really, that is what all gifts are supposed to be about. The thought.
What is the most thoughtful gift you have ever recieved? Given?
Do you remember that moment as a kid when you were given that independence?
Tags: christmas, dryer sheets, Fred Meyer, gift, its the thought that counts, money, shopping, thoughtful
You’ve Got Wicked Mail!
Dec 22, 2008 Random, Ranteriffic, You've Got Wicked Mail
It is open letter day! I have decided to make this a regular, weekly occurrence on my blog… so save yours for my forum. Enjoy, and please include yours!!!
Dear F-UPS,
I would like to send you a friendly fucking reminder as to what day it is today. Today, is in fact Monday. I am still impatiently waiting for that ‘guaranteed’ package. It was ‘guaranteed’ for Friday. Saturday, you couldnt find my package, so it was ‘re-guaranteed’ for today. FYI, today is almost motherfucking over. Still, no package. I am baffled at the fact that you have these monster sized delivery trucks, yet you cannot make it anywhere in the snow to honor your delivery commitment. As far as you are concerned, my long anticipated, much needed romantic Saturday sex-fest with my husband was ruined because of your poor communication and lack luster customer service.
Furthermore, you should fire the fucking person in charge of the Redmond, Washington shipping center. Who has ONE employee working the register for BOTH deliveries AND package pick-up on the Saturday before Christmas? We watched person after person get denied their packages because the douche-sicles you have working the tracking procedures at the wherehouse simply ‘couldnt find the packages’. Really? What is the motherfucking point of a TRACKING NUMBER?!?! Is there no organization?
Thank you for not doing the right thing and refunding me my $25, due to ‘weather conditions beyond F-UPS control’. That was extremely customer friendly of you. Considering the fact that you redefined the definition of ‘guaranteed delivery’ to ‘if the driver remembers to’.
I will never use F-UPS ever again. I will tell all of my friends and co-workers and blog readers of your piss poor services, horrible orginization and planning skills, and potentially runing the one night in almost 2 years with my husband.
Fuck Off,
WickedCourtni
Dear Eastside Oasis Day Spa,
I hearby honor you with the “Worst Customer Service Ever In My Fucking Life” Award for closing your establishment down and not bothering to call your scheduled appointments to let them know.
Why is it that you hold your guests to a cancellation policy, yet you cannot abide to the same standards? I should charge your ass 50% for not giving me the courtesy to let me know ahead of time. I had to scramble to make my plans happen, and stress out to try to find a suitable day spa at an affordable rate with only 3 hours notice. Luckily I was able to, but do not for one minute think that I am through with you. When you finally re-open, I am gonna have your ass in a sling so fucking fast and gangster, that I hope tears commence.
Fuck yourself with your White Tea body scrub. Right in your uncustomer friendly ass.
WC
Dear Snow,
I am breaking up with you. Your previously requested services of a “White Christmas” are no longer needed, wanted, or even desired. Pack up and kick snow covered rocks. Dont let the frozen door hitcha where Frosty the Snowman splitcha.
GEOFHERE,
WickedFrozen
Need to vent? Do you have your own open letter you need me to stamp?
Rant away peeps. I need to see more than 16 mofoin comments, dammit!
Tags: bad customer service, open letter, spa, ups
How To Make Strawberry Lemonade
Dec 21, 2008 Relationships, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions
Sometimes the littlest happening can make the biggest difference. When you know that you love someone, it is hard to accept the fact that you are in a rut/dry spell. It is even harder to figure out that balance to bunker down and work through it, while still keeping all of your life’s balls in the air.
I have noticed our rut. He noticed it too. It made for silly disagreements over the smallest things, and tension between us. In truth, we have been in a romantic rut for several months. But with life/kids/work/school/stress/money….. just jumping back into the romance and spontaneity that is common between 10+ years of our lives together is not the easiest thing to do.
This Christmas, D and I decided to combine our gift budget and plan something to do together. I wanted spa, he wanted good food… we both wanted a whole night of no kids. Done, Done and motherfucking Done. I woke up Saturday morning to snow flurries and possible 90 mph winds. Great. I also woke up to no package on my doorstep after 3 calls and 2 manager escalations with F-UPS. All 3 promised me that my package with my sexy lingerie was 100% guraranteed to be delivered before 12AM on Saturday morning like I paid extra for. Boo. I called the spa to just double check our appt time. On their answering machine it stated that they had closed due to projected bad weather conditions. Did they call and let me know? Uhm No. So if I hadnt called.. . . we would have driven there to a sign on the door. And would have been screwed.
*insert many cusswords*
After I threw a tantrum, I decided to search high and low for an affordable and similar spa experience. After weeding through the bullshit, I found an extremely nice woman who was kind enough to hear my sob story. In my teary state, I explained to her the happenings vs. the plans. She found a way to squeeze us in between appointments for a 3o minute massage and 30 minute peppermint body scrub. Yay! This left me seething about my package. So my friend Lisa and I fly as fast as we could to the shipping center to try to get it. Ri i i ght. There were 30 people in front of us, and 1 person working. We stood there for 10 minutes while we watched poor soul after poor soul get sent away because the dumbshits at F-UPS ‘couldnt find their packages’.
What is the point of a motherfucking tracking number?
With less than 2 hours to spare before our appointment, we decided to bag that idea and search for something similar. As much as I didnt want to spend more money on something I had already purchased, my plans were to give D a special treat… and I didnt want that to not happen. So I found a sexy black satin robe. It was a short one, and it looked really good with the stockings and shoes. I was happy (er) than before.
The spa was amazing. They treated us so well, and took extra care in making our first spa experience an amazing one. We will be visiting them again in the near future. D did not pre-absorb the nude aspect of the body scrub, and was totally uncomfortable and nervous at first. HAH. Even the estitition said that she wouldnt recommend the body scrub for the first spa visit… HAH! D is super brave.
The hotel was even better. Taking the weather into consideration, we almost didnt make it. We were gonna just stay home. But I was really set on spending this time with D. Especially considering the fact that I had driven to the ends of the earth to get this damn sexy attire together last minute. Yep. I was willing to risk the blizzard so I could seduce my husband. What a wonderful wife I am. We checked in, got a free upgrade to a suite, (thanks Ruben!) and headed down to the hotel restaurant to have dinner. The food was spectacular. I was concerned because the menu was so small… but they did a kick ass job.
It took me practically begging D to go down to the bar to get a wine opener so that I could do a quick change into my outfit. I plugged up my ipod (cause you know I pre-made a slow jam playlist) and lit some candles, turning off all the lights. When he opened the door, there I was perched with my sexy stockings and shoes. He was beaming from ear to ear. After we *m a d e * l o v e*, I told him about the whole fiasco with F-UPS and the lengths I went to to pull it off. Needless to say, it was greatly appreciated.
The rest of the night was spent naked in bed while we talked and touched and just were. Together. We were probably asleep before midnight. We woke up making love. We ate breakfast and then made love. When I say ‘made love’ I dont necessarily mean the sex part either. Just loving him is making love in my eyes. As important as the sexual relationship is to the both of us, our marriage is more than that.
Not only did this kickstart our sex again… It lit a flame under our heart connection. We desperately needed that.
Life’s lemons and our love made some amazing strawberry lemonade.
I hope that you take a sip of ours, and figure out how to make some of your own.
Have you ever had to make plans work, even when all signs pointed to the plans not being meant to happen?
What kind of lemonade do you make when life hands you lemons?
Other than sex, what is another way that you ‘make-love’ with your partner?
Tags: date night, lingerie, making love, romance, rut, Sex, strawberry lemonade, ups, when life gives you lemons
