Don’t get me wrong. I love a good fart joke as much as the next guy…but I was surprised at my ability to accept the fact that my boyfriend is a serial farter. True love and all that I guess.
It started on our third date. He was on the floor tying his shoes and my roommate’s cat started walking up to him. Next thing I know, he’s lifted his leg and I couldn’t believe my ears…
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“I just wanted to scare the cat.”
“Did you just FART ON THE CAT?”
“Yes. It’s funny.”
“This is our third date! Really?”
“Oh come on…”
“No. Get up. Just…get up.”
It’s worse when he does it in my room…For those that have seen my room know…it is TINY…and I can’t open the door so the cats don’t come in. So when we’re lying in bed and he farts, it is lethal. One time, he was sitting on the bed when I was getting dressed…
“Oh…my…god, did you fart?!”
*sheepish look*
“What, you couldn’t walk 2 STEPS TO GET OUT IN TO THE HALL?”
My bed is small enough that he can’t be slick enough to dutch oven me but the one day when he farted when we were lying in bed THREE TIMES, I was ready to die. And then he offered to turn on my space heater to help it go away faster and I just looked at him in disbelief. Did he really think I’d let him dutch oven my ENTIRE ROOM?
So of course, it should be no surprise that this was how the conversation went when I met his mom for the first time…at some point, I uttered the words…
“Your son is a serial farter.”
“Oh I know…wait till you have to smell it.”
“Oh…I have.”
*instant bonding*
I love the hell out of my boyfriend but I still can’t believe I’m OK with this. Of course, he is learning. He makes the effort to go to the bathroom or outside if he has to fart now…
If only I could train him to sleep walk so he can leave the room when he’s farting in the middle of the night…
Alright…what stinky/weird traits have you overlooked because love was just worth it?
What was a deal breaker?
As always…it’s TMIT so go ahead and check out the other awesomely gross stories over at LiLu’s blog.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
your boyfriend would fit right in with my family….we make it a game….just sayin!!! LOL
And that fact really shouldn’t surprise anyone that knows me.
I try not to do it in a public setting, but better out than in is my philosophy….
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 11:41
LOL…I’m just glad he’s more aware of his body instead of letting it rip without notice.
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OMG. Wow. I don’t think I could ever be ok with that. I had a bf who would just let one rip every once in a while to be funny and it was just…no.
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 11:40
It’s rare that he does it on purpose…but yeah, it’s definitely there. LOL
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I seriously hate dudes who fart all over me. Or all up in my space. Or in the room where I’m sitting. I don’t do it, why must you? A little accidental slip is one thing…constant farting? No thank you.
Also, I’d like to know what is UP with the neverending ball scratching. If that thing is diseased, please kindly take it away from me.
shine´s last blog ..TMI Thursday – Gynecologists are the new celebrity hairstylists, apparently.
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 12:08
He doesn’t do the ball scratching, thank GOD.
I know that there are times he can’t help with the farting so I appreciate when he goes outside for it but the times he thinks it’s funny…
I just wanna kill him.
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Just want to tell you for the record now that my girlfriend farted FIRST before I even tooted. We were laying on the couch and talking and PBBBHT! Nothing is worst than having sex and all of a sudden a wet fart is blown on your balls. MAJOR TURN OFF
phampants´s last blog ..Did That Really Just Happened?
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 13:35
OMG…He hasn’t farted during sex…THANK GOD
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I’ve never been comfortable enough to fart in front of a significant other, but I’m reaching the point where it doesn’t really bother me if (the hypothetical) he does it around me.
And, to be honest, sometimes I’m impressed by a really monstrous burp. I’m bizarre.
Liebchen´s last blog ..I got it from my mama
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 13:35
Oh…my burps are epic. He’s quite proud of them.
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Ha! That’s so kind of you to turn the other nostral to his farting.
Ed Adams´s last blog ..Some Acceptable phrases with double meanings…
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 13:36
I know, I try.
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Welllll…. if I had a nickel for every time I have heard my husband “rip ass” as he so politely puts it, I would be living in a mansion in costa rica! Seriously. No joke. Last night alone was probably 50 times. About a month after we started dating we were laying in bed one night and somehow the conversation of farting came up. I can’t remember the exact point but he kept asking me to fart. “comeon I want to hear it, i bet you can’t” when all it really was was that he wanted me to say “you first” or something to that effect because he really had to let one rip. Which he consequently did. It was ALLLLL downhill from there. But that’s ok because when I was pregnant, I gave him a dose. *snicker*
Did you say it was TMI comment day?!?!?! HAHAHA
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 15:47
Hahahaha…that’s hilarious. I have not farted in front of him but my burps can be pretty lethal!
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gah-ross! hubby says girl farts smell way worse tho. his theory is that we try to be polite and “hold them in” and they fester and descend into further nastiness when finally released. TMIx2!
Lusty Reader´s last blog ..Opposite day for Haddadi and romance novels
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 15:32
LMAO! I haven’t farted in front of him but that’s only because I haven’t had the urge to…But I doubt my farts would smell worse than his!
I bet you they will discuss this next time we get them together…LOL
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I have instant like and respect for your boyfriend.
Props to him.
Mike´s last blog ..Chuck Norris
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 15:32
Haha, good to know
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Sorry, but…………….bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 15:48
Uhhuh.
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I guess that is partially my fault because I let Matt get away with it. Sorry. Perhaps we could both break them of it.
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 10th, 2009 at 18:12
I’ve been trying to train him so at least he doesn’t do it in the room…
Maybe we can retrain both of them at the same time.
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my fiance smokes ciggerettes. And sometimes when he comes in from outside it absolutely repulses me. I don’t hold back on telling him his mouth smells like an ashtray. It’s tough sometimes. But that’s love right? As a former smoker I can understand that he will only quit when he wants too.
He is also a toxic farter. It’s awful, but I’ve worked on that-he doesn’t do it in such confined spaces anymore because I literally start gagging.
Lauren´s last blog ..I LOVE…Fridays!!!
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 12:14
I am SO glad he doesn’t smoke…That’s actually a deal breaker for me.
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I’d tell you the things I’ve overlooked…
but I’m pretty sure we’re even.
LiLu´s last blog ..What are YOU Doing Tonight?
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 12:14
Pretty sure.
<3
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To me, the serial farting thing would probably be a dealbreaker, so you’re a better person than I am…
Paula´s last blog ..HELP!!!
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PrincessQ Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 12:15
Haha, I guess. If he can overlook my constant burping, it’s love.
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Yuckkkk. I hope this is NOT a problem the future love of my life has…
Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..The White House: I Want to Go to There
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I usually do not do commenting. but thanks for this great post and looking forward to more.
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