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Posts Tagged ‘weather’

Snowmageddon. Blizzardgate. Plain old Bullshit.

Whatever you call it, we were all expecting a monster of a storm in New England yesterday, and we got it… if you call half an inch of snow “it”.

Because the folks that manage the webpages for each of the local news stations are obviously better at their jobs than the meteorologists are, the snow prediction maps from yesterday morning are no longer available online. Since you’re reading my blog, you’re going to have to trust my memory on this one: According to WHDH, we were supposed to get 8-12 inches in Worcester and 12-15+ south of Worcester. WBZ had Worcester pegged for 5-8 and south of the city at 8-14″, and Fox was calling for 4-8″ in Worcester and 8-12″ to the Connecticut border.

They all picked a pretty wide range. 4-8″? I always aim for classy, so let’s use the ever-amusing penis size analogy. Wouldn’t you REALLY like to know which end of the spectrum to be expecting? And yet, allowing themselves the margin of error between a sock puppet and a porn star, they still managed to completely miss the mark by, oh, say, another porn star.

I don’t have hard data because I’m too lazy to obtain any information that doesn’t appear on the first page of Google results, but if I had to throw out a percentage to indicate how often the weather predictions I see on TV actually turn out to be reasonably close to what actually happens, I’d give them 60%. That’s not even a passing grade in public school! You could flip a quarter every day that’s cloudy and below 32 degrees and probably come up almost as accurate as them.

I know the weather’s variable and unpredictable and all that, and yeah, I am aware that I’m living in New England, but with all the millions of dollars put into weather predicting technology can’t they do a little better? They make obscene amounts of money, and they’re hyped up on TV like they’re the supreme, all-knowing gods of weather.

Just cut the crap, please. Stop paying these meteorologists millions of dollars to tell you what any old geezer with a metal hip will tell you.

Here’s my take on the forecast maps for yesterday:

Sorry, DC.